If you want your partner to feel deeply loved, say goodbye to these habits

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We all crave that deep, undeniable connection with our partners, the kind that feels like a warm embrace even in the coldest times. 

And we often find ourselves wondering, “How can I make my partner feel truly loved?” It’s a question as old as time, yet the answer is simpler than we might think.

The truth is, love isn’t just about grand gestures or poetic words whispered under the moonlight. It’s in the everyday actions, the small moments that might seem insignificant but hold the weight of the world. 

And sometimes, it’s not about what we do, but what we choose not to do.

You see, without even realizing it, we might be holding onto habits that keep our partners from feeling that deep sense of love we’re trying to convey. 

These habits, often overlooked, can be the silent thieves of affection and connection.

So, if you’re nodding along, thinking, “Maybe that’s me,” then you’re in the right place. 

It’s time to shine a light on those behaviors and make a change for the better. Because love, at its core, is about growth and understanding. 

Let’s embark on this journey together, shall we?

1) Neglecting to listen

We’ve all been there, caught up in our own thoughts and concerns, that we sometimes forget to truly listen. It’s easy to fall into the habit of hearing without listening, especially in a world where distractions are just a fingertip away. 

But here’s the thing—listening, truly listening, is one of the most profound acts of love.

Imagine this: Your partner is sharing their day, their dreams, or maybe something that’s been troubling them. They’re not just sharing words; they’re inviting you into their world. 

When we fail to listen, we’re not just missing words; we’re missing a chance to connect, to show that we value their thoughts and feelings as much as our own.

So, how do we break this habit? It starts with intention. 

Next time your partner speaks, give them your undivided attention. Turn off the TV, put down your phone, and let them know that in this moment, nothing is more important than what they have to say. It’s a simple gesture, but its impact? Immeasurable.

2) Taking them for granted

It’s a slippery slope, one that I found myself sliding down without even realizing it. Life gets busy, routines become, well, routine, and somewhere along the line, we forget to appreciate the incredible person by our side. 

I remember this one evening, clear as day. My partner had cooked dinner, something they didn’t particularly enjoy but knew I loved. And what did I do? I barely acknowledged it. Ate, said a quick “thanks,” and went back to work.

It wasn’t until later, lying in bed in the silence of the night, that it hit me. They didn’t have to do that; they chose to, out of love. And I had brushed it off like it was nothing. 

That was a wake-up call for me. I realized taking them for granted was not just a bad habit; it was a barrier to making them feel deeply loved.

From that day on, I made a conscious effort to show appreciation for the big things, sure, but especially for the small ones. 

A heartfelt thank you, a surprise note just to say “I see you and everything you do,” or simply taking a moment to really acknowledge their efforts. It transformed our relationship in ways I couldn’t have imagined. 

Sometimes, it’s the smallest acts of appreciation that fill the heart the most.

3) Failing to make time

This one hits close to home for me, and it’s a story I’m not proud of but learned a valuable lesson from. 

I used to pride myself on being a multitasker, always juggling multiple tasks at once. My calendar was a mosaic of meetings, projects, and social commitments. 

In my quest to do it all, I failed to see that the most important person was getting the least of me—my partner.

It was during an ordinary evening when the reality of my neglect came crashing down. We were supposed to have a date night, something we hadn’t done in weeks, maybe months. 

Work ran late, as usual, and by the time I got home, my partner was asleep on the couch, waiting for me. The disappointment was palpable, not in what they said (because they didn’t say much) but in the heavy silence that followed.

That moment was a turning point. I realized that by not making time for us, I was sending a clear message about my priorities—and love wasn’t at the top. It’s not about grand gestures or extravagant dates; it’s about showing up, being present, and cherishing the moments we have together.

Since then, I’ve made it a point to carve out “us” time in my schedule. It could be something as simple as a coffee together in the morning or an evening walk. 

These moments have become our sanctuary, a way to reconnect and remind each other that above all else, we choose each other. Making time isn’t just about finding gaps in your schedule; it’s about creating space in your life for love to flourish.

4) Overlooking the power of encouragement

In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it’s all too easy to forget the impact our words can have. I learned this lesson in a particularly humbling way. 

My partner was embarking on a new venture, something they were incredibly passionate about but also filled with self-doubt. Amid my own stresses and distractions, I failed to offer the encouragement and support they desperately needed. 

It wasn’t until I saw them wrestling with their confidence, questioning their path, that I realized my silence had been louder than I ever intended.

Reflecting on this, I recognized that encouragement doesn’t just lift spirits; it can lift someone’s entire belief in themselves. 

So, I started making a conscious effort to be my partner’s biggest cheerleader. Whether it was celebrating small victories or offering words of encouragement during setbacks, I made sure they knew I believed in them unconditionally.

The transformation was profound. Not only did their confidence grow, but our relationship deepened in ways I hadn’t anticipated. 

We became more intertwined in each other’s successes and challenges, standing shoulder to shoulder against whatever came our way. Encouragement became our secret weapon, a source of strength and love that bound us closer together.

Through this experience, I learned that love is not just about being there in times of need; it’s about actively lifting each other up, every day. 

Encouragement is a testament to believing in your partner’s dreams as much as they do—a true manifestation of deep love.

5) Forgetting to cultivate shared interests

Early in our relationship, my partner and I realized we both had a love for the night sky. Neither of us were astronomers, but there was something about gazing at the stars that brought us closer together.

One evening, while wrapped in blankets and lost in the constellations, we stumbled upon the story of the Pleiades, also known as the Seven Sisters star cluster. According to lore, these stars are said to represent unity and togetherness. 

This sparked a tradition for us; every year, we’d find a new spot under the night sky to continue our celestial exploration.

This shared interest became more than just a hobby; it taught us that finding common ground and nurturing those interests together isn’t just about having fun; it’s about building something unique and meaningful that belongs solely to us.

Through this journey, we discovered that shared passions offer a deep sense of connection and understanding between partners. 

They become your own little world, a sanctuary from the chaos of daily life where you can truly be yourselves together. Cultivating these interests lays down roots that help love grow in rich and unexpected ways.

6) Neglecting self-improvement

There was a phase in my relationship where I found myself at a standstill. While I was pouring energy into our connection, I had unknowingly put my own growth on the back burner. 

It wasn’t until my partner gently pointed out that I seemed “lost” in my own ambitions that I took a hard look at myself. I realized that by not investing in my personal development, I wasn’t just doing myself a disservice; I was also hindering the potential of our relationship.

Inspired by this revelation, I embarked on a journey of self-improvement. I revisited old hobbies that once ignited my passion, signed up for courses to enhance my skills, and dedicated time to self-reflection. 

The transformation was palpable. As I grew more fulfilled individually, our relationship flourished. We found new depths to explore, conversations became richer, and our connection deepened. 

This personal evolution taught me that love is not just about two people moving in parallel; it’s about growing together, pushing each other to be the best versions of ourselves.

The importance of two people moving forward together is well made by Justin Brown in his video exploring the law of attraction and relationships below.

7) Failing to communicate openly

There was a time when fear held my voice captive, fear of vulnerability, fear of conflict. It was a silence that built walls between us, walls that seemed insurmountable.

The breakthrough came when I realized that love is not just about sharing the parts of ourselves that are easy to love; it’s about trusting our partner with the parts that aren’t.

By choosing to communicate openly, we chose to dismantle those walls brick by brick. It wasn’t easy. It required patience, understanding, and a willingness to listen—not just with the intent to reply, but with the intent to understand.

This journey taught me that open communication is the lifeblood of love. It’s what transforms love from a mere feeling into an unshakeable bond. It’s not always about finding the right words; sometimes, it’s simply about having the courage to say them out loud.

In the end, this openness becomes the greatest declaration of love we can offer—inviting our partner into our inner world and embarking on a journey of true connection together.

The journey forward

If any of the habits mentioned have resonated with you, it’s a sign that your intentions to make your partner feel deeply loved are pure, yet perhaps slightly misdirected.

But here’s the uplifting part – recognizing these habits is the first step toward fostering a more profound connection with your partner.

Embracing change isn’t easy, but the beauty of relationships is that they are ever-evolving. With self-awareness and a genuine desire to grow, you can turn these potential stumbling blocks into stepping stones for a deeper bond.

Begin by reflecting on how these habits show up in your relationship. Observe the moments when you might be inadvertently pushing your partner away instead of pulling them closer. Each observation is an opportunity for growth.

Transformation won’t happen in the blink of an eye. It’s a journey, one that requires patience, commitment, and above all, compassion for both yourself and your partner.

As you embark on this path, celebrate each step forward, no matter how small. Support each other through the changes and challenges. 

And remember, the goal isn’t perfection but progress towards a relationship where both partners feel deeply understood, appreciated, and unequivocally loved.

So take heart. With each effort to say goodbye to these habits, you’re not just saying farewell to old patterns; you’re welcoming a new depth of love and connection into your life.

Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase, a New York City native, writes about the complexities of modern life and relationships. Her articles draw from her experiences navigating the vibrant and diverse social landscape of the city. Isabella’s insights are about finding harmony in the chaos and building strong, authentic connections in a fast-paced world.

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