If you want to appear confident in public, say goodbye to these 9 behaviors

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When you’re confident, you tend to have more opportunities in life–professionally, personally, romantically, and so on. 

We’re all not naturally confident though… and guess what, that’s perfectly okay. 

Regardless of how you perceive yourself, you can still seem confident when around others, and “fake it until you make it” so to speak. 

How, you ask? 

Well, first things first: you have to gradually let go of the behaviors that are making you seem meek and insecure. 

In this article, I’ll walk you through these aforementioned behaviors. 

Ready to seem more self-assured in public? Let’s get to it! 

1) Apologizing excessively

Most people can instinctively pick up on a lack of confidence in others. 

And many unfortunately will try to exploit those perceived weaknesses for personal gain. 

So it’s best to be on top of things. 

A telltale sign of a lack of confidence is engaging in people-pleasing behaviors, like apologizing excessively. 

When you say ‘sorry’ too often, you make it seem like you’re perpetually in the wrong… both to yourself and others. 

It makes you seem constantly unsure and submissive, almost incapable of being right, rather than assertive and poised. 

Sure, you may think you’re just being polite–but unless the apology is warranted, then you’re better off avoiding it altogether. 

As a general rule, you should only apologize when truly necessary. 

2) Avoiding eye contact

Did you that the majority of our in-person communication is through things like non-verbal gestures and body language tells? 

Well, you do now. 

How you carry yourself in the presence of others tells quite a vivid story about you. 

Steady eye contact and consistently meeting someone gazing, for instance, when conversing communicates confidence, attentiveness, and respect.

People will know you aren’t one to be messed with. 

But when you regularly look away when interacting with others, well, this suggests insecurity or disinterest. 

And trust me, they will catch on fast. 

3) Fidgeting

Again, be mindful of your body language.

When you’re genuinely confident, you will always seem cool and composed; the aura you exude will suggest someone who is in control. 

But when you’re insecure, how you physically carry yourself tends to reflect that. 

I know it’s hard to let go of ingrained habits and tics. But it’s worth a try. 

Nervous gestures like tapping your foot, playing with your hair, or fiddling with the objects in your vicinity can distract from your presence. 

Manifest relaxation… and allow your movements to reflect that mindset. Be deliberate and controlled.

4) Speaking quickly

Your inflection, or the way you talk, can speak volumes (no pun intended) about what’s going on internally. 

When it comes to communicating, remember, less is more. 

Speaking calmly, at a moderate pace, tends to indicate confidence and aplomb. 

Meanwhile, frantically rushing through your words will make you appear anxious, unsure, or unnecessarily nervous about what you’re saying. 

Not very cool or suave, if I’m being honest. 

5) Using qualifiers

When trying to cultivate confidence, the words that come out of your mouth matter. 

When you talk, you want to state your opinions and ideas firmly and assertively. 

You don’t want people to doubt what you’re saying, even if you secretly are unsure. 

Phrases like “I’m no expert, but…” or “This might be a dumb idea…” diminish your authority.

Similarly, hesitation when you talk can impact your effect on other people. 

For instance, frequent uses of  “um,” “like,” and “you know” can make your speech seem less fluent. 

Sometimes, it’s human nature to hesitate when speaking… nobody is saying you have to become late 2000s Barack Obama every time you open your mouth–but having an awareness of speech habits will go a long way. 

6) Slouching

In case you haven’t noticed, body language matters… a lot. 

Good posture signals deep self-assurance. 

So if you tend to slouch, like I once did throughout my youth, consider it time to change things up. 

Appearances are a big deal. Little things add up. 

When you consistently stand tall, with your shoulders back and head held high, people notice. 

They will unconsciously admire your swagger, your confidence, and your dignity. 

They will know that you’re a person who gets what they want; who people respect. Be that person. 

7) Seeking validation 

The most confident people I know rarely seek validation.

They are so self-assured that their self-satisfaction comes from within, not via hollow external assurance or validation. 

Their foundations as people run deep. 

I hate to break it to you but constantly searching for approval from others, whether online or in person, can make you seem needy or uncertain of yourself. 

Fishing for compliments, posting excess selfies, or constantly bragging about achievements on social media… all these things indicate a lack of confidence. 

You desperately long for the dopamine-fuelled praise that you don’t get from within–which is fine if you want people to think you lack conviction in yourself. 

8) Shying from the spotlight

Confident people are the leaders who take charge when things get out of hand. 

They take control; their determination and will overcome any feelings of uncertainty. 

Avoiding leadership roles or speaking opportunities can make you seem hesitant, docile, and timid—hardly qualities one often associates with confidence. 

So if you’re the type to avoid roles that put you in the spotlight, perhaps it’s time to make a few changes. 

Challenge yourself, speak up when you have something to say, step out of your comfort zone, and take the plunge–doing so will have a subconsciously positive effect on your confidence levels. 

You got this.

9) Neglecting personal appearance

It may sound a little shallow, but appearance really does matter.

If you dress like a slob, neglecting your fashion sense and personal hygiene, this isn’t just the image you will project to the rest of the world… this will ultimately reflect how you view yourself. 

Invest in yourself and don’t feel guilty about it. 

Go to the mall and buy some nice clothes that make you feel good about yourself. 

Dress neatly and appropriately. 

Own your individuality and autonomy as a person. Be proud. Confidence will follow. 

Final words 

As you may have gathered, confidence is kind of a big deal in life. 

Hence, it’s in your interest to cultivate it. 

But like anything, if you want to be confident, you have to work for it. 

Don’t expect great things to just land on your lap. 

Ditch the passiveness, be assertive. Sure, it may not instantly feel natural–but that’s to be expected. 

Soon, confident habits will be a part of you. And once you get to that point (and you will), you will be unstoppable. 

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