If you want to attract people without trying too hard, say goodbye to these 11 habits

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Hey there, folks! Ever wonder why some people seem to be friend magnets, while others just can’t seem to catch a break?

Believe it or not, the secret might just be in the small stuff – their habits.

And don’t worry, we’re not about to ask you to become someone you’re not. We’re just going to help you identify those little things that might be pushing people away.

So, let’s talk about the habits you need to say goodbye to if you want to attract people without even trying.

You might just learn something new!

1) Being overly critical

Let’s face it, nobody likes to hang out with a constant critic. If you’re always finding fault in others or in situations, it can create a negative atmosphere. 

People are naturally drawn to positivity. So, try to focus on the good stuff rather than the bad. 

Remember, nobody’s perfect – including you. Instead of criticizing, try understanding. 

2) Ignoring others’ feelings

Empathy is attractive. 

People love to feel heard and understood. If you’re in the habit of disregarding others’ feelings, you might be pushing people away without even realizing it. 

So, the next time someone shares their thoughts or emotions with you, take a moment. Really listen and try to understand where they’re coming from. Respond with kindness and empathy

You’ll find that this simple change can make a world of difference in your relationships.

3) Being a conversation hog

Ever find yourself dominating every conversation you’re in?

Well, I have, and let me tell you, it wasn’t doing me any favors. I’d get so excited about my own stories and ideas that I’d forget to let others have their turn.

One day, a good friend of mine called me out on it. It was a wake-up call. 

I realized that by always being the center of attention, I was actually pushing people away. So, I made a change. I started focusing more on listening than speaking. 

And guess what? Not only did people start enjoying my company more, but I also learned so much from their experiences and viewpoints.

So, remember: conversation is a two-way street. Let others share their stories too. 

4) Being stuck on your phone

In this digital age, we’re all guilty of spending a bit too much time on our phones. But did you know it could be driving people away? 

A study conducted by the University of Essex found that just having a cellphone present during a conversation can lead to lower feelings of empathy and lower-quality conversations.

So, the next time you’re in a social setting, try putting your phone away. Engage fully with the people around you. This simple act can make others feel valued and more attracted to your company.

5) Always being too busy

We all lead busy lives. There’s always something to do, somewhere to be. But, my friends, if we’re always rushing from one thing to another, we may be missing out on meaningful connections.

Imagine this: a friend reaches out, wanting to catch up over a cup of coffee, but you’re too busy to spare even a few minutes. Over time, these missed opportunities stack up, and people may feel that you’re not interested in them.

So, let’s try to slow down a little. Let’s make time for the people who matter. Remember, tasks will always be there, but the moments we share with others are fleeting. 

6) Not being genuine

Let me share something with you. I used to think that to be liked, I had to be like everyone else. I would try to fit in, mirror others’ opinions, and hide my true self. But, you know what? It didn’t work.

People can sense when you’re not being genuine and it creates a barrier between you and them.

When I finally decided to embrace who I am – quirks, differing opinions, and all – something amazing happened. People were drawn to my authenticity.

So, don’t be afraid to be yourself. Express your thoughts, share your interests, and let your genuine self shine through. 

7) Not owning up to mistakes

We all mess up. It’s part of being human. But here’s the thing: trying to cover-up, blame others, or make excuses for our mistakes? That’s a surefire way to push people away.

No one expects you to be perfect. In fact, it’s our flaws and how we handle them that often make us more relatable and human. 

So next time you goof up, just own it. Apologize sincerely if you’ve hurt someone. Learn from it. Grow.

That kind of honesty and humility doesn’t just attract people, it earns their respect too. And that, my friends, is a winning combo!

8) Being negative all the time

We all have bad days and it’s okay to vent now and then. But if you’re always complaining or focusing on the negatives, people might start to distance themselves.

Here’s an interesting fact: according to a study, negative emotions are more contagious than positive ones. So, if you’re always down in the dumps, it can bring those around you down too.

Try to focus on the bright side of things. Practice gratitude. Not only will it make you a more attractive person to be around, but it can also boost your own mood and wellbeing!

9) Not respecting personal boundaries

I remember when I was younger, I used to think that being open and always available to others was a way to make friends. But I soon realized that not respecting personal boundaries can actually push people away.

Once, a new friend of mine seemed to be distancing herself from me. I didn’t understand why until she told me that I was infringing on her personal space and time. It was a tough lesson, but an important one.

From then on, I learned to respect others’ personal boundaries – their time, their space, their privacy. And guess what? My relationships improved drastically. 

10) Breaking promises

Here’s a hard truth: if you’re constantly breaking promises, people are going to start losing trust in you. It’s as simple as that. We’ve all had those moments where we’ve promised something and then life got in the way. 

But when it becomes a habit, it sends a message that you can’t be relied upon.

So, let’s make a pact to only make promises we can keep. And if for some reason we can’t fulfill a promise, let’s be upfront about it and apologize. 

11) Judging others

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, if you’re always judging others, it’s time to take a long hard look in the mirror.

Judging people for their choices, their looks, their lives – it doesn’t make you superior, it just makes you less likable.

We all have our own journey. Our own struggles and triumphs. Let’s try to understand and accept people as they are, without judgement. 

Because at the end of the day, we’re all just trying to do our best in this crazy thing called life. And a little kindness and acceptance can go a long way in attracting people to us.

Eliza Hartley

Eliza Hartley, a London-based writer, is passionate about helping others discover the power of self-improvement. Her approach combines everyday wisdom with practical strategies, shaped by her own journey overcoming personal challenges. Eliza's articles resonate with those seeking to navigate life's complexities with grace and strength.

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