Clifton Kopp
Happiness is a peculiar thing.
Many people expect it to simply land on their laps without putting in the work.
But like anything in life, if you want to genuinely attract happiness in life, you have to actively cultivate it.
No, you can’t just wait idly for it to come around; you can’t depend on a winning lottery ticket or for your next big vacation overseas for happiness to manifest.
These are band-aid solutions.
The fact of the matter is that happiness has to come from deep within–and the main way to achieve it is through making gradual shifts in our daily habits and behaviors.
In this article, I’ll walk you through the habits you need to let go of if you want to attract happiness into your life.
Let’s get to it!
1) Overthinking
As a former chronic overthinker myself, I can tell you with certainty that there are few things more debilitating to our daily functions than ruminating to excess.
And it’s a practice that is completely avoidable, particularly when the things you’re worrying about are out of your control, whether about events in the past or future.
Overthinking is like a skilled goalkeeper, blocking any form of happiness coming your way.
You can be living through objectively optimistic circumstances, yet overthinking will detract from any semblance of happiness–and instead, you end up feeling miserable and constantly on edge.
This is no way to live.
Once you manage to break the toxic cycle of overthinking, expect good energy to come your way.
2) Comparing yourself to others
We are living through the golden age of comparisons.
How, you ask?
Well, a quick scroll through any social media platform and you’ll see photos and reels of friends and strangers alike respectively living their best lives, whether manufactured or not.
Naturally, we’ll compare ourselves and our situations to these random characters on the interwebs, a habit that can lead to a never-ending loop of inadequacy, jealousy, and lack of fulfillment.
We tend to lose appreciation for the good things in our life because on paper it just doesn’t quite measure up.
Thus, you have to make it a point to consistently focus on your own journey and progress in life rather than be fixated on everyone else.
Remember, comparison is the thief of joy for a very valid reason.
3) Neglecting self-care
You’re the sole owner of your existence, it’s high time you start acting like it.
Neglecting self-care almost always leads to unhappiness.
This is because your physical and mental well-being are foundational elements to true contentment in life.
Think about it, if you’re regularly gorging on fast food, never exercising, getting blackout drunk multiple times a week, and not getting enough sleep, chances are, you’ll feel pretty shitty about yourself.
And, well, the opposite is true too: if you start eating well, being active, sleeping seven or eight hours an evening, practicing mindfulness, etc., ninety-nine times out of a hundred, you’ll start feeling happier–and far more ready to take on the inevitable challenges life throws your way.
Hence, from this point forward, consider self-care practices non-negotiable. Love yourself.
4) Procrastination
People procrastinate because it is, technically speaking, the easy way out.
Putting things off doesn’t require much physical or mental exertion.
But this pattern of behavior also comes at a pretty hefty cost.
Procrastination can lead to a sense of stress, guilt, and discontent with one’s self.
I’ve met many chronic procrastinators over the years, and I’d be lying if I told you, that they were all happy, joyful people.
I remember a friend once told me that he considers his procrastination “a disease”, one he has struggled to cure over the years.
Without fail, he’d always get unnecessarily down on himself whenever he’d give into his habits and delay his obligations.
Remember, tackling your responsibilities head-on can provide a sense of achievement and relief… and hence, when you act accordingly, happiness is all but a guarantee.
5) Holding onto grudges
When you cling to past grudges rather than let go, you will almost always have dark energy hovering over you, whether you realize it or not.
My sister never forgave my dad for being a negligent parental figure growing up.
And though she went on to pursue a successful career in real estate, emotionally she remained tightly guarded well into her 30s.
Unconsciously, she was holding on to negative feelings, which affected the quality of her relationships, and therefore her levels of happiness.
Though she’s made some strides over the years, she still has a ways to go.
She still has yet to make amends to my dad–who despite his habitual expressions of deep remorse and pleas for forgiveness, has yet to get through to her.
So if you’re still holding onto grudges, realize that forgiveness is not just a gift to others but also yourself.
Let go of that anger and resentment, and you’ll be liberated from all kinds of negative emotions.
6) Seeking approval from others
If you want to attract happiness, that feeling has to come from deep within, not from anyone or anything else.
Once you start becoming dependent on others for fulfillment or satisfaction in life, this can be sort of problematic.
There’s a good chance you’ll be endlessly chasing happiness, never truly being able to settle down and feel content within yourself, always on the hunt for the superficial dopamine rush that comes from external approval.
Once you stop living to please others and cultivate self-approval and inner confidence on your own, you’ll be a force in this world.
I guarantee it.
7) Avoiding change
If there’s one thing that’s certain in this world, it’s that change is inevitable.
If you cling to the past and your tired ways of doing things, you’ll end up frustrated, as these methods won’t often align with the reality you live in.
This is why people who live in the past are regularly bleak: they are at odds with progress.
Once you start approaching change with an open mind, this will lead to personal development; not to mention unexpected joys and opportunities for stimulation and happiness.
8) Constantly complaining
Sure, having the occasional gripe about life is to be expected, arguably even healthy.
But when complaining becomes your default attitude, it’s safe to say you will not be attracting happiness into your life in large doses.
Besides, nobody likes to be around a chronic complainer.
Life is difficult enough as it is; most of us could do without the extra negative energy.
So next time you feel compelled to audibly moan, try focusing on solutions and positivity instead.
Final words
Remember, attracting happiness doesn’t come overnight.
But don’t be discouraged, every one of us is capable of achieving it.
All it takes is a few tweaks in our day-to-day habits.
Take it a step at a time, even if it doesn’t instantly feel natural.
Celebrate your victories, both big and small.
If you stay the course, with will and dedication, attracting happiness into your life will be all but a foregone conclusion.
You got this.
