If your goal is to become more assertive and confident, say hello to these 8 daily habits

There’s a huge difference between being bold and simply being bossy. It all comes down to balance.

Being assertive is about standing up for yourself, while maintaining respect for others. It’s about confidence, not arrogance.

Now, becoming more assertive and confident doesn’t happen overnight. But, by incorporating certain daily habits, you can slowly but surely pave your way there.

So if your goal is to become more assertive and confident, it’s time to say hello to these 8 daily habits. Here’s a sneak peek of what you’re in for.

1) Start your day with self-affirmations

Believe it or not, your journey to becoming more assertive and confident starts with you.

Self-affirmations have been proven to boost confidence and self-esteem. It’s all about reminding yourself of your strengths, capabilities and worth.

It’s easy to get caught up in the rat race of life, forgetting to appreciate and value ourselves. But taking a few minutes each day for positive self-talk can be transformative.

Consider this your daily pep talk. Stand in front of the mirror, look yourself in the eye and affirm your worth. Say things like “I am capable”, “I am strong”, or “I can handle whatever comes my way”. Most importantly, imagine yourself embodying these traits in the day ahead – what do you do, how do you talk to people, and how do you feel?

This is not about being egotistical. It’s about acknowledging your worth and capabilities, reinforcing them in your mind.

Start incorporating this simple habit into your daily routine and watch how it changes your perception of yourself, boosting your assertiveness and confidence over time.

2) Practice expressing your thoughts and feelings

I’ll let you in on a little secret. For the longest time, I struggled with speaking up. I’d often keep my thoughts and opinions to myself, worried about how people would react.

Then, I decided to make a change. I started to practice expressing my thoughts and feelings on a daily basis. Whether it was sharing an idea at work or expressing my feelings to a close friend, I made it a point to communicate openly.

I won’t lie, it was uncomfortable at first. But with each passing day, it got easier. Today, I can confidently express myself without fear of judgment or rejection.

This habit has not only boosted my assertiveness but also enhanced my relationships and interactions with others.

3) Embrace body language

Your posture, gestures, and facial expressions speak volumes about your confidence and assertiveness.

And not only that – they can actually change your inner experience of your confidence too.

It’s a phenomenon known as “embodied cognition” – our body’s influence on our mind. You may have heard how smiling can bring up feelings of happiness – it’s the same principle. Research shows that standing tall and maintaining eye contact can actually make you feel more powerful and confident. 

So, pay attention to your body language. Make it a habit to maintain a good posture, use open gestures, and maintain eye contact when you’re communicating with others.

It may seem simple, but it’s an effective way to project assertiveness and confidence – not just to others, but to yourself as well.

4) Set and respect your boundaries

Being assertive and confident also involves understanding your personal boundaries and ensuring others respect them too.

It’s about knowing your limits, your values, and standing up for them. It’s saying “no” when you need to, without feeling guilty or apologetic.

Start by identifying what you are comfortable with and what you are not. It could be in any area of life – work, relationships, or personal time. For example, maybe you find that you don’t want colleauges calling your or emailing you outside of your work hours. 

Once you have defined your boundaries, communicate them clearly to those around you. Remember, it’s not about being confrontational but about expressing your needs and expectations in a respectful manner.

And the most powerful way to assert your boundaries? Through actions. If someone oversteps and, say, calls you after you leave work, simply don’t answer. It can feel tough to do at first, but remember, you are not only boosting your assertiveness but also fostering mutual respect in your interactions with others.

5) Celebrate your achievements, big and small

In the hustle and bustle of life, we often forget to celebrate our victories, especially the small ones. We’re so focused on reaching the next milestone that we don’t take a moment to appreciate how far we’ve come.

But let me tell you, every achievement, no matter how small, is a testament to your strength and perseverance. It’s proof that you can set goals and achieve them.

So, make it a habit to celebrate your victories – both big and small. Take a moment to reflect on your achievements, appreciate your efforts, and bask in the glow of your success.

This simple act can do wonders for your confidence. It reminds you of your capabilities and boosts your assertiveness, encouraging you to reach for bigger heights. After all, if you’ve done it once, you can do it again!

6) Embrace failure as part of the journey

There was a time when I was so afraid of failing that it held me back. I’d avoid taking risks or trying new things, fearful of the potential for failure.

Over time, I realized that this fear was limiting my growth. I saw that failure wasn’t the end of the world, but rather an opportunity to learn and grow. It’s been a tough lesson, but one that has truly transformed my approach to life.

Now, I encourage you to do the same. Understand that failure is a natural part of life and growth. Instead of fearing it, embrace it. Use it as a stepping stone to improve and move forward.

If you need a bit of help with this, I highly recommend watching this video by Justin Brown on the imposter syndrome. It’s one of the resources that has helped me most on this transformational journey. Justin shares his own struggles with embracing failure, and how he ultimately learned to see challenges as a catalyst for authentic growth and empowerment.

I can’t stress enough how important it is to invest in mindset shifts like this, especially if you want to become more assertive. After all, if you’re not afraid to fail, you become unstoppable.

7) Practice active listening

While assertiveness often involves expressing oneself, it’s equally important to be a good listener.

Active listening is about fully engaging in a conversation, showing genuine interest, and responding thoughtfully. It’s about validating the other person’s perspective, even if you don’t agree with it.

This habit not only shows respect for others but also helps you build stronger relationships. It gives you a better understanding of different viewpoints, improving your communication skills and boosting your confidence in social situations.

How can you put this into practice? Start by being truly curious about what the other person is saying. Put aside any thoughts about what you’re going to say next, and wait 2 seconds after the person has finished speaking until you open your mouth. 

You might be amazed about the insights you’ll gain from this style of listening – and how much easier it becomes to express yourself in return, when people feel truly heard!

8) Believe in yourself

At the end of the day, your level of assertiveness and confidence is deeply rooted in your belief in yourself.

It’s about trusting your abilities, your judgments, and your instincts. It’s about knowing that you are capable and deserving of respect.

This belief is not something that can be instilled overnight. It requires consistent effort and positive reinforcement. But once you start believing in yourself, you’ll notice a significant boost in your assertiveness and confidence.

So, make it a habit to believe in yourself. Because if you don’t, who will?

Final thoughts: It’s a journey

The path to becoming more assertive and confident is deeply personal and unique to each individual.

These habits we’ve discussed are stepping stones, guides to help you on this journey. They aren’t magic formulas that will transform you overnight. But with consistent effort, they can bring about significant changes in your demeanor and outlook.

Remember, it’s okay to stumble along the way. Assertiveness and confidence aren’t about never experiencing self-doubt or fear. They’re about facing those feelings head-on and not allowing them to dictate your actions.

As the renowned motivational speaker Les Brown once said, “You are the only real obstacle in your path to a fulfilling life.”

So, embrace these habits, believe in yourself, and embark on your journey towards greater assertiveness and confidence. Because you have it within you to be the person you aspire to be.

Lucas Graham

Lucas Graham, based in Auckland, writes about the psychology behind everyday decisions and life choices. His perspective is grounded in the belief that understanding oneself is the key to better decision-making. Lucas’s articles are a mix of personal anecdotes and observations, offering readers relatable and down-to-earth advice.

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