If you want to stop attracting low-quality people, say goodbye to these 7 subtle behaviors

Are you feeling fed up with constantly attracting the wrong crowd into your life? It might be high time to zoom in on some of those subtle habits that could be giving off the wrong vibes.

In this article, we’ll dive into seven common behaviors that could be unintentionally drawing in folks who don’t have your best interests at heart.

From being a chronic people-pleaser to engaging in negative self-talk, these habits might be holding you back from forging genuine connections with the kind of folks you truly deserve.

If you’re ready to break free from those toxic patterns and usher in more positivity, it’s time to bid farewell to these sneaky yet significant behaviors.

1) Always being the ‘yes’ person

We’ve all been there. The friend who needs a last-minute favor, the coworker who always asks for help but never reciprocates, the relative who takes advantage of your generosity. And you, being the kind-hearted individual you are, always say ‘yes’.

Saying ‘yes’ to everyone and everything isn’t just exhausting—it’s also a green light for low-quality people to enter and remain in your life. These individuals thrive on your agreeability and willingness to put their needs above your own.

Don’t get me wrong, helping others is a beautiful thing. But there’s a fine line between being generous and being taken advantage of.

If you’re constantly bending over backwards for others without receiving the same level of respect in return, it may be time to reconsider your ‘yes’ habit.

Start setting boundaries. Learn to say ‘no’ when necessary. It might be challenging at first, especially if you’re a natural people-pleaser. But trust me, it’s worth it.

2) Over-apologizing

“I’m sorry, but…” Ever catch yourself starting sentences like this without even realizing it? It’s a common habit, but here’s the thing: over-apologizing can actually draw in folks who might not have your best interests at heart.

Now, don’t get me wrong—apologies have their place. They’re essential for patching things up after slip-ups or misunderstandings. But when ‘sorry’ becomes your default response, even when it’s not warranted, you’re sending the message that you’re always in the wrong or somehow inferior to others.

And trust me, that can make you an easy mark for those who like to dominate or manipulate. Instead of apologizing, try expressing gratitude. Swap out “I’m sorry for being late” for “Thank you for waiting for me.”

It’s a small tweak, but it packs a punch. Not only does it amp up your self-esteem, but it also shifts the way people see you. 

3) Seeking validation from others

We all like to be liked. It’s human nature. But when your self-worth hinges on the approval of others, it can attract people who use this need for validation to their advantage.

In my journey as a relationship expert, I’ve seen how this pattern can lead to unhealthy relationships, both personal and professional. And, let’s be honest, I’ve been there myself. It’s a tough habit to break, but it’s absolutely necessary for attracting high-quality people into your life.

You see, when you constantly seek validation from others, you’re giving them the power to define your worth. The truth is, your worth should come from within. Not from what others think of you.

If you’re struggling with this, I’ve covered some practical strategies on how to overcome this in my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

But here’s a tip to get you started: start by acknowledging your accomplishments, no matter how small. Celebrate your wins. This builds self-confidence and reduces the need for external validation.

Start taking control of your self-esteem today and see the difference in the people you attract.

4) Playing down your achievements

Have you ever found yourself downplaying your achievements, maybe to appear humble or not make others feel uncomfortable? Yeah, been there, done that. And guess what? It’s way more common than you might think.

But here’s the thing: this kind of self-deprecating behavior can actually draw in folks who don’t truly value your accomplishments or who might even take advantage of your modesty. It’s like constantly dimming your own light, making it easier for others to overshadow you.

There’s this quote I absolutely love from Marianne Williamson: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”

Let that sink in for a sec. Your achievements? They’re something to be proud of, and anyone worth having in your life will be right there celebrating them with you.

So, next time you smash a goal or do something awesome, no matter how big or small, own it. Acknowledge the hard work you put in. Because you’re allowed to be proud of yourself.

5) Over-sharing personal information too soon

In today’s social media-driven world, oversharing has become somewhat of a cultural norm. There’s this constant pressure to lay bare every aspect of our lives, often even in the early stages of new relationships.

I’ll admit, I’ve been guilty of this myself in the past. I used to think that by divulging everything about myself upfront, it would automatically create a deeper bond. But boy, was I wrong.

Sharing too much too soon can actually attract folks who might not have the best intentions. They could exploit your vulnerabilities or use your openness to their advantage, manipulating situations for their own gain.

It’s crucial to realize that trust is something that should be earned, not just handed out like candy. Take your time to really get to know someone before you spill all the beans. That doesn’t mean you should be secretive or deceptive, but rather, be mindful of the pace at which you reveal personal details.

6) Ignoring your intuition

We all have that inner voice, that gut feeling that nudges us when something doesn’t feel right. But how often do we really listen to it?

Earlier in my career, I had a tendency to ignore my intuition, especially when it came to relationships. I would dismiss it as overthinking or fear. But over time, I’ve learned that this intuition is one of the most powerful tools we have in attracting high-quality people into our lives.

Albert Einstein once said, “The only real valuable thing is intuition.” And he was right. It’s our internal compass, guiding us towards what’s good for us and steering us away from what’s not.

Start listening to that inner voice and you’ll find yourself surrounded by people who align with your values and add positivity to your life.

For more insights and advice on relationships, don’t forget to follow me on my Facebook page. You’ll get my latest articles right in your feed!

7) Avoiding confrontation at all costs

Let’s get real for a moment. Confrontation is nobody’s favorite thing. It’s messy, uncomfortable, and can drain you emotionally. But here’s the thing: dodging confrontation like it’s a plague can actually bring some not-so-great people into your life.

Folks who steer clear of confrontation often find themselves putting up with stuff they really shouldn’t. They let things slide just to keep the peace, allowing others to stomp all over their boundaries without facing any consequences.

And you know who loves that? Manipulative folks. They see your aversion to confrontation as a green light to do whatever they please because they know you’re not likely to call them out.

Now, I’m not saying you should go all out and start picking fights left and right. But standing up for yourself when needed is absolutely crucial, even if it means diving into some seriously awkward conversations.

When you stand your ground, you’re setting a standard for how you expect to be treated. And guess what? That scares off the low-quality crowd and attracts those who actually respect and value your boundaries.

Upgrade your behaviors, attract high-quality people

Just as we’ve explored how subtle behaviors can attract low-quality people into our lives, it’s equally important to recognize that saying goodbye to these behaviors isn’t an overnight process. It takes time, patience, and a good deal of self-awareness.

As I’ve shared from my personal experiences and those of countless others I’ve worked with, the journey towards attracting high-quality people starts with you. It begins by treating yourself with the respect and dignity you deserve and setting the bar for how others should treat you.

The wise Maya Angelou once said, “We teach people how to treat us.” And there’s profound truth in that. So, remember, it’s okay to stand up for yourself, it’s okay to set boundaries, and it’s more than okay to prioritize your own happiness and well-being.

To delve deeper into some of these concepts and explore how they can be applied in real-life scenarios, I recommend watching this insightful video by Justin Brown.

It offers a fresh perspective on understanding the importance of shared values and the significance of growth and mutual support in a relationship:

Remember, it’s never too late to start making positive changes in your life. Here’s to attracting high-quality people who respect and value you for who you truly are!

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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