If you want real, undeniable love, say goodbye to these 10 habits

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

We all dream about having that perfect, movie-like love story.

But did you know, there are things you might be doing that are actually stopping you from finding real love?

Yep, that’s right! Sometimes, love is not just about doing all the right things but also about avoiding certain habits that could be holding you back.

So let’s dive into 10 habits you need to drop if you’re looking for real, undeniable love.

You might just find the secret to opening your heart for the love you truly deserve. 

1. Stop playing the comparison game

Hey, you! Yes, you scrolling through Instagram, envying all those seemingly perfect couples.

Hit pause right there.

It’s time to stop comparing your love life, or lack thereof, to others.

Remember, what you see on social media is often just the highlight reel.

Everyone has ups and downs in their relationships – they just don’t post it for the world to see!

Instead of wishing you had what they have, focus on your own journey of love. Every relationship is unique and unfolds at its own pace.

So put down that phone and stop the comparison game. Your love story is yours alone, and trust me, it’s worth the wait. 

2. Let go of past heartbreaks

We’ve all been there, nursing a broken heart and replaying old memories in our heads.

But clinging on to past hurts is like driving a car while only looking in the rearview mirror – you’re bound to crash!

It’s time to pack up those old heartaches and disappointments and leave them behind.

Remember, every heartbreak is a lesson, not a life sentence. It teaches us what we truly want and don’t want in a relationship.

So, learn from it, let go and make room for new love to enter your life.

Because you deserve happiness and a love that is pure and real, one that makes your heart flutter and your soul sing.

3. Trust your gut

I’ve learned this one the hard way. Once upon a time, I was in a relationship that looked great on paper.

We had fun together, shared common interests, but something just didn’t feel right.

I couldn’t put my finger on it, but my gut was trying to tell me something was off. I ignored it, thinking it was just my overthinking or fear of commitment.

Guess what? I was wrong! My intuition was spot on, and things ended up not working out. It hurt, yes, but it taught me a valuable lesson – never ignore your gut feeling.

Your intuition is your built-in alarm system. It’s there to protect you.

So if something feels off in your relationship, don’t brush it under the carpet.

Address it, talk about it or take a step back if needed. Your gut feeling rarely leads you astray when it comes to matters of the heart. Trust it. 

4. Don’t rush

Did you know that love, like fine wine, takes time to mature?

Relationships that progress slowly are more likely to be successful long-term than those that move quickly.

So, if you’re in a hurry to fall head over heels in love, or to make your relationship reach a certain ‘milestone’, take a breath and slow down.

Love is not a race. It’s a journey meant to be savored. Let things unfold naturally and organically.

Remember, true love is worth waiting for. So take it easy, enjoy the ride and let love blossom at its own pace.

You’ll appreciate the depth and strength of your bond much more when you’ve taken the time to truly get to know each other.

5. Talk about your feelings

Love is a beautiful symphony of shared emotions.

But, sometimes, we hold back our feelings due to fear of rejection or vulnerability.

However, a relationship thrives on communication – it’s like oxygen to love.

Be brave and open up about your feelings. Share your dreams, your fears, and everything in between.

It might feel scary at first, but it creates a bond that is deep, genuine, and full of understanding.

When you share your heart, you’re not just telling your partner how you feel. You’re showing them that you trust them with the most intimate part of yourself – your emotions.

This level of trust and openness is what makes love real and undeniable.

6. Be realistic

I once had this long list of traits I wanted in a partner.

They had to be smart, funny, ambitious, good-looking, kind-hearted… the list went on.

I was so focused on finding someone who ticked all these boxes that I ended up missing out on some great people who could have made me really happy.

Then it hit me. I was chasing an idea, not a person. I realized that nobody’s perfect, not even me. We all have our flaws and quirks, and that’s what makes us unique and human.

I tossed away my unrealistic checklist and started looking at people for who they truly are. And guess what? I found love in the most unexpected place.

So here’s my advice: Don’t chase perfection. Real love is about accepting someone for their imperfections as much as their strengths. It’s about understanding that the perfect person doesn’t exist, but the right one does!

7. Love yourself first

Let’s get real for a second. You can’t expect someone to love you if you don’t love yourself first. It’s like asking for a refill when your cup is already full of self-doubt and self-criticism.

You’ve got to empty that cup. Pour out all the negativity, the “I’m not good enoughs” and the “I don’t deserve happiness.” Then fill it back up, but this time with self-love.

Look in the mirror every day and tell yourself that you’re worthy of love.

Cherish your strengths, accept your weaknesses, and celebrate your uniqueness.

Because you are wonderful just as you are.

Remember, loving yourself is not a one-time event but a lifelong journey.

And once you embark on this journey, you’ll notice that people will love you just as fiercely as you love yourself.

So start today, because self-love is the first step to finding real love!

8. Be independent

People who maintain their sense of self while in a relationship tend to be more satisfied and have healthier relationships.

Being in love doesn’t mean losing yourself in your partner. It’s about complementing each other, not completing each other.

So, while it’s great to share interests and experiences with your partner, it’s also crucial to have your own hobbies, friends, and time to yourself.

Remember, you are an individual first before you are a partner. Don’t let your relationship become your entire world.

Keep growing as an individual, and you’ll see that your relationship will grow along with you.

After all, a healthy relationship consists of two whole individuals, not two half ones!

9. Don’t avoid problems

I remember in my earlier relationships, I was the queen of avoidance.

If an issue came up, I would brush it under the rug, hoping it would magically disappear.

Spoiler alert: It didn’t. In fact, those unaddressed problems grew bigger and messier until they blew up in my face.

I learned the hard way that avoiding confrontation is not the way to a healthy relationship.

It’s like ignoring a wound and hoping it will heal by itself without cleaning and bandaging it. It won’t – it’ll just get infected.

Now, I face issues head-on as soon as they arise, no matter how uncomfortable it might be.

Because I’ve realized that it’s better to deal with a small problem now than a big disaster later.

So, if you’re in the habit of avoiding problems, it’s time to change your approach.

Be brave, tackle those issues, and remember – communication is key in any relationship.

It might be tough, but trust me, your future self (and your relationship) will thank you. 

10. Accept your partner as they are

Love isn’t about molding someone into your idea of a perfect partner. It’s about embracing them – quirks, flaws, and all.

Trying to change your partner is like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole – it just doesn’t work.

I’ve been there, trying to subtly (and not so subtly) shape my partner into who I thought they should be.

But all it did was create resentment and tension. I was focusing so much on what they weren’t that I was blind to the amazing person they truly were.

So here’s my heartfelt piece of advice: love your partner for who they are, not who you want them to be.

Accept their flaws and celebrate their strengths. Real love is about seeing the beauty in the imperfections.

In the end, finding real, undeniable love boils down to being true to yourself, embracing others as they are, and being brave enough to open your heart. It’s not an easy journey, but it’s a rewarding one.

So, let go of these habits and make room for the love you truly deserve!

Did you like my article? Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed.

Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

10 things you should never sacrifice for someone (even if you love them)

13 body language tricks to make people instantly trust you