If you want to be a classy woman, say goodbye to these 9 behaviors

A classy woman is one of a kind.

She’s someone whose confidence and elegance radiate through her behavior no matter where she is or with whom; someone who just seems to be effortlessly collected like a piece of a puzzle.

But what if I told you that classiness isn’t necessarily effortless at all? That classy women put in the work to be able to behave in the way they do?

Yep, it’s true!

Classiness isn’t something you are inherently born with – it’s a skill you can learn. So, if you want to be a classy woman, say goodbye to these 9 behaviors.

1) Putting no effort into your appearance

First impressions matter.

The moment someone lays eyes on you, their brain is already sorting you into different categories in their mind, subconsciously affecting that person’s behavior based on who they assume you are.

It’s therefore no wonder that the first rule of classiness is to look the part.

And no, you don’t need to wear expensive clothes or have three make-up bags full of cosmetics. While it doesn’t hurt to get some high-quality sustainable clothes and beauty products, classiness is about presenting a clean and elegant look.

And you can do that with a shirt and trousers from a second-hand shop. All you need is some sense of style.

Most of all, though, you should aim to keep yourself clean. Take good care of your nails, hair, and skin.

Getting a trench coat wouldn’t hurt, either. It’s one of the most elegant things a woman can wear.

2) Talking loudly about personal things in public

A reserved attitude is a huge sign of classiness. This doesn’t mean you should try to make yourself small and shy by any means – on the contrary, keeping your thoughts to yourself is very charismatic.

Instead of discussing your personal affairs on the subway or in a restaurant so loudly that everyone in the 5-mile radius can hear you, act discrete and respectful of your surroundings.

It shows that you’re not looking to impress anyone.

3) Speaking without thinking

While we’re on the topic of conversing, it’s important to mention that what you say matters even more than how loudly you say it.

Classy women don’t walk around saying whatever comes to their mind. They know that words carry weight and they choose them carefully – even if it means slowing down their speech.

In fact, speaking in a slow voice has been shown to signal attractiveness in women. If you relax your pace a little bit, you’ll have more time to think through your words and you’ll sound more attractive as a bonus!

4) Oversharing on social media

To summarize our two previous points, you can reach a higher level of classiness by not oversharing in public and by choosing what you say with great care.

Surprise, surprise – the same applies to the world of social media.

The most elegant thing you can do is to stop posting on there as much. Let people wonder about what you’ve been up to; let their imagination run wild.

Become a little bit of a mystery.

What you don’t show is often much more powerful than what you do.

5) Letting your emotions rule you

Do you know that feeling when you’re so angry you just want to use your words to hurt the other person as deeply as possible?

We’ve all been there. Anger is a powerful emotion – one that makes you do and say things you’ll later regret.

But if you want to be a classy woman, as well as a higher version of yourself, it’s time to learn how to stay in control of your emotions.

Don’t blow up easily, but don’t bottle your feelings down either. Instead, process them in healthy ways – go for a run, meditate, listen to music that supports your emotional state, and let yourself truly feel it. All of it.

This way, you’ll be able to show the world the calmest and classiest version of you while a lot of healing work takes place in the background.

6) Complaining all the time

A classy woman doesn’t complain when things aren’t going her way. Period.

She knows that there will inevitably be times when life gets tough. And she also knows she is strong enough to make it through.

Don’t fall prey to the victim mindset. The universe isn’t out to get you. 

Every obstacle is a challenge that helps you grow. Every time you hit rock bottom, you can only go up.

Classiness is about inner strength. Believe in yourself a little. You are more capable than you think.

7) Acting like a pick-me girl

Do you know what the classiest thing you can do is?

Root for other women.

Pick-me girls are the complete opposite of that. If you haven’t heard of the term before, it’s a woman who seeks male validation – often at the expense of other women.

Pick-me girls are “not like the others.” They are special because they “just get men.” They’ll make fun of other girls, choose hobbies and interests that make them seem cool in front of guys, and make sure they’re not “as demanding” to date.

Unfortunately, pick-me girls often lack confidence and self-love, which is why they create their personalities based on what they think men like.

Nothing could be further from classy.


Because classy women don’t chase male validation. They build a fulfilling life, and the men come as a result.

8) Prioritizing everyone’s needs but your own

You are the most important person in your life. Others will come and go, but you will live with yourself forever.

As such, it is absolutely vital that you take good care of yourself. When you feel fulfilled, energized, and comfortable in your own skin, classiness is only the cherry on top.

Learn to say no. Devote at least half an hour every day to your personal growth and self-care. Assert yourself a bit more.

You deserve to be heard. You deserve to have your needs met. You deserve anything you set your mind on. This belief is the very basis of classy behavior.

9) Depending on others too much

Finally, classy women know how to take care of themselves. This doesn’t necessarily mean that they need to be the main providers or that they even have to go to work – a housewife can be as classy as anyone.

Independence is more about knowing what you want and what you’d do if things didn’t work out. It’s about resourcefulness, flexibility, and emotional stability.

If something doesn’t go according to plan and you’re in completely new and uncertain circumstances, you know you’ll be okay because you are strong enough to deal with anything that life throws your way.

And in the end, that’s the most vital part of classiness: inner strength. The more grounded you are within yourself, the classier you’ll become.

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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