Eliza Hartley
We all crave happiness in life, don’t we?
But sometimes, it seems like an elusive dream. Especially when loneliness keeps creeping in, casting a shadow over everything.
You can be surrounded by people, yet still feel alone.
Does that ring a bell?
If it does, you are not the only one.
Loneliness is a universal feeling. But often, our behavior can unknowingly enhance this feeling of isolation.
I don’t mean to scare you off or make you feel worse. My aim is simply to help you recognize these behaviors and say goodbye to them.
So, shall we dive in?
1) Constantly comparing yourself to others
I remember a time when I would endlessly scroll through my social media feeds, looking at pictures of people on exotic vacations, attending fancy parties, or simply spending time with their loved ones.
It felt like everyone was leading a fantastic life, except me.
Then one day I realized that what I was seeing was just a fraction of their reality. This constant comparison was feeding my loneliness and making me unhappy.
If you find yourself doing the same, it’s time to stop. Understand that everyone has their own journey and struggles.
Focus on your own growth and happiness instead of comparing your life with others.
2) Isolating yourself
During my college years, I went through a phase where I chose to isolate myself because I felt lonely. I thought it was easier to be alone than to feel alone in a crowd. But it only worsened my loneliness.
Isolation might seem like an easy solution when you’re feeling lonely but trust me, it only amplifies the feeling.
Reach out to people, engage in social activities or join clubs that interest you. You’d be surprised how much of a difference it can make in your life.
3) Not practicing self-love
Did you know that the relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for all other relationships in your life?
When you constantly criticize and belittle yourself, it impacts your ability to form healthy relationships with others. It’s easy to feel lonely when you’re not comfortable in your own skin or when you don’t love yourself.
Start by practicing self-love. Appreciate yourself, celebrate your small victories and forgive yourself for your mistakes.
When you start treating yourself with love and respect, you’ll notice a shift in how others perceive and treat you too.
4) Overthinking
Overthinking can be a silent enemy. It’s like a spinning wheel in your mind, constantly generating worst-case scenarios and negative thoughts. Before you know it, you’re enveloped in a cloud of self-doubt and anxiety.
It’s natural to feel lonely when you’re stuck in such a whirlwind of thoughts, especially when you believe that no one else can understand what you’re going through.
But remember, it’s okay to ask for help and share your worries with someone you trust.
And if you don’t have someone to talk to right now, that’s okay too. Try to break the cycle of overthinking by focusing on the present moment, practicing mindfulness or even engaging in physical activities like walking or yoga.
It might not be easy, but it’s definitely worth a try.
5) Fearing rejection
I remember how it used to hold me back from reaching out to people, from making new connections. I had built up a wall around myself, convinced that it was safer to be alone than risk being hurt or rejected.
But over time, I realized that this fear was only adding to my loneliness.
It’s okay to be afraid of rejection, we all are at some point. But don’t let it stop you from forming meaningful relationships.
Everyone experiences rejection and it’s a part of life. Don’t let the fear of it confine you to a life of loneliness.
Take small steps, reach out and connect more. Yes, you might face rejection but remember, every ‘no’ brings you closer to a ‘yes’. And the joy of that ‘yes’ makes it all worth it.
6) Ignoring your passions
Life can become monotonous and lonely if you’re just passing days without any enthusiasm or passion. I used to be caught in a similar cycle – wake up, work, sleep, repeat. There was no time for what I truly loved doing.
But then, I made a conscious decision to make time for my passions. Whether it’s painting, writing, hiking or simply reading a book, doing what you love can bring immense joy and reduce feelings of loneliness.
So, if you’ve been ignoring your passions, it’s time to rekindle them. Start small if you have to, but do something you love every day.
7) Holding onto past hurts
When we hold onto past hurts, we’re essentially living in the past. We’re not allowing ourselves to move forward and form new relationships or enjoy the present moment.
I had a similar experience when an old friend betrayed my trust. I held onto that hurt for a long time, which led me to push people away out of fear of being hurt again.
It was only when I decided to let go of the past and forgive that I could truly move forward.
It’s not easy to let go of past hurts, but it’s necessary if you want to overcome feelings of loneliness and live a happier life.
8) Not seeking professional help
It’s important to remember that feeling constantly lonely and unhappy can be symptoms of underlying mental health issues like depression or anxiety. In such cases, seeking professional help is crucial.
For a long time, I was hesitant about seeking help as I believed that I could handle everything on my own. But the truth is, there’s no shame in reaching out to a professional.
If you’ve been feeling persistently lonely and it’s affecting your daily life, please consult a mental health professional.
9) Neglecting self-care
When we neglect self-care, our physical and emotional health suffers, which can lead to feelings of loneliness and unhappiness.
Remember to take care of yourself, both physically and emotionally. Exercise regularly, eat healthy, get enough sleep, meditate, and do things that make you feel good about yourself.
In conclusion, it’s okay to feel lonely sometimes. But if it becomes a constant feeling that’s bringing you down, it’s time to say goodbye to these behaviors.
Remember that change is a process that takes time, so be kind to yourself as you navigate through this journey. You’re not alone in this and there’s always help available if you need it.
