Adrian Volenik
Yes, you can have all the money in the world, the best family and friends, and still not have genuine inner peace. Now, how’s that even possible?
Well, that’s what I’m trying to uncover in this article. So let’s jump in!
1) Worry and anxiety
One of the biggest culprits of not having genuine inner peace is worrying and anxiety. Your mind is constantly anticipating future challenges and problems. Not just your own. But also those of the people close to you and even society and the world in general.
Isn’t that incredible?
I’m not a worrier. Well, at least not anymore. In the past, I’ve spent countless nights tossing and turning with my mind all over the place.
Since then, I’ve adopted a Roll with the Punches mindset.
It means being adaptable and flexible when challenges happen, recognizing that unexpected things will happen, and navigating them as they come is important.
Another mindset I recommend that I have is One Day at a Time. This approach focuses on taking life step by step without getting overwhelmed by future uncertainties.
2) Negative self-talk
Another habit you need to say goodbye to is negative self-talk. Replace self-criticism with self-compassion. Notice when you’re being hard on yourself and challenge those thoughts.
Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, just as you would a friend. It’s not that hard. You just need to be aware of the fact and willing to work on it.
For me, the worst time of self-doubt isn’t in the evening, before going to sleep. It happens in the morning as soon as I open my eyes.
To counter it, I simply get out of bed and don’t lie there thinking about it.
3) Unrealistic positive thinking
On the flip side, we have another issue – focusing too much on positive thoughts and dismissing or ignoring negative emotions or challenges.
While positive thinking is valuable, avoiding negative emotions altogether can lead to suppressed feelings.
Constantly focusing on being positive might suppress negative emotions like sadness, anger, or frustration.
These emotions are natural and have their place in our minds. Suppressing them can lead to emotional tension and internal conflict.
Embrace a balanced view that allows you to process both positive and negative emotions. This allows you to stay realistic while still finding reasons for optimism.
4) Fear of uncertainty
Not knowing what happens tomorrow, next week, month, or year makes most people uncomfortable. Humans love certainty.
We love knowing how much we’re getting paid and when, having a comfortable living situation, and assurance of what we’re doing in the following days.
However, this ambiguity is also holding many folks down. They’re afraid of trying new things, applying for better jobs, moving to a different city, etc.
For some, inner peace comes from embracing uncertainty as a natural part of life.
Instead of fearing it, develop a mindset of curiosity and adaptability. Trust in your ability to handle whatever comes to your doorstep.
Accept that some things are beyond your control. Focus on what you can influence, and practice letting go of the need to control every aspect of your life.
5) Grudges and resentment
How many grudges do you hold? Not just against others but against yourself too. If you’re anything like me, you have a couple.
But is that fair to yourself and others? Should there be an expiration period? Definitely!
Practice forgiveness as a gift to yourself. Holding onto grudges only weighs you down emotionally. Let go of the desire for payback and embrace the freedom that forgiveness brings.
Try seeing past mistakes as opportunities for growth. Learn from them, make amends where possible, and focus on the present moment rather than dwelling on what can’t be changed.
Break the cycle of overthinking by redirecting your thoughts. Engage in activities that bring you enjoyment, practice mindfulness, or talk to someone you trust to shift your focus away from rumination.
6) Comparisons
Most people compare themselves to others, right? We want to be seen as the best, most beautiful, fun, classy, the most out there, etc.
Everyone sends a different image of themselves to the world. Naturally, that self-published image is only the tip of the iceberg.
We mostly don’t let the general public see our insecurities, fears, and pimples.
But because we’re comparing ourselves to other people’s ideal and perfect images, we feel like we aren’t adequate enough.
Remember that everyone’s journey is unique. Focus on your own progress and growth without measuring yourself against others.
Celebrate your achievements regardless of how they compare to other people.
7) Excessive self-improvement
When I see someone more successful than me, I don’t envy them (too much). I let this motivate me to be more successful and accomplished.
I know how much hard work, blood, sweat, and tears must have gone into their achievement.
But there’s another concern. Yes, you’re working on bettering yourself, and that’s great.
Still, when you constantly focus on self-improvement, it can result in dissatisfaction with the present moment.
Balance self-improvement with self-acceptance and gratitude for who you are right now.
You don’t always have to feel the pressure to be productive, as it can result in burnout and stunt your ability to simply be present.
Allow yourself time for R & R without feeling guilty!
8) Attachment to outcomes
Attachment to outcomes is a common psychological hang-up that can significantly impact your ability to experience genuine inner peace.
It refers to becoming too fixated on specific results or expectations. It also leads to emotional distress and a lack of enjoyment.
While having goals is good, be open to different paths and outcomes. This reduces anxiety and disappointment if things don’t go exactly as planned.
Instead of setting rigid expectations, set positive intentions for your actions. This allows you to invest your energy in the process rather than being solely outcome-focused.
9) Desire for approval
Another thing you need to say goodbye to is seeking validation, recognition, and positive feedback from others.
Relying solely on external approval for your self-esteem can create a cycle of dependency on other people’s opinions, leading to insecurity, anxiety, and a lack of true inner peace.
Focus on your own values and beliefs rather than pursuing validation elsewhere. When you validate yourself, you’re less dependent on external opinions for your self-worth.
10) Judgment and criticism
Everyone has certain preconceived notions, assumptions, and prejudices of others, even those that think or say they don’t.
Notice when you’re being judgmental, and then try to understand why you’re doing it, and lastly, practice empathy instead. Try putting yourself in others’ shoes.
This will lead to better relationships and a more peaceful and content mindset.
But for better results, let go of this next hang-up.
11) Materialism
Materialism is the reason why our planet and its occupants are in grave danger. There’s no going around this simple fact.
We buy more things, producers make more of them, and it all ends up in waste eventually.
It’s a never-ending vicious circle that will only get worse as more and more people in the so-called third-world countries become middle-class and affluent.
And those living in the developed world aren’t exactly slowing down their consumption.
Why not shift your focus from accumulating possessions to valuing experiences and connections?
Meaningful experiences and relationships provide lasting happiness, while material possessions often offer only temporary satisfaction.
12) Perfectionism
And lastly, many people simply have unrealistic expectations about life, work, relationships, etc.
Everything doesn’t have to be perfect. In fact, striving for it hurts your chances of succeeding in many aspects of life.
You can have a flawed life in many ways and still be extremely happy and content. Even more so.
Recognize that perfection is unattainable and can lead to stress and burnout. Aim for progress and growth instead of aiming for flawless outcomes.
Final thoughts
Ultimately, there’s no escaping life’s realities. You can, however, choose your battles and work on recognizing and dealing with triggers that disturb your hard-earned inner peace.
