Being single can be a fantastic, liberating time in your life – if you let it.
But here’s the catch, sometimes we can be our own worst enemies, sabotaging our own happiness with negative habits and thought patterns.
So, if you’re single and constantly finding yourself unhappy with the situation, it may be time to take a closer look at what you’re doing that’s standing in the way of your joy.
I’m here to help you identify what might be holding you back and give you some practical ways to flip the script. So read on and start embracing your singlehood!
1) Stop comparing yourself to others
There’s a destructive habit that many of us fall into, especially in the age of social media, and that’s comparing ourselves to others.
It’s so easy to look at our friends, family, or even strangers online who are in relationships and start to feel like we are missing out on something. This is a one-way ticket to feeling miserable.
The reality is that everyone’s journey is different. There is no right or wrong when it comes to being in a relationship or being single. Both have their own unique advantages and challenges.
If you want to be happy single, the first step is to stop comparing your situation to others. Instead, focus on what makes you happy and fulfilled as an individual.
2) Stop waiting for a relationship to be happy
I remember a time in my life when I was single and always thought, “I’ll be happy when I’m in a relationship.” It was as if my happiness was on hold, waiting for that special someone to come along and make everything perfect.
But here’s what I realized: Pinning your happiness on the arrival of a relationship is both unfair and unhealthy. It places a huge amount of pressure on a future partner and it delays your happiness.
Once I started focusing on my own happiness, outside of a relationship context, everything changed. I started doing things that I loved – painting, hiking, reading those books I’d always been meaning to read. I made a point to spend quality time with myself and learned to enjoy my own company.
The transformation was incredible. I found myself happier, more content, and more at peace with being single than ever before. And the best part? This newfound self-contentment and joy doesn’t disappear when you enter into a relationship – it only enhances it.
3) Stop neglecting your friendships
Did you know, according to a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, people who have strong friendships are happier, regardless of whether they are in a relationship or not?
Often when we’re single, it’s easy to overlook the importance of maintaining strong friendships. We might even get caught up in the pursuit of a romantic relationship and neglect our friends.
But here’s the thing, friends offer support, companionship, and a sense of belonging that can be incredibly fulfilling. They can also provide a different perspective, help us through tough times, and add fun and enjoyment to our lives.
Instead of neglecting your friendships while you’re single (or even when you’re not), nurture them. Spend time with your friends, make memories together, have deep conversations. You might just find that these relationships are just as fulfilling and contribute significantly to your happiness.
4) Stop overthinking
We all have a tendency to overthink things from time to time, and when you’re single this can often mean analyzing past relationships or worrying about future ones.
But the truth is, overthinking only leads to stress, anxiety, and unhappiness. It keeps us stuck in the past or anxious about the future, rather than allowing us to enjoy the present moment.
So instead of spending endless hours replaying old conversations in your head or imagining scenarios of future relationships, try to focus on the here and now. Practice mindfulness, engage in activities you enjoy, and remember that it’s okay to be single.
You don’t need to have everything figured out right now. Sometimes, the best approach is simply to take things one day at a time.
5) Stop ignoring your passions
Being single is the perfect time to rediscover old hobbies, explore new interests, and dive into your passions. Yet, often we can get so caught up in our single status that we forget to pursue the activities we love.
Being single doesn’t define you. Your passions, interests, dreams, and goals do. So rather than focusing on your relationship status, why not invest your energy into doing what you love?
Whether it’s painting, traveling, writing, cooking, or any other activity that sets your heart on fire – go for it! Not only will this bring you happiness and fulfillment, it will also make you a more well-rounded person which is attractive to potential partners.
Go ahead and pick up that guitar you’ve been neglecting or sign up for that photography class you’ve always wanted to take. Life is too short to ignore your passions!
6) Stop being hard on yourself
Sometimes, being single can bring about feelings of self-doubt or insecurity. You might catch yourself wondering if there’s something wrong with you or why you’re still single while others are in relationships.
But hear this: Being single does not make you less valuable, less loveable, or less wonderful. It’s not a reflection of your worth.
It’s important to be gentle with yourself. To treat yourself with kindness and compassion, just like you would do for a friend. Take this time to practice self-love and self-care. Nurture your body, mind, and spirit.
Everyone is on their own unique journey. Being single is just a chapter in your life, not the whole book. And it’s a chapter that can be filled with growth, discovery and immense joy if you allow it to be.
7) Stop avoiding alone time
I used to dread being alone. I’d fill my time with unnecessary tasks, meet-ups, or simply scroll aimlessly on social media, just to avoid the silence of my own company.
But then I realized, avoiding alone time is like running away from yourself. It’s refusing to confront your own thoughts, feelings and emotions.
When I finally started spending time alone – truly alone – I discovered so much about myself. My likes, dislikes, passions, fears…everything that makes me who I am. It wasn’t always comfortable, but it was necessary and ultimately, liberating.
Alone time can be incredibly enriching. It provides the space for self-reflection and self-understanding. It allows you to become comfortable with your own presence, which is an invaluable skill to have.
If you’re always running from one social event to another, try slowing down a bit. Spend some time alone. Listen to your thoughts, acknowledge your feelings, and get to know yourself better. You might just find that you enjoy your own company more than you thought.
8) Stop fearing the future
Fear of the unknown can be paralyzing, and when you’re single, the future can seem very uncertain. Questions like “Will I ever find someone?” or “Will I be single forever?” can often cloud your mind.
But the truth is, no one knows what the future holds. Worrying about it won’t change anything, and it certainly won’t make you happy.
Instead of fearing the future, embrace the present. Celebrate where you are right now. The accomplishments you’ve made, the challenges you’ve overcome, the growth you’ve experienced – these are all things to be proud of.
The future is a mystery and that’s what makes life exciting. So rather than fearing it, look forward to it with optimism and open-mindedness. After all, life has a way of surprising us in the best possible ways when we least expect it.
9) Stop believing that single equals lonely
The biggest misconception out there is that being single automatically means you’re lonely. This couldn’t be further from the truth.
Yes, loneliness can occur in singledom, but it can also occur in relationships. Loneliness isn’t about whether you’re single or coupled up, it’s about feeling disconnected from others, and sometimes, from yourself.
Being single can actually be a wonderful opportunity to connect deeply with yourself and others in ways that are not solely dependent on a romantic relationship. It’s a time for self-discovery, self-love, and personal growth.
Final thoughts: Embrace your journey
At the core of it all, being single is a journey. A journey of self-discovery, self-love, and personal growth. It’s a time to explore who you are and what you want from life, outside of a partner.
The Pulitzer Prize-winning poet and novelist, Charles Bukowski once said, “I was a man who thrived on solitude; without it I was like another man without food or water. Each day without solitude weakened me. I took no pride in my solitude; but I was dependent on it.”
This quote captures beautifully the essence of embracing solitude and cherishing the power of being single.
It’s not about being alone or lonely, but about appreciating your own company and finding peace within yourself. It’s about recognizing that you are enough and that your happiness does not depend on another person.
So, as you navigate through your journey of being single, remember to stop doing these things we’ve discussed. Instead, focus on making the most out of your singlehood.
After all, being single is not a status, but a word that describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.
If you want some more advice on how to embrace being single, I recommend Justin Brown’s YouTube video below.