Amy Reed
Everyone has a different idea of what it means to find success in life.
But the thing everyone agrees on is that it’s good to be happy!
Happiness and success tend to go hand in hand. When you’re happy, you’re more likely to enjoy your career, eat better, and live a more rewarding life.
Certain habits fuel your happiness more than others, which, in turn, can fuel your success.
Just like certain habits can curb your success (and how you feel)…
Which means if you want to find genuine success in life, there are some behaviors you need to cut out. It won’t be easy, but it will lead you down a better path!
Here are the top 9 behaviors to quit and how.
Up first:
1) Letting fear rule your decisions
Fear about doing something can crop up all the time – sometimes very unexpectedly.
Even when I’ve thought about trying a new coffee shop, I have a bizarre fear that something will go wrong if I do!
A little bit of worry is a good thing sometimes. If I didn’t worry about where to park when going somewhere new, I’d probably end up in a bad situation when I arrived!
But you can’t let these worries rule your life and make all your decisions for you.
If I didn’t join the new gym because I didn’t know where to park, I wouldn’t feel strong, fit, and high on endorphins when I returned home.
If I didn’t go for a new job even though I didn’t know what it’d hold for me, I’d never have the opportunities to progress, learn, and meet new people.
It’s so easy to talk yourself out of doing new things because you feel afraid. But the truth is, it’s only going to hold you back from achieving your full potential.
2) Mismanaging your money
Money isn’t everything in life, but it’s still pretty important!
Unnecessary spending isn’t going to set you up nicely for what life holds for you. But saving too much isn’t the best thing, either!
Personally, I believe you need to strike a balance that works for you. I’ve been through times where all I did was save and I never spent any “unnecessary” cash.
But I missed out on tons of experiences because of it – and I’ll never get some of those opportunities back!
When I invested in myself, even in a nice outfit or a new experience, it benefited me in so many unexpected ways. I got the job, made a new friend, or learned something that stayed with me throughout my whole career.
Experts recommend spending 50% of your wages on bills and 30% on “wants”, with the remaining 20% going into savings.
But so long as you find a balance that works – spending some and saving some (by cutting out the true unnecessaries), you’re more likely to find success than if you don’t.
3) Clinging onto bad relationships
When you’ve known someone for a long time, or still care about them, cutting them out of your life isn’t an easy decision.
But if this person is truly bad for you or isn’t making you happy, it’s time to let go.
Friendships can turn toxic and relationships can run their course. Staying in them when you know you need to leave will (usually) only cause you more pain than good.
They can also hold you back from finding what’s really meant for you in this life. So even though it’s tough, sometimes the tough decisions have to be made.
4) Talking down to yourself
How many times have you told yourself that you aren’t good enough for something? That you aren’t pretty enough, smart enough, or fit enough?
Negative self-talk is one of the worst things you can engage in. But unfortunately, it comes naturally to a lot of people.
I know I’ve thought these thoughts and let them take over. When it came to choosing a university, career path, or even an outfit, I’ve talked myself out of it.
Experts say that thinking negatively can deeply damage your self-esteem. It can also bring you down and make it extremely hard to get back up again!
Negative self-talk is a tricky habit to kick, so it’s best to start small and work your way from there. Start by saying something nice to yourself at least once a day. Or challenge a few negative thoughts when you get them.
Over time, being kind to yourself can come more naturally than being critical.
5) Sacrificing “me” time
Think about the last time you spent time alone.
Maybe it was on your commute home. Or maybe it was when you had a night in on the couch. Maybe the last time you were alone was simply your morning shower.
Whenever it was, how did it go? How did you feel during and afterward?
Hopefully, it felt good – because time alone is one of the best things you can do for your physical and mental health.
Experts say it creates time for self-reflection and discovery. It also creates space for your body to physically relax – in a way it doesn’t around others.
Too much time alone isn’t good for anyone. But too little isn’t, either.
If you’re never alone by choice (because you keep yourself busy intentionally), try to kick that habit and experience “me” time every so often. It could lead you to think things you never thought of before…
6) Thinking great things are for other people (not you)
Have you ever thought something looked cool but never thought that you could actually do it yourself?
Like you saw someone on your Instagram run a marathon or try indoor climbing. Or you know someone who listens to audiobooks or learns to skydive.
Or even if you hear about someone restarting college or changing career paths entirely. But you never think that you could be “that person” who does these things.
You think that fun things are meant for other people, not you. When you feel this way, you might not have truly realized your full potential yet.
So the next time you see something that looks cool, don’t immediately dismiss it as something that you could never have.
Provided it isn’t totally impossible for you, it might be something you could also do one day.
7) Fuelling your trust issues
A ton of people in the modern world have trust issues – with 39% of the US saying they believe others can’t be trusted.
Young people are more likely to lack trust in others, too, according to these studies.
So all in all, trust issues are pretty common.
It’s easy to joke about your trust issues and laugh them off. I know many of my friends do – and I have, too, at many points in my life!
But it really isn’t good for our mental health.
It’s a lot easier to live your life not trusting others, letting everything that happens in the world fuel your trust issues. But challenging these thoughts will change your life.
It can open you up to new experiences and new opportunities. New relationships can form and you can feel a deeper sense of connection to the people in your life.
You may get hurt sometimes. You may feel the sting of rejection, too. But even these experiences can make you stronger, wiser, and more mature in the long run!
8) Pushing people away
Not everybody does this, but some people get into the habit of pushing people away when they’re feeling down (guilty!).
Experts say this is a common reaction when you’re feeling sad. In fear of being judged or shamed, you push people away when you need connection the most.
It’s an easy habit – and it’s one many people feel safe doing.
But sadly, it isn’t going to help you build relationships with others. It isn’t going to make you happy in the long run either.
9) Never blowing your own trumpet
It’s bad to talk about yourself all the time, right? All the time, yes. But sometimes? No!
Many of us are brought up to be humble and not brag. Which is, of course, a good thing. Humility is a positive and noble trait that can help you get ahead in life.
But too much of it can stump your success – especially in your career.
I learned the hard way that speaking up about your successes at work is the only way for people to see them.
You just have to be careful about how (and how often!) you shout about them. So pick your moments wisely and tell the world what you’ve achieved!
That way, your boss will actually see what you’re capable of (rather than maybe, possibly, someday hearing about it through the grapevine).
Final thoughts
Finding happiness in life really is the best way to find success. It can lead you to new experiences, new opportunities, and even new friendships.
Working on yourself and cutting out these behaviors isn’t easy. But even small steps can make a big difference to how you feel!
