If your partner displays these 10 body language signs, deep down they’re losing attraction for you

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So, you’ve been in a committed relationship for a while now –– be that four months or four years.

Things were going great until this little nagging voice in the back of your head started speaking. 

It’s telling you something’s changed. And what’s worse is, you can’t argue with it because things do feel different.

You try as hard as you can, but you just can’t put your finger on the source of your uncertainty.

Body language is a difficult thing to perceive.

It isn’t explicit like someone outright telling you they’re not attracted to you anymore.

Yet non-verbal cues can sometimes convey emotions more powerfully than words. 

In this article, I’ll share 10 body language signs that might mean your partner is losing interest.

Let’s dive in.

1) Wandering eyes

Do your partner’s eyes still search for yours across a room or from the opposite end of a dinner table?

Or do they look at their watch every 10 minutes? 

Do their eyes flick from your face to something else to something else?

Increased eye contact has also been linked to dislike.

This is less common in the case of someone losing interest in a romantic connection, but they may be aware that decreased eye contact will give them away. 

Instead, they’ll overcompensate.

You should pay extra attention to what accompanies this change.

They might be staring at you as you recount the latest drama at the office, but are they asking questions? 

Or are they staring through you at the wall?

Attentive eye contact establishes a connection created by interest. If it’s not there, they might be losing it.

Let’s look at something else that might have diminished. 

2) Fading sex drive

First off, what you do in the bedroom is none of my business.

If your partner spent most of your relationship wanting some every night whereas now they only light the bedside candles once a month, there might be a problem.

You might just be missing the magical sex of your honeymoon phase.

Things tend to calm down when the relationship has settled a bit.

It’s also natural for your sex drive to fluctuate –– think of your hormones! 

A loss of libido can be caused by any or a combination of the following:

  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Pregnancy
  • Lack of sleep
  • Substance abuse
  • Low testosterone

The list goes on…

However, this loss of libido can be unaccounted for and coupled with a decrease in non-sexual intimacy between the two of you.

This is when you should address some things. 

3) Less physical affection 

Physical touch is a huge part of non-sexual intimacy.

Studies have shown that physical affection is highly correlated with partner and relationship satisfaction.

Examples of physical affection include:

  •  Hand holding
  •  Hugging
  •  Kissing 
  •  Backrubs/massaging
  •  Stroking

When you’re lying on the couch together watching TV, do they still absentmindedly stroke your arm?

If they no longer do these things where they did before, they might be betraying their loss of attraction.

They might even take it one step further and physically distance themselves from you.

4) Physical distancing

Does being around them remind you of being back in 2020, wearing a face mask and clutching a bottle of hand disinfectant? 

Whether it’s unconscious or not, they’re using space as a barrier between the two of you.

They no longer walk side by side on the pavement, but in front or behind you.

At last week’s dinner party, they sat two chairs away. 

They might even cancel plans to avoid spending time with you. 

On the opposite side of the spectrum, you might notice them crossing their arms and displaying other smaller signs of closed body language.

These things can sting once you become aware of them. Just remember that there’s a chance they’re motivated by other reasons.

Perhaps something else is bothering them — they could just need some space.

5) Angling away

This one’s often more difficult to pick up on.

Imagine you’re having a conversation and your partner appears to be listening, nodding, and shaking their head at regular intervals.

You still notice something a bit off about their body language. Their feet are turned away from you.

You might be thinking that this detail is so small that it couldn’t be very significant.

I hear you, but in nonverbal communication, the feet are capable of translating various signals.

If the feet are pointed sideways, away from the conversation, that person is often expressing disinterest.

The same applies if the feet are retracted under the seat. 

Ideally, your partner’s feet are turned slightly outwards and point towards you.

This shows openness and attentiveness. 

In the process of turning away from you, both physically and metaphorically, they could be turning to something else.

6) The turn to technology

Is your partner spending an unusual amount of time lately glued to their phone, tablet, or TV? 

Are they taking out their phone every 10 minutes during weekly date night?

You might be fearing the worst: they’ve met someone else and are secretly waiting for messages under the guise of wanting to check the time. 

To put it bluntly, yes. This could be the case. In many instances, it’s not though.

Maybe they are genuinely just checking the time constantly. Are they nervous about something?

With an increased addiction to screens, they could be searching for stimulation or distraction. 

I know it’s difficult, but this is something you should try and confront them about to figure out where this behavior is coming from.

You should be entertaining enough for them!

7) Lack of laughter

Laughing simultaneously with your romantic partner has been linked with increased relationship quality and closeness.

Often, a similar sense of humor does wonders for how compatible you are with a person.

However, even this can fade and die.

Is your partner still smiling at you? 

Are you two still laughing about the same things?

If your connection is going south, you might find that you’re suddenly out of sync.

Not only are you barely laughing together anymore, you might find yourselves doing the opposite –– arguing.

8) The short fuse

Do the two of you argue more often? There’s nothing wrong with arguing in a relationship.

On the contrary –– some level of conflict in a partnership is considered healthy. It shows neither of you are afraid to voice your opinions.

But it must be done in an open, communicative way.

The problem arises if the time you spend arguing suddenly increases exponentially. 

This usually indicates a bunch of underlying issues.

It takes patience and respect to listen to another person’s side of the story. If this respect is missing, you must take a closer look at what’s truly going on.

Hand in hand with a change in communication style is a change in tone of voice. 

Let’s have a look.

9) Tone of voice

You might not have stopped to think about it, but a person’s tone of voice changes drastically depending on whether they’re talking to a friend, colleague, teacher, or person of romantic interest.

People have been known to alter their tone to mirror the tone of those they find attractive.

If you’re noticing a change in pitch or tone in your partner, they could be switching back to their previous way of talking.

Emojis have also entered the picture in the past decade.

A recent study depicted the power these little characters have of reducing ambiguity in digital romantic encounters.

Whatever your thoughts are on the subject, we’re dealing with a new kind of language whose tone can also change depending on the strength of a relationship.

Let’s say you’ve always known your partner to be an avid ‘winky face’ user.

It used to be a rare thing to receive a text without the usual accompaniment of emojis.

Now, it’s no longer a rare thing. The texts are dry and colorless. 

Again, sometimes it isn’t necessary to read into this too much, but it’s always interesting to be aware of. 

10) Forgetting the little things

Here we are, last but not least.

Are they still making you a cup of coffee in the mornings?

Take anything along these lines that rings true for your own relationship and ask yourself if these habits have faded recently.

These small acts of service have the scope to hold a huge amount of respect and affection.

It would be worth noting your partner’s love language. 

There are 5 main types:

  • Words of affirmation
  • Receiving gifts
  • Physical touch
  • Quality time
  • Acts of service

If their love language is incidentally ‘acts of service’, it would be rare for them to suddenly start expressing love differently. 

It could be an indication that the love they’d normally express in this way, just isn’t there anymore.

Final thoughts

These behaviors vary depending on the relationship, so feel free to take them with a healthy pinch of salt.

These could be your partner losing attraction, but they might point to something else that’s going on.

I’d advise not to jump to any conclusions, but instead to create a safe space for open communication. 

Don’t be afraid to address the issue directly.

What’s the worst they could say?

Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase, a New York City native, writes about the complexities of modern life and relationships. Her articles draw from her experiences navigating the vibrant and diverse social landscape of the city. Isabella’s insights are about finding harmony in the chaos and building strong, authentic connections in a fast-paced world.

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