Mia Zhang
Age comes with wisdom, or so they say. But sometimes, there are certain behaviors that can hinder our journey to gaining that respect we all crave as we age.
Getting older is inevitable, but the way we handle it – the behaviors we hold on to and those we let go – can make a huge difference in how others perceive us.
Being respected as you age isn’t about becoming someone else. It’s about refining and maturing our behaviors to reflect the wisdom and experience we’ve gained over the years.
To achieve this, there are nine particular behaviors you might want to consider saying goodbye to. Here’s a heads up on what they are.
1) Being inflexible
As we age, it’s easy to get stuck in our ways. It can be comforting to stick to what we know and avoid change.
But here’s the thing – rigidity often breeds disrespect. Why? Because the world is constantly evolving, and so are the people in it.
When you remain inflexible, it sends a message that you’re unwilling to understand and adapt to new perspectives or circumstances. That’s not a trait that earns respect.
If you want to be seen as a wise elder and not just an old person, it’s important to be open-minded and adaptable.
Embrace change, learn new things, and show that you’re willing to grow along with the world. That’s how you earn respect as you age.
2) Not listening
There was a time when I thought I knew everything. I’d talk over people, cutting them off mid-sentence, convinced that my viewpoint was the only one that mattered.
But with age, I realized that this behavior was not only disrespectful, but it also closed me off to learning and understanding others. This realization dawned on me during a conversation with my little niece. She was sharing her excitement about a new hobby, but instead of listening, I found myself interrupting her to share my own experiences.
Later, it struck me how I had missed an opportunity to connect with her, to understand her better, and to learn something new. I realized then that listening is a skill that needs practice, and it’s crucial for earning respect.
From that day on, I made a conscious effort to really listen when people talk. Not just waiting for my turn to speak, but genuinely trying to understand their perspective.
And trust me, people notice and appreciate when you truly listen to them. It shows them that you value their opinions, and in turn, they start respecting you more.
3) Acting judgmental
We all have our own viewpoints and beliefs, shaped by our experiences and upbringing. But imposing these beliefs on others or judging them based on our own standards is not a behavior that garners respect.
Consider this – a study in the Journal of Personality and Individual Differences revealed that non-judgmental individuals experience lower levels of anxiety and grumpiness.
And guess what? They gain more respect.
When we judge others, we create barriers and hinder open communication. People may feel hesitant to share their thoughts or feelings with us, fearing our judgment.
On the other hand, being accepting and understanding fosters a sense of trust and respect. It shows that we value diversity and respect individuality.
4) Holding grudges
It’s human nature to feel hurt when someone wrongs us. But holding on to past offenses does more harm than good. It robs us of peace and can even impact our health negatively.
As we age, it becomes even more important to let go of grudges. Not only does it show maturity, but it also projects an image of someone who values relationships over past disagreements.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning the wrong done to us. It simply means choosing not to let past hurts control our present and future.
5) Being overly critical
Nobody’s perfect. We all have our flaws and make mistakes. But constantly criticizing others for their shortcomings doesn’t make us superior or them inferior.
Being overly critical can push people away and often leads to resentment. It can make others feel like they have to walk on eggshells around you, which isn’t conducive to a healthy and respectful relationship.
On the other hand, constructive criticism, when delivered tactfully, can be helpful. It shows that you care enough to help someone improve.
6) Neglecting self-care
As we age, it’s easy to get caught up in taking care of our loved ones. But sometimes, in the midst of all this, we forget to take care of ourselves.
The truth is, when we neglect our own needs and wellbeing, it sends a message that we don’t value ourselves. And if we don’t respect ourselves, how can we expect others to?
Taking care of your physical health, emotional wellbeing, and personal interests isn’t selfish. It’s necessary.
When you prioritize self-care, you’re not only setting a positive example for those around you but also showing them that you hold yourself in high regard.
7) Avoiding apologies
I’ve always found it difficult to say “I’m sorry.” For the longest time, I associated it with weakness, with admitting that I was wrong. But as I got older, I realized that apologizing when you’ve made a mistake doesn’t make you weak; it makes you strong.
Avoiding apologies can make us appear stubborn and proud, traits that aren’t usually associated with respect. On the other hand, being able to admit when we’re wrong and apologize sincerely shows humility, maturity, and strength.
Apologizing doesn’t always mean that you were wrong, and the other person was right. It just means that you value your relationship more than your ego.
8) Being dismissive
Everyone wants to feel heard and understood. But when we dismiss others’ feelings or opinions, we undermine their worth and make them feel insignificant.
Being dismissive can be as simple as interrupting someone while they’re speaking or as complex as belittling their feelings or experiences. Either way, it’s a behavior that can damage relationships and erode respect.
Instead, try to be more empathetic and understanding. Show genuine interest in what others have to say and validate their feelings, even if you don’t agree with them.
9) Avoiding personal growth
The journey of life is all about growth and evolution. But sometimes, as we age, we begin to resist this growth, choosing comfort and familiarity over the uncertainty of change.
The truth is, personal growth is a lifelong process. It’s about continually learning, evolving, and striving to be the best version of ourselves.
Avoiding personal growth can lead to stagnation, both personally and in the eyes of others. But embracing it shows that you’re open-minded, adaptable, and willing to learn – qualities that command respect.
Final thoughts: It’s about respect
At its core, the quest for respect is deeply intertwined with our intrinsic need for recognition and affirmation.
Researchers found that feeling respected and valued by others leads to long-term happiness and well-being.
As we grow older, this quest for respect takes on a deeper dimension. It’s no longer about accolades or achievements; it’s about the legacy we leave behind, the relationships we’ve nurtured, and the lives we’ve touched.
The behaviors we’ve discussed here – from being open-minded to embracing personal growth – are not just about being respected as we age. They’re about becoming a person of character, someone who is admired for their wisdom, kindness, and integrity.
