If you want to start living life with less fear and anxiety, say goodbye to these 7 behaviors

For years, fear and anxiety ruled my life.

I lived in a constant state of unease, trapped by endless “what ifs” and “maybes,” letting my worries make decisions for me.

But here’s what I’ve discovered: fear and anxiety aren’t just emotions that happen to us—they’re often fueled by the habits and patterns we cling to without realizing it.

When I started examining what was keeping me stuck, I uncovered a truth that changed everything. Letting go of certain behaviors wasn’t just freeing—it completely transformed how I approached life.

In this article, I’m sharing the 7 behaviors I had to release to stop living in fear and start embracing life with open arms.

If you’ve felt weighed down by anxiety or held back by fear, this could be the breakthrough you’ve been waiting for.

1) Overthinking

This was the first behavior I had to kick to the curb. Overthinking was my constant companion and one of the biggest contributors to my anxiety.

Overthinking made me second-guess every decision, kept me up at night with ‘what ifs’, and filled my days with unnecessary worry. It took me out of the moment and into a world of fear and doubt.

A simple technique helped me tackle this habit. Every time I caught myself overthinking, I would stop and ask myself: “Is this thought helpful? Is it productive?”

More often than not, the answer was no.

The realization that I was wasting so much time and energy on unproductive thoughts was a game-changer. It gave me the motivation to redirect my thoughts towards something more constructive.

Over time, this simple practice helped me break free from the chains of overthinking.

It’s not an overnight fix, but with patience and persistence, it can help you reclaim your peace of mind.

2) Avoiding discomfort

Another behavior that contributed to my fear and anxiety was avoiding discomfort. I would go out of my way to stay in my comfort zone, even if it meant missing out on experiences or opportunities.

For example, I remember turning down an invitation to speak at a local event because the thought of public speaking filled me with dread. The fear of possible embarrassment or judgement kept me stuck in my safe bubble.

But the truth is, discomfort is a part of life. Avoiding it only amplifies our fears and anxiety.

So, I started facing my fears head-on, one small step at a time. I began accepting speaking engagements, starting with small, informal groups before gradually moving onto larger audiences.

Each time I faced my fear instead of avoiding it, I felt more empowered and less anxious.

Sure, it was uncomfortable and scary at times, but it also led to personal growth and increased confidence.

3) Seeking validation

I used to be a people-pleaser, seeking validation from others for every little thing.

Whether it was my work, my appearance, or my life choices, I constantly needed others’ approval to feel good about myself.

Take my job, for example. I was stuck in a role I didn’t love because it was what my family and friends thought was a ‘good job’. I was more concerned about their opinions than my own happiness.

But living for others’ approval is a surefire way to feed your fears and anxiety. You end up walking on eggshells, constantly worrying about disappointing others or not living up to their expectations.

One day, I decided that enough was enough.

I quit my job and started pursuing my passion for psychology and writing. It wasn’t easy, and there were many bumps along the road, but it felt liberating to finally live life on my own terms.

The shift from seeking external validation to trusting my own judgement reduced my anxiety significantly.

So my advice to you is this – stop seeking validation from others. Trust yourself. Make your own choices and live your life the way you want to. It’s your journey, after all.

4) Neglecting self-care

I used to think that self-care was a luxury, something to be indulged in only when I had the time or money. I’d work long hours, skip meals, and forego exercise and sleep just to keep up with my busy schedule.

But neglecting self-care only heightened my anxiety.

I was constantly tired, stressed, and on edge. My physical health took a hit, and my mental health wasn’t faring much better.

And this isn’t just my personal experience. Studies have found that neglecting self-care activities like regular exercise, adequate sleep, and healthy eating can increase stress and anxiety levels.

So I started prioritizing self-care.

I made time for regular exercise, ensured I was getting enough sleep, and started eating healthier. This wasn’t just good for my physical health but also worked wonders for reducing my anxiety.

5) Dwelling on the past

Living in the past was another behavior I had to let go of. I used to replay past mistakes and regrets over and over in my head, constantly beating myself up about things I couldn’t change.

I remember a particular business venture that didn’t work out. For months, I was consumed with thoughts of what I could’ve done differently, how I could’ve avoided the failure.

But all this did was keep me stuck in a loop of regret and self-blame, feeding my anxiety and preventing me from moving forward.

So, I made a conscious effort to stop dwelling on the past and start focusing on the present and future.

Sure, I made mistakes, but they were learning experiences, not life sentences. I started using my past as a stepping stone for growth, not a reason for self-condemnation.

Remember, you can’t change the past, but you can control how you respond to it. So let go of past mistakes and regrets. Learn from them and move forward. 

6) Perfectionism

Perfectionism was a big part of my life. I believed that if I wasn’t perfect, I was failing.

I would spend hours fine-tuning a project or obsessing over the smallest details, trying to make everything flawless.

For instance, when I started Hack Spirit, I would often spend days perfecting a single article. The fear of making a mistake or facing criticism was overwhelming.

But as psychologist Brené Brown says, “Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgement, and shame.”

And she’s right. Perfectionism didn’t make me successful; it made me stressed and anxious.

So, I started practicing self-compassion and accepting that mistakes are a part of life. I began to understand that it’s okay to be less than perfect and that flaws can lead to growth and improvement.

Letting go of perfectionism was liberating and significantly reduced my anxiety levels.

So if you’re a perfectionist, remember that it’s okay not to be perfect. Embrace your flaws and learn from your mistakes; they’re what make you human.

7) Avoiding alone time

For the longest time, I thought that being alone would make me more anxious. So I would fill my schedule with social activities, work, and anything else that would keep me busy and distracted.

But constantly being around people and noise left me feeling drained and even more anxious.

Surprisingly, it was solitude that provided the relief I was seeking.

Spending time alone allowed me to reflect, recharge and get in touch with my thoughts and feelings. It gave me a sense of peace and calm that I couldn’t find in the hustle and bustle of everyday life.

I started by setting aside just 10 minutes a day for solitude.

Whether it was taking a walk alone, meditating, or simply sitting in silence, this ‘me’ time became a sanctuary from my fears and anxieties.

So if you’re feeling overwhelmed, give solitude a try. 

Conclusion

By saying goodbye to these 7 behaviors, I found a version of myself I didn’t know existed—someone who could face uncertainty with courage, live with more joy, and finally breathe easier.

You can too. It starts with small, intentional steps. Recognize the patterns that keep you stuck, let them go, and give yourself permission to move forward.

Your life doesn’t have to be dominated by fear and anxiety. You’re capable of so much more than you realize—go out and prove it to yourself.