If you want to be more feminine, say goodbye to these 5 behaviors

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One thing is true: 

We all have masculine and feminine energy within us, regardless of gender identity or gender roles that vary across cultures, societies, and timelines.

In ancient philosophies, feminine energy is the ‘yin’, while masculine energy is the ‘yang’. This can also be viewed as the ‘left’ or ‘logical’ brain, and the ‘right’ or ‘creative’ brain. 

The main thing is, they are both necessary to make up a whole. 

Personally, although I am a woman, I’ve spent most of my life in a masculine state until the last five years. 

I had to learn to surrender my lifelong attachment to discipline and control, and surrender to my feminine intuition in order to find peace, healing, and the blossoming of my creativity. 

But being more feminine isn’t just for ladies – it’s also for men who have been pushing themselves too hard and just want to experience softness and calmness in life too.

And there’s nothing wrong with experiencing that. In fact, I believe it’s one of the best things you can do for yourself. 

So if you are someone who wants to be more feminine, you can learn how by saying goodbye to these 5 behaviors:

1) Avoiding your emotions 

As a whole, more masculine people naturally tend to be more rational and logical rather than emotional and intuitive. 

This can often come with shutting off, suppressing, or ignoring one’s emotions. 

In worse cases, emotions can even be shameful to some people. 

If you want to embrace more femininity, consider embracing your emotions as a powerful way to nurture and expand your intuition, self-care, and self-compassion. 

By allowing yourself to really feel the emotions going through you, and giving them permission to exist, you create a connection to the wisdom of knowing and accepting yourself. 

You will also develop an ability to empathize with others more deeply. 

This is also useful to expand a capacity to truly care for others, which is often considered a beautiful feminine trait. 

Emotions are a language of the heart, and when we allow ourselves to feel and express them, we tap into a wellspring of feminine essence. 

What do we get out of this?

Emotional intelligence, warmth, and a more authentic connection with ourselves and the world beyond. 

2) Trying to control everything

You might notice that when we think of masculine energy, we think of discipline, control, and continually striving to ‘do’ things. 

When we think of femininity, we often think of receptivity, flexibility, going with the flow, and feeling. 

The desire for control is a common human trait, but trying to control every aspect of your life and the lives of those around you can be exhausting and counterproductive. 

And guess what?

Even if it’s with the good intentions of trying to provide for others. 

To be more feminine, try to let go of the need to micromanage and control everything.
When you embrace the beauty of life’s natural rhythms, you may find that the things you desire will unfold naturally. 

Yes, you still need to tick things off the to-do list – we all do as adults!

But if you can try to find time for yourself to explore creativity, to relax, and generally practice having more trust in life, you will eventually transform the stress that’s often attached when it comes to time for doing those things.

Therefore, this doesn’t mean abandoning your responsibilities or goals; it means finding a balance between planning and allowing room for spontaneity.

You might be surprised by the outcome! 

3) Expressing things bluntly 

While honesty is a virtue, being excessively blunt or direct in your communication can come across as abrasive. 

And ‘blunt’ doesn’t have to mean hostile – it can also just be cold, logical or lacking in emotion. 

You see:
When we are in a feminine state, we become more conscious of our words and actions and how they make others feel. 

This isn’t just about acting a certain way to appear more feminine. True femininity simply comes with a greater emotional awareness.

So to cultivate a more feminine aura, you can practice the art of tactful communication.

By choosing your words carefully, you are letting your message shine, which increases the chances of it being received negatively when it’s received as abrupt, harsh, or cold. 

A feminine, emotionally intelligent person understands that people listen best when they feel heard and considered.

Therefore they are able to deliver constructive criticism with kindness and empathy for the best outcome on both sides. 

4) Overanalyzing things

Analysis and over-analysis is generally a masculine trait. 

This has been taken out of context by media at times, to imply that being feminine equals ‘not thinking’ or playing dumb. 

But it goes much, much deeper than that. 

Intelligence is not only thanks to the left-brain. Creativity, intuition, and wisdom all come from the right brain!

Emotional intelligence is intelligence, but it’s not as widely acknowledged in a male-dominant world.

So if we drop the tendency to over-analyze, we also drop the stress, anxiety, and unease that comes with it – and that a lot of ‘masculine’ people experience on a daily basis.

Instead, we can embrace a more intuitive approach to decision-making and problem-solving. 

Because in my experience, a gut feeling can provide valuable insights that rational analysis might overlook. 

The gut instinct is there for a reason. It puts together all of the information that your rational brain is taking ages to process, into one single ‘feeling’ that hits you. 

So try to be in the present moment and practice going with the flow to cultivate this internal connection to your inner wisdom.

5) Defaulting to anger when you’re upset

Because the masculine energy isn’t as well-versed in dealing with emotions, it can often process negative emotions as anger. 

This is one of the behaviors to avoid if you want to be more feminine.

While it’s natural to experience anger from time to time, constantly allowing anger to be your default emotional response is detrimental to your overall well-being and your relationships.

It also shows a lack of emotional intelligence and awareness. 

Instead, try to cultivate this awareness by embracing your feelings, practicing empathy for others, and open communication. 

The end goal is to express your feelings calmly and respectfully. 

Practice active listening, and strive to find solutions through compromise rather than confrontation. 

This approach not only allows you to connect more deeply with others but also helps you maintain your own inner peace.

Final thoughts

Think of it like this:

While no behaviors are inherently masculine or feminine, the ones mentioned in this article are the generalized byproducts of a more masculine mindset. 

The real key to embracing your femininity is to cultivate your self-awareness, emotional literacy, embrace creativity, and to let go of behaviors that no longer serve you. 

By consciously working to avoid defaulting to anger, relinquishing control, practicing tactful communication, and easing up on overanalysis, you can cultivate a more harmonious and graceful version of yourself.

Surrender to the beauty of balance, intuition, and empathy, and you’ll find that your journey towards embracing femininity is a fulfilling and transformative one.

Shela Riva

Shela Riva is a Thai-Swiss freelance writer, artist, energy mentor and co-creator of Jaiyen Eco Resort, a creative retreat space in Thailand. She is deeply passionate about our incredible ability to transform and is dedicated to helping each person realize the power within themselves, whether through her writing, empowering custom art pieces, one-on-one work or in-person retreats.

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