If you want to be truly confident within yourself, say goodbye to these 7 habits

My mom always said, “Confidence is not something you’re born with, it’s something you build.”

There’s no denying it, confidence is attractive. It’s a quality that can pave the way for success in various aspects of life, from career to relationships. But here’s the catch – truly feeling confident can sometimes feel like a herculean task.

Ever wondered why?

Well, it could be down to certain habits that you have. Habits that are doing more harm than good, chipping away at your self-esteem without you even realizing it.

Intrigued? You should be.

If you’re sitting there thinking, “How can I be truly confident within myself?” then it’s time to say goodbye to these seven habits. Trust me, once you recognize and ditch them, you’ll be on a fast track to embracing your inner confidence.

This is not about changing who you are. It’s about letting go of the things that are holding you back from being the best version of yourself.

So, are you ready to take the first step towards a more confident you? Let’s dive right in.

1) Overthinking

We’ve all been there.

Lying awake at night, replaying conversations in our head, worrying about the future, or dwelling on past mistakes. Overthinking is a surefire way to whittle down your self-confidence.


Because overthinking often leads to negative thinking. You create scenarios in your mind that may never happen. This can cause unnecessary stress and anxiety, preventing you from taking action and thus feeding into your insecurities.

The truth is, everyone makes mistakes and no one has all the answers. The key is to learn from these experiences and move forward.

Confidence comes from action, not from overanalyzing every little detail. Next time you find yourself stuck in a loop of negative thoughts, take a deep breath, remind yourself that it’s okay not to be perfect, and focus on what you can do right now in the present moment.

Letting go of overthinking can be liberating and is often the first step towards building true self-confidence.

2) Seeking validation from others

I’ve been there, done that.

For the longest time, I found myself constantly seeking approval from others. Whether it was my choice of clothes, my career decisions, or even my hobbies, I always needed someone else’s stamp of approval.

But here’s what I learned.

Relying on others’ opinions to define your self-worth can be a slippery slope. It hampers your ability to trust your own judgment and can leave you feeling unfulfilled and insecure.

Here’s an example. I once took up a job because everyone around me thought it was the “right” thing to do. Even though I had my doubts, I went ahead with their advice. Needless to say, it didn’t work out as expected and left me questioning my own ability to make decisions.

That experience taught me a valuable lesson – your path is yours alone, and it’s okay to trust your instincts and make your own choices. While it’s great to have advice and guidance, at the end of the day, you need to be the one driving your life.

True confidence comes from within, not from the approval of others. So don’t be afraid to trust yourself and make decisions that align with your values and aspirations.

3) Neglecting self-care

Let me share something personal.

There was a time when my life resembled a never-ending to-do list. Work, family, social obligations – I was juggling it all, with no time left for myself. I thought this was what it meant to be successful and productive.

Soon enough, burnout hit me like a ton of bricks. I was exhausted, both physically and mentally. My self-esteem took a nosedive, and my confidence was nowhere in sight.

That’s when I realized the importance of self-care.

It’s not just about bubble baths and spa days (though those can be great too!). Self-care is about taking time to nourish your mind, body, and soul. Setting boundaries and saying no when needed. Treating yourself with kindness and respect.

I started setting aside some ‘me’ time each day – even if it was just 15 minutes to read a book or take a walk outside. This small change had a big impact on my overall well-being and confidence.

When we take care of ourselves, we send ourselves a powerful message – we matter. And that’s an incredible confidence booster.

Start by making self-care a priority. Trust me, your future self will thank you for it.

4) Comparing yourself to others

Ah, the comparison trap.

It’s incredibly easy to fall into, especially in this age of social media where everyone’s life seems picture-perfect. But here’s the thing – comparing yourself to others is like a thief that steals your joy and confidence.

The truth is, we’re all on our own unique journey, with our own set of strengths and challenges. What you see on the surface is just a tiny fraction of someone’s life. You’re not seeing their struggles, insecurities or the hard work they’ve put in behind the scenes.

So instead of comparing, start celebrating. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small it may seem. Celebrate your strengths and what makes you unique.

The moment you start focusing on your own growth and stop comparing yourself to others, you’ll start to see a significant boost in your self-confidence.

Life isn’t a competition. It’s a personal journey. So run your own race at your own pace.

5) Dwelling on past failures

Did you know that Thomas Edison, the man who invented the light bulb, failed more than 1,000 times before finally succeeding?

Now imagine if he had let his past failures define him. We’d probably still be in the dark!

Failure is a part of life, it’s how we learn and grow. But dwelling on past failures, ruminating over what went wrong, and beating yourself up about it isn’t healthy or productive.

Instead, try to see each failure as a stepping stone towards success. It’s an opportunity to learn something new, to improve, and to become stronger.

Past failures don’t define you or your worth. You’re not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or even a day ago. You’re constantly growing and evolving.

6) Fearing judgment

I used to be terrified of public speaking. The mere thought of standing up in front of a crowd would make my palms sweat and my heart race. I was scared of being judged, of making a mistake, of not being good enough.

But then I realized something.

Everyone is too busy dealing with their own lives to spend all their time judging mine. And even if they did, their opinions didn’t define my worth or abilities.

So I started taking small steps. I volunteered for presentations at work, joined a local speaking club, and practiced in front of friends and family. It wasn’t easy, but each step helped me gradually overcome my fear and build my confidence.

The fear of judgment can be a significant barrier to confidence. But remember, most judgments come from people who don’t fully understand your journey or your struggles.

Don’t let the fear of others’ opinions hold you back from being your true self and reaching your full potential. You are more than capable and deserving of achieving whatever you set your mind to.

7) Not embracing your uniqueness

We’re all unique, and that’s what makes us special.

Every one of us has a different combination of talents, skills, passions, and experiences. That’s something to be celebrated, not hidden away.

When you embrace your uniqueness and let your true self shine, you radiate authenticity. And there’s nothing more attractive and confidence-boosting than being unapologetically yourself.

So don’t try to fit into someone else’s mold. Be proud of who you are and what you bring to the table. Your uniqueness is your superpower.

Confidence is about acknowledging your potential, embracing your flaws, and believing that you’re enough just as you are. It’s about being comfortable in your own skin and owning your individuality.

Embracing the journey

If you’ve found yourself nodding along to these habits, there’s no need to worry. We all have patterns that don’t serve us well – it’s part of being human.

Self-growth is not a destination but a journey.

Start by acknowledging these habits. Pay attention to when you’re overthinking, seeking validation, or fearing judgment. Notice when you’re comparing yourself to others, dwelling on past failures, neglecting self-care, or not embracing your uniqueness.

Each time you catch yourself falling into these habits, take a moment. Ask yourself – “Is this serving me well?” or “How can I approach this differently?”

Change doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time and patience. But each small step is a step towards becoming a more confident version of yourself.

As the great Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Confidence comes from within you, not from outside opinions or validation.

So take charge of your journey. Embrace your uniqueness. Remember that it’s okay to make mistakes and learn from them. Prioritize self-care.

And most importantly, be kind to yourself along the way.

You’re on your way to becoming the best version of yourself, and that’s something truly worth celebrating.

Mia Zhang

Mia Zhang blends Eastern and Western perspectives in her approach to self-improvement. Her writing explores the intersection of cultural identity and personal growth. Mia encourages readers to embrace their unique backgrounds as a source of strength and inspiration in their life journeys.

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