Jelena Dincic
So, you’ve decided to break free from this toxic trait?
Good for you!
Because the thing about negativity is that it’s heavy.
Not only does it make people think twice about hanging out with you – because let’s face it, it’s a downer – but it’s also quite a burden to be carrying around.
Breaking free from negativity may be a bit of a challenge, but once you do, you’ll feel so much lighter and people will start to enjoy being around you.
To help you get started, I’ve made up a list of 10 things you need to stop complaining about.
Let’s get started:
1) The weather
Now, most of us are guilty of complaining about the weather every now and again, I certainly am. It’s one of my go-to topics when I’m making small talk with the neighbors.
But the problem is that if you’re a very negative person, then the weather is just one of the kazillion things you complain about, and it’s annoying!
Look at it this way: it’s pointless to get upset over the weather because it’s not something you can control.
You can, however, dress accordingly.
- If it’s cold, dress warmly with many layers.
- If it’s raining, wear a raincoat or carry an umbrella.
- And if it’s hot and sunny, dress lightly, put on sunscreen, wear a hat, and don’t forget your sunglasses.
In short: Adapt and make the best of it.
2) Your ailments
To be clear, I don’t mean that you should keep quiet about being sick!
What I’m talking about is complaining about every negative sensation you feel.
Like my aunt for example, I’m pretty sure she’s a hypochondriac.
To hear her speak for the first time you’d think she was dying – from sore joints to headaches to high blood pressure, she’s got it all.
But the truth is there’s not much physically wrong with her. She’s just too focused on all the bad stuff.
So if you want to break from negativity, stop telling everyone about your sinuses and the tingling sensation in your pinkie-toe, and instead, focus on how good you actually have it.
3) Things that are in the past
This is another thing my aunt does.
She holds grudges for way too long!
I mean, I keep hearing about the same old stuff over and over again, and a lot of it goes back to her childhood.
And do you know who suffers the most?
Not me, I just have to listen.
It’s her. Every time she brings up something bad that happened in the past she gets worked up about it and relives every injustice over and over again.
Don’t be like my aunt, learn to let go of the past and to forgive.
4) Your weight
You need to stop obsessing over a number on a scale and shift your focus on living a healthy lifestyle.
Sure, you may need to lose or gain some weight, but the most important thing is to be healthy. So:
- Make sure you get 8 hours of sleep each night.
- Drink at least two liters of water each day.
- Avoid sugar and processed foods.
- Don’t forget to eat a lot of veggies.
- Get active – walk, run, cycle, swim – whatever works for you.
And if you don’t want to make any lifestyle changes, don’t expect anything to change on the scale either.
5) Your job
If you want to be a more positive person, then you need to stop complaining about your job all the time.
I mean, some people are unemployed and freaking out about how they’re gonna pay the bills. Then you come along and bit** about your boss or the boring stuff they have you doing…
If it’s really that bad, instead of complaining, do something about it: Update your résumé and start applying for a new job.
6) Relationships
Look, I get it, your parents, siblings, friends, or significant other could be driving you insane.
But what good does it do to constantly complain about your relationships to others?
Does complaining fix anything?
No, it doesn’t.
I mean, you could ask for advice, but you still have to do something about the problem.
You need to talk to the person you have a problem with.
Be open and honest and tell them how you feel and how you would like things to change.
Set some boundaries and work on resolving conflicts.
Got it?
7) Traffic
Nobody likes being stuck in traffic, what makes you so special?
Why would you go on and on about it?
If you have the option of ditching your car and using public transport or riding your bike, do it!
If not, then plan your routes and commute times more efficiently.
And to make things interesting, get some audiobooks or podcasts to listen to.
Being stuck in traffic doesn’t have to be time wasted, you know.
8) Social media and online forums
The internet has revolutionized and facilitated the way we live our lives.
But at the same time, it has a lot of negative aspects that are bad for our mental health.
The truth is that there are a lot of crazy and mean people out there and they just love to use social media and online forums to express their crazy ideas and offend people.
I get why you’d want to complain about it but there’s not much you can do about it other than to take a step back.
Don’t get involved in online discussions unless you’re ready to hear some crazy.
Limit your time on social media platforms and cultivate a more positive online experience.
9) Government or politics
They’re driving you insane, I get it. Me too.
But what good does constantly talking about it do?
The truth is that you’ve got two options:
- First, you can stop following current events and what’s going on in politics
- Second, you can actually get involved in civic activities and advocate for positive change.
It’s up to you, but if you wanna break free from negativity, you definitely need to stop complaining.
10) Noise
Noisy neighbors can be quite annoying, especially when they keep you from sleeping at night.
I used to get so worked up about a neighbor who’d turn up the volume on his TV and fall asleep.
His TV would keep blasting through the night!
I couldn’t sleep and I got so stressed about how unjust all this was. Needless to say, I kept complaining to my friends about it, spreading negativity.
Finally, I decided to do something about it. I went to talk to my neighbor and kindly asked him to turn down the volume at night.
Another thing I could have done is gotten earplugs for sleeping.
All in all, noise can be annoying so we either need to learn to live with it or do something about it.
Tips on embracing positivity
Now that you know how to stop being so negative, here are some things you can do to help you become more positive!
1) Practice gratitude
When things don’t go according to plan, it’s so easy to focus on the bad stuff in your life and forget all the good things you’ve got going for you.
That’s why you should start practicing gratitude.
Each day, take a few minutes to acknowledge and appreciate the positive aspects of your life.
It can be anything no matter how big or small:
- Family and friends who love you
- Having a roof over your head
- Your amazing fluffy dogs
- Chocolate
- Walks on the beach
You can even keep a gratitude journal to remind yourself of the good things in your life.
2) Mindfulness meditation
A lot of the time the things we’re negative about are in the past.
That’s why mindfulness can help you be more positive, by helping you live in the present.
Trust me, it will reduce your stress and help you manage negative thoughts more effectively.
3) Surround yourself with positivity
If you’re surrounded by depressed people who’ve lost the will to live, it’s no wonder you’re having a hard time breaking free from negativity.
One of the best ways to become more positive is to hang around supportive and positive people who uplift your spirits.
Avoid toxic people and relationships.
4) Challenge negative thoughts
Negative thoughts are just that – thoughts.
And a lot of the time our negative thoughts are things we make up because of fear and insecurity.
So, the next time you catch yourself thinking negatively, challenge those thoughts by looking for evidence to the contrary.
Ask yourself, “Is she really ignoring me because she doesn’t want to be my friend anymore, or could she have a lot on her plate right now?”
5) Learn from failure
Finally, a great way to start being more positive is to change the way you see failure.
When you fail at something, instead of getting upset about it and thinking it’s “the end of the world”, look at it as a learning opportunity.
I mean, it’s pretty darn hard for anyone to get things right the first time around.
Failing gives us a chance to learn something new and do better in the future.
Now, isn’t that a good thing?
