If you want to increase your value as a person, say goodbye to these 7 behaviors

Have you ever wondered what really makes someone stand out—not in a flashy, look-at-me way, but in a way that draws genuine respect and admiration?

It’s not about how much money you make or how many Instagram followers you have. It’s about the kind of energy you bring into the room and the way people feel when they’re around you.

The truth is, your value as a person isn’t set in stone. It’s shaped by the choices you make, the habits you keep, and—just as importantly—the behaviors you choose to leave behind.

So, if you’re ready to level up and create a lasting impact in your relationships, career, and personal growth, it might be time to take a closer look at the habits that could be holding you back.

Let’s dive in.

1) Complaining regularly

One of the first things that turns people off is constant complaining.

We all know someone who seems to find the negative in every situation. Don’t be that person. Constant complaining doesn’t just bring down your mood; it affects those around you too.

The opposite is true as well — positivity is also contagious.

People love being around someone who uplifts them, motivates them and generally makes life more enjoyable. That’s the kind of person whose value is deemed high in society.

So if you tend to complain a lot, it’s time to say goodbye to this habit. Instead, try focusing on the positive side of things, and watch how this small change can make a big impact.

2) Procrastinating

I think we’ve all been guilty of procrastination at one point or another. I know I certainly have. There was a time when I’d put off tasks until the very last minute, always thinking “I’ll do it later”.

But here’s the thing: later often becomes never.

In my case, I found that procrastination was holding me back from reaching my full potential. It was creating stress, reducing productivity, and certainly not adding to my value as a person.

One day, I decided enough was enough. I started setting deadlines for myself and sticking to them. I began breaking large tasks into smaller, more manageable ones.

And let me tell you, the difference was as clear as night and day.

By saying goodbye to procrastination, not only did my productivity increase but so did my value as a person. People noticed the change and slowly came to see me as a reliable person. My reputation improved and so did my self-esteem.

So if you’re a chronic procrastinator like I once was, consider this your wakeup call. Start taking action today and increase your value as a person.

3) Being judgmental

In a world as diverse as ours, it’s easy to fall into the trap of making quick judgments about people based on their appearances, beliefs, or behaviors.

Sometimes, it feels automatic—like your brain is trying to categorize everything neatly into boxes.

But here’s the thing: being judgmental doesn’t make you smarter, stronger, or more perceptive.

It actually creates distance between you and others, cutting off opportunities to understand perspectives that could broaden your own.

When you judge someone, you’re often projecting your insecurities or biases onto them. Maybe you’ve caught yourself thinking, Why does she dress like that? or He’s so out of touch with reality.

These thoughts might feel harmless, but they silently shape how you treat people and limit the depth of your relationships.

What if you swapped judgment with curiosity? Ask yourself, What’s their story? What can I learn from them?

By practicing openness, you’ll not only increase your value as a person but also build stronger, more meaningful connections.

4) Living with a big ego

In the Buddhist tradition, living with a big ego is considered a hindrance to personal growth and enlightenment.

Having a big ego often means being self-centered and not considering others’ feelings or perspectives. It can lead to conflict, misunderstandings, and a lack of personal growth.

In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego“, I explore the Buddhist teachings that encourage us to let go of our egoistic ways and embrace humility and compassion.

Saying goodbye to a big ego doesn’t mean losing your sense of self or becoming a pushover. It’s simply about recognizing that we are all connected and that every person has value.

So if you’re interested in increasing your value as a person, consider taking some time to understand how your ego might be standing in your way. You might find that letting it go is the best thing you can do for yourself and those around you.

5) Avoiding tough conversations

There was a time when confrontation was my worst enemy. I’d do anything to dodge a tough conversation—downplay my feelings, sugarcoat my words, or simply sweep the issue under the rug.

I convinced myself that avoiding these moments was the “kind” thing to do, sparing others from discomfort.

But the truth is, I wasn’t being kind; I was being avoidant. I wasn’t honest, not with others and certainly not with myself.

Over time, I realized that sidestepping tough conversations only led to unresolved tension and confusion.

People can’t read your mind, and without clear communication, misunderstandings grow like weeds.

Facing difficult topics doesn’t have to mean conflict—it’s about expressing your truth with respect and intention. When you’re willing to have those uncomfortable talks, you show integrity and care for your relationships.

And let’s be real: nothing of real value comes without a little courage. By embracing these moments, you’ll find that they’re not as scary as they seem—and you’ll grow stronger and more valued in the process.

6) Always trying to please others

This might seem counter-intuitive, but constantly trying to please others can actually decrease your value as a person.

When you’re always bending over backwards to make others happy, you risk losing your sense of self. You might start neglecting your own needs and preferences, and this can lead to resentment and burnout.

Furthermore, people respect those who respect themselves. That means:

• Setting boundaries
• Saying no when necessary
• Prioritizing your own wellbeing

So remember, while it’s great to be helpful and considerate, it’s equally important to take care of yourself. Say goodbye to the need to please everyone and focus on pleasing the most important person in your life – you.

7) Not valuing yourself

Finally, the most important behavior to say goodbye to is not valuing yourself. If you don’t value yourself, you can’t expect others to do so.

It’s not about being arrogant or thinking you’re better than anyone else—it’s about recognizing your worth and treating yourself accordingly.

When you downplay your skills, overlook your achievements, or tolerate disrespect, you send a message to the world that you don’t see your own value.

And unfortunately, the world often reflects that back to you.

Valuing yourself means setting boundaries, acknowledging your strengths, and making choices that align with your self-worth. It’s about saying no to things that drain you and yes to things that help you grow.

Think of it this way: you’re the one person who’s going to be with you for your entire life. If you can’t honor and appreciate yourself, who will?

Start showing up for yourself in small ways every day, and watch how your confidence grows and how others begin to see you in a different light.

Value starts within, and when you embrace that, it radiates outward.

Final thoughts

In the end, increasing your value as a person isn’t about grand gestures or overnight transformations.

It’s about taking a closer look at the habits and behaviors you’ve been holding onto and asking yourself some honest questions: Are these truly serving me? Are they helping me grow, connect, and thrive? Or is it time to let them go and make space for something better?

In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego“, I delve deeper into this journey of personal growth. I share insights and practices that can help you navigate this path with grace and resilience.

But for now, take that first step. Reflect, recalibrate, and start saying goodbye to the things that no longer serve you. Because the most valuable version of yourself is waiting—right on the other side.