Adrian Volenik
We all like to think that we’re the number 1 priority for our partners. But in reality, that’s not always the truth.
Life gets in the way, and we lose touch with what’s really important.
That said, we all still expect to be a high priority for our partner, right? If that’s not the case, your relationship might be in trouble.
So, to get to the bottom of this, here are some signs you’re not a high priority to your partner.
1) Future plans seem to magically exclude you
Planning a future together is a natural step in a committed relationship, right? But what happens if your partner seems to have a roadmap that conveniently doesn’t include you?
Whether you’re discussing future vacations, career moves, or even holiday plans, you find yourself on the sidelines.
They’ve mapped out their journey, and you’re left wondering where you fit into the picture.
When this happens, you have the right to question the depth of your connection and their commitment to a shared future.
Something’s obviously not right.
2) Quality time? What’s that? Definitely not in their dictionary
Quality time is the secret sauce of a thriving relationship, but for your partner, it’s something they can’t wrap their head around.
It’s not that they’re too busy; they just don’t prioritize spending meaningful time with you.
Dates, movie nights, or even just a quiet evening together are as rare as finding a four-leaf clover.
The lack of quality time can quickly make you feel disconnected and undervalued. So, take the initiative and jot down some dates in the calendar when you’ll spend quality time together.
It’s as good a start as any.
3) Work or you? Work wins, like, all the time
Balancing work and personal life is tricky, but for your partner, work is always the winner.
Late nights at the office, constant business trips, or just being mentally preoccupied with work – you often find yourself taking a backseat.
It’s not that you don’t respect their career, but feeling consistently overshadowed by it sucks. As does the following:
4) Affection is as rare as a shooting star from them
Affection is the glue that holds relationships together, but your partner seems to be on an affection hiatus.
Hugs, kisses, and sweet gestures are as rare as a desert oasis. You obviously don’t need constant PDA, but a complete lack of affection is also not ideal. Far from it!
Raise the issue and tell them how you feel. You know, we have a small kid, and that often gets in the way of affection. But it shouldn’t, right?
Where there’s a will, there’s a way.
5) Cheering on your dreams? They’re more like dream-squashers
You’re excited about your dreams and goals and want to talk about them all the time, but your partner couldn’t be less interested.
Instead of being your biggest cheerleader, they express indifference or, worse, actively discourage your ambitions.
For some reason, they’re raining on your parade, and pursuing your goals is now a solo journey.
Again, your first step is to talk it out. But that can be hard if they’re behaving like this:
6) Conflict resolution? Nah, let’s just sweep it under the rug
Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, but your partner seems to be a master at avoiding it.
Instead of addressing issues head-on, they sweep them under the rug, hoping they’ll magically disappear.
You don’t wanna cause drama, but open communication is crucial for growth. Avoiding conflicts can create a ticking time bomb.
If you think the situation isn’t good now, just wait a few months when there’s no room under the rug anymore and issues start creeping up.
7) They bail on plans way too often, leaving you hanging
You know that friend who’s always fashionably late? Well, your partner takes it up a notch by canceling plans altogether.
It’s also not just a one-time thing; it’s become a recurring theme. You’ve got your outfit on, looking forward to a good time, and suddenly, the “Sorry, something came up” text pops in.
Ugh, so infuriating!
Do they think their time matters more than yours?
We come back to the issue of not spending quality time together, too. How can you if they’re acting like that all the time?
8) Texts from them are like spotting a unicorn
Look, not everyone likes to text, but communication is the backbone of any relationship, and your partner seems to have missed the memo.
Getting a text from them is like finding a hidden treasure – rare and unexpected:
You send out messages, memes, and funny and sweet GIFs, and the response time is slower than a snail on a leisurely stroll.
It’s not about being glued to the phone, but some regular back-and-forth would be nice, right?
The lack of communication makes you feel like you’re talking to yourself. Or to a wall.
9) Ever feel like you’re talking to a wall?
When was the last time your partner asked about your day or showed genuine interest in your life?
For example, you share your victories and struggles, and it’s met with a half-hearted nod or a distracted “uh-huh.”
Your stories and experiences just don’t seem to register.
You don’t need a personal cheerleader, but a little engagement and connection go a long way.
10) They’ve got a VIP list, and you’re not on it
Everyone has their inner circle, but it stings when you realize you’re not part of your partner’s VIP list.
They have close friends, maybe family, and it feels like there’s a velvet rope keeping you out.
Invitations to gatherings with their inner circle are rare, and you’re left wondering why you’re not considered a significant part of their social life.
Feeling like an outsider in your own relationship is disheartening, and it’s a signal that your partner isn’t prioritizing your place in their life.
11) Your needs are like ghosts to them – invisible
Your needs and desires seem to be draped in a black hole. It doesn’t matter if you’re expressing your emotions, talking about what bothers you, or just looking for a bit of support. Your partner just doesn’t see or acknowledge them.
How does that make you feel?
Well, like your feelings are tucked away in a box, collecting dust.
12) Your achievements get crickets, not applause
We already talked about your dreams and how your partner might not share the enthusiasm with you.
But what about your successes? Surely, they must appreciate them, right?
Perhaps not. You achieve something significant, and the response is the sound of crickets.
Whether it’s a career milestone or a personal accomplishment, your partner’s lack of enthusiasm is demoralizing, to say the least.
You clearly don’t need a standing ovation, but a simple acknowledgment and celebration would be nice.
13) It’s the “Me Show,” and your needs are the understudies
If your relationship feels more like the “Me Show,” where your needs and priorities play second fiddle, you need to have a heart-to-heart.
Why should you feel like the understudy in your own story?
Your partner shouldn’t consistently put their own needs ahead of yours, leaving you wondering where you stand in their list of priorities.
If that’s the case, it’s a clear signal that the balance in the relationship needs some recalibration.
Final thoughts
Turning things around in a relationship involves open communication, mutual understanding, and being ready to work together.
Initiate an honest conversation about how you’re feeling. Share your thoughts, concerns, and desires in a calm and non-confrontational way.
It’s not about blaming but expressing your needs.
Every relationship is unique, but the key is to be open, understanding, and willing to put in the effort together.
