If you want to stop attracting the wrong people, say goodbye to these 7 behaviors

Attracting the right people isn’t about changing yourself—it’s about letting go of behaviors that might be keeping you from connecting with the right crowd.

You might not even realize it, but there could be certain things you’re doing that unintentionally push away the people you really want in your life.

But don’t worry—I’ve got your back. As a relationship expert and the founder of Love Connection, I’m here to help. In this article, we’ll explore seven behaviors you need to say goodbye to if you’re serious about drawing in the right kind of people.

So, let’s dive in and start making some positive changes in your life!

1) People pleasing

We’re all guilty of it from time to time. The urge to conform, to make everyone happy, to avoid any kind of social conflict or disapproval. It’s a trait that’s been ingrained in us from an early age.

But when it comes to relationships, being a people pleaser can attract the wrong kind of people into your life.

Why? Because people pleasers are often seen as easy targets by those who wish to take advantage of others. They know that you’ll go above and beyond to keep the peace and avoid confrontation, even if it means sacrificing your own needs and wants.

It’s time to say goodbye to this behavior. Start asserting your own needs and establishing boundaries. This is not selfish, it’s about respecting yourself enough to know that your feelings and desires matter too.

2) Being too available

Okay, this one may seem counterintuitive, but hear me out.

There’s a fine line between being accessible and being overly available. Being there for someone when they need you is a good thing. But being available to the point of neglecting your own needs and boundaries? Not so much.

The hard truth is, that when you’re always within reach, people may start taking you for granted. It can inadvertently send out a message that your time isn’t valuable or that you’re always ready to drop everything for them.

As tough as it may be, it’s time to get comfortable with the idea of not being always available. It’s not about playing hard to get or being aloof, but about respecting your own time and space.

This behavior change can help weed out those who are just around for their own convenience, leaving room for people who truly value you and your time.

3) Neglecting self-care

In the pursuit of love and acceptance, we often forget about the most crucial person in our lives: ourselves. Trust me, neglecting self-care can inadvertently draw in the wrong kind of people.

When we overlook our own well-being, it sends a message that we don’t value ourselves or believe we’re deserving of love and care. Surprisingly, others pick up on these signals. If you’re not treating yourself kindly, you’re more likely to attract individuals who don’t treat you well either.

So, it’s time to make self-care a priority. Set aside time for yourself, engage in activities that bring you joy, and tend to your physical and mental health. After all, loving yourself sets the standard for how others should treat you.

I’ve seen so many people transform their relationships just by starting to care for themselves more. I talk about this in depth in my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

Remember, self-care isn’t selfish, it’s a necessity. Start treating yourself with the love and respect you deserve and watch how it changes the kind of people you attract.

4) Ignoring red flags

We’ve all been there: meeting someone new, swept up in the thrill, and brushing off those nagging doubts.

But as Charles Dickens once said, “Never close your lips to those whom you have opened your heart.” In other words, don’t ignore your gut feelings or the warning signs that something isn’t right.

Trust me, ignoring red flags doesn’t make them vanish. If anything, it sets the stage for even bigger issues down the road.

Hence, don’t let the excitement of a new relationship blind you to potential problems. Pay attention to how they treat others, how they handle disagreements, and whether they respect your boundaries.

Remember, acknowledging red flags isn’t about being negative—it’s about valuing yourself enough to recognize when someone isn’t treating you right. Trust yourself, and don’t settle for anything less than you deserve.

5) Overlooking your own values

I’ll admit, I’ve been there too. In the past, I’ve found myself compromising my own values just to fit into someone else’s world. But trust me, it’s a slippery slope.

When we sacrifice our values to please others, we’re essentially betraying ourselves. Sadly, this often leads us to attract people who don’t truly align with who we are or what we stand for.

So, it’s time to stand firm for your values. What truly matters to you in life? What are your deal-breakers? Clarifying these can help you draw in people who genuinely respect and share your values.

Remember, you don’t have to change who you are to find love. The right people will cherish and honor you for staying true to yourself.

6) Fear of being alone

There’s a quote by Oscar Wilde that I hold close to my heart, “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance”. This couldn’t be truer when it comes to attracting the right people.

In my younger years, I often found myself in relationships simply because I dreaded the idea of being alone. But all that did was draw in people who weren’t the right fit for me.

The fear of solitude can lead us to settle for relationships that don’t meet our standards. But it’s crucial to realize that being alone isn’t a negative thing. In fact, it can be a beautiful opportunity to explore ourselves and evolve as individuals.

So, don’t let the fear of solitude push you into the wrong relationships. Embrace your time alone and view it as a chance to nurture self-love and self-respect. Only then will you naturally attract the kind of people who align with your true self.

For more relationship advice and insights, feel free to follow me on Facebook. I share my latest articles there, and I’d love to connect with you!

7) Lack of self-worth

This one’s tough to hear, but it’s a truth we can’t ignore: if you don’t value yourself, you’ll attract people who don’t value you either.

I’ve witnessed this pattern in my own life and in the lives of many others. When we don’t believe we deserve love, respect, and kindness, we end up settling for less. We draw in people who treat us the way we subconsciously believe we deserve to be treated.

It’s time to prioritize your self-worth. Believe that you are deserving of love and respect. Validate your own feelings and stand up for yourself when necessary.

Keep in mind, how you treat yourself sets the standard for how others will treat you. So, start treating yourself with kindness and respect, and you’ll naturally attract people who do the same.

Embracing self-love and growth

Finding the right people in life is all about self-discovery and growth. It’s about spotting patterns, shedding old habits, and embracing new ways that truly reflect who we are.

Change isn’t easy—it can feel awkward and uncertain at first. But that discomfort? It’s a sure sign you’re leaving your comfort zone for growth.

In my experience, those who dive into this journey, no matter how tough, emerge stronger and happier. They draw in people who respect, value, and love them for who they are.

And hey! Check out this video by Justin Brown—it hits home on what we’ve talked about. He shares his journey and wise insights on shared values, growth, and finding the right partner.

Remember, you’re not alone on this journey. Change takes time. Be patient with yourself and remember to celebrate every small victory along the way. You’re doing great!

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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