Teeth too crooked, belly too big, legs too thin, hair too flat…
Do you always have something to hate about your body?
Do you feel ugly, weak, or never attractive enough?
Well, you’re definitely not alone.
Almost all of us have experienced this at one point or another. Luckily, you can get more confident by getting rid of some seemingly harmless traits.
Say goodbye to these behaviors if you want to feel more confident in your body.
1) Comparing yourself to others
Comparing your physique, your skin, your hair, your jawline to others might seem harmless if done from time to time.
Heck, everyone does it!
But if it’s become a daily habit, it could definitely erode your self-esteem so that you start to lose confidence in yourself.
And if you compare yourself to celebrities, oh my! You’re bound to feel ugly that you’d just lock yourself in your bedroom all day long.
Many people often forget that it takes an entire army of stylists, makeup artists, designers, lighting designers, not to mention all the numerous treatments to make them look like ‘stars.’
It’s simply too unrealistic.
If you’re feeling trapped in celebrity envy, I encourage you to learn techniques on how to stop putting others on a pedestal.
And of course, to practice self-love and self-appreciation more often.
2) Following too many beauty and fitness influencers
When subscribing to a channel or page, make sure you’re not subscribing to toxic beauty standards!
But even regular beauty channels can be toxic if you’re exposed to them long-term.
Sure, a 10-second video about having clear skin might seem harmless—heck, it could even be useful!
But if you consume these types of content daily for YEARS…then you can’t help but put too much importance on how you look.
This habit is bound to make you a bit more superficial.
Why?
Because their message is clear: You’re not good enough.
Remember that self-love is the best thing to have even for the worst days– not more makeup and bling.
3) Being a conformist
There was a Tiktok trend of people getting veneers. They shaved their perfectly fine teeth because “wearing veneers is cool.”
Of course, dentists would later say that this is a foolish thing to do and people who did it risk losing their teeth early.
Why are we like this?
Many people act like sheep. In order to be “cool,” they follow whatever the “cool people” are doing just to feel like they belong to an elusive and exclusive club.
And if they don’t? Well they start to lose confidence in themselves.
If you want to be more confident, you’ve gotta unsubscribe to the idea that there’s only one way to look beautiful.
Most of all, you gotta learn how to question society—to rebel against it even.
Even when the trends and norms keep trying to tell you that you don’t look beautiful, know that you are perfect as you are.
4) Checking yourself in the mirror every minute
How often do you check yourself in the mirror?
If you do it a lot, then you’ll become more and more self-conscious, which could make you less confident in your body!
During the pandemic, there was one point where I checked myself in the mirror 50+ times during the day.
Crazy, right?
I noticed every skin blemish, that I have fat around my belly, that my hair is so dry.
I bought plenty of supplements and skincare products to improve myself…but that made things worse because I constantly checked for any sign of improvement.
And even if there were some improvements, I wanted MORE!
When I reached my lowest low, I hid all my mirrors. Yep, not a single mirror in the house!
And you know what? My obsession went away in just two weeks.
And as weeks passed, I realized that it’s all in my head—that not only did I look okay, I actually look great!
Lesson? Our minds can play tricks on us when we focus too much on our looks to the point of obsession.
If you have a bad habit of constantly checking yourself in the mirror, get rid of it to stop feeding the beast that says “You’re not good enough!”
5) Hanging out with superficial people
No matter how much you tell yourself, “I’m sexy and beautiful,” if you’re around people who care so much about looks, you’re bound to get less confident about your body.
They will always have something to say about how you look.
“Eww, your skin is so greasy”
Or “Your haircut makes you look fat!”
If you interact with them daily—say, they’re your mother or colleague—then their words and way of thinking would get into your head.
Unless you’re mentally strong, you could start to be critical of your body, too.
6) Striving for perfection
Have you turned yourself into a project?
Do you have goals like “I will lose 10lbs in 10 days.” or “I will be the fittest among my friends before this year ends”?
Then you will certainly find something to fix (and hate) about your body.
There’s a reason why people call themselves beauty “junkies,” and a part of it is the awareness that it can become an unhealthy obsession.
While striving to be better is awesome, what isn’t is when you strive to be the best…to be perfect, to be the greatest, and to be adored by ALL!
This will make you eternally discontent with how you look.
After you lose that weight? The high dissipates and now you need a six-pack as a next goal.
After you lose your skin blemishes? You’re now obsessed about wrinkles and looking at botox.
I used to work in fashion, and working with models who always found something to improve on their bodies and faces was a lesson I never forgot.
If you never learn to love and appreciate your body, no matter what you do, it will never be good enough.
7) Wanting validation
Do you always want to be adored?
Do you need people to tell you you’re beautiful?
Do you want them to say “You’re so fit!” and “Wow, you have the body of Beyonce”?
And if you don’t hear any of these praises for a while, do you start to feel ugly?
Then of course, you won’t feel confident in your body!
You’d always need a supply of praise just to keep feeling good about yourself, and this isn’t sustainable at all!
Needing validation will also make you prone to being abused and manipulated. Not only that, it will make you prone to co-dependent relationships with your friends or partner.
You have to learn how to validate and affirm yourself and your own worth.
Fill yourself up from within, and then other people’s praise will just be the cherry on top.
8) Being judgmental of others
Do you roll your eyes when you see a fat person on the street because you think they’re simply lazy?
Do you cringe when you see someone in a “bad” outfit?
Nine times out of ten, you’re also hard on yourself.
It’s just inevitable.
You’ve developed a habit of searching for “flaws” and of course, you’ll look for flaws in yourself, too.
Remember that being too critical is totally unhealthy, not to mention you can end up being too shallow.
So what if that woman’s outfit is so terrible? They could be an amazing mom and lawyer for poor communities and they deliberately wear simple clothes to not alienate their clients.
The solution?
Try to train yourself to look beyond looks.
When you’re with someone new, ask “What’s unique about this person’s character?” and appreciate them for it.
This will in turn make you more appreciative and gentle on yourself.
9) Focusing on how your body looks instead of how it functions
Our bodies, first and foremost, are meant to function.
Sure, we can express our identities through our bodies— with our tattoos, our sense of fashion, our make-up—but this is just secondary.
The body’s main role is to work—to keep us alive and healthy.
Yes, it’s nice to have smooth legs, but our legs are for movement. We should remember that.
Yes, toned abs look great, but the function of your organs are far more important.
Never forget to appreciate your body for all the things you’re able to do because of it.
At the end of the day, what matters is how healthy you are, and not just how you look.
If we learn to reprogram our minds about our bodies, then we’ll be more confident and happy with what we have.
Final thoughts:
The thing is, feeling more confident in your body is primarily an inside job.
If you think you’ll be confident once you lose weight, you might be disappointed even if you lost 20 lbs if you’re not prioritizing the innerwork it takes to develop your self-esteem.
Whether it’s a diet or exercise program, you have to do everything from a space of self-love, rather than hate.
If you’re exercising because you love yourself and you want to be stronger, it’s going to be far more beneficial for your well-being than hating your fat tummy for looking ugly.
So if you feel like to be confident you have to lose more weight or start a 20-step skincare routine, say goodbye to these behaviors instead.