Eliza Hartley
When I raise my voice, Mom knows I’m upset; when I shut down, Dad knows I’m hurting.
As we grow older, our relationships with our parents often evolve, but the foundation of closeness and understanding remains key.
If you want to build a stronger, more meaningful bond with your parents, it’s important to let go of certain behaviors that might be unintentionally creating distance.
I’ve discovered that those who manage to do so usually say goodbye to some behaviors.
From taking them for granted to avoiding tough conversations, here are eight behaviors to say goodbye to in order to nurture a closer, more fulfilling relationship with your parents:
1) Having unnecessary arguments
It’s normal to have disagreements with your parents.
After all, no two individuals think alike, but if you’re engaging in heated arguments over trivial matters then it’s time to pause and rethink.
Unnecessary arguments only create distance as they build walls instead of bridges.
Your parents may not always be right, but neither are you—the key is to find a balance, to agree to disagree.
Throwing tantrums, shouting over minor disagreements, or refusing to see their point of view won’t bring you any closer so, instead, try to understand where they’re coming from.
Remember, communication is a two-way street.
2) Lack of communication
This one hits home: For years, I was stuck in my own world, my own problems.
I barely spoke to my parents beyond the usual greetings and casual chat.
Looking back, it’s clear to me that this lack of communication pushed us apart; even though we lived under the same roof, we were like strangers to each other.
Then, one day, I decided to change that by sharing more about my day, my thoughts, my dreams.
And guess what? My parents reciprocated.
Suddenly, our conversations were more meaningful and we laughed together, cried together, and learned from each other.
If you want a closer relationship with your parents, then take it from me: You need to open up and let them in.
3) Taking things for granted
It’s easy to fall into the trap of taking the people closest to us for granted.
We assume they’ll always be there, that they’ll always understand.
In a study conducted by the Journal of Developmental Review, it was found that gratitude plays a significant role in maintaining and enhancing relationship satisfaction, especially in parent-child relationships.
Remember to thank them for their love, support, and sacrifices—not just on special occasions but in everyday life.
Showing gratitude not only brings you closer to your parents, but also fosters a positive environment at home.
4) Stubbornness
We all have our moments of stubbornness—it’s part of human nature—however, when this trait becomes a barrier in our relationships, it’s time to reflect and change.
Always insisting on your way and refusing to compromise can strain your relationship with your parents.
Your parents have lived longer than you and have a wealth of experience—while it’s okay to have your own opinions, completely disregarding theirs can be hurtful.
The key is to maintain an open mind and a willingness to understand their perspectives.
5) Overdependence
I learned the hard way that relying too much on your parents can be a double-edged sword.
Sure, they were always there for me when I needed them, but I realized that this overdependence was hindering my growth.
In my early adulthood, I was overly reliant on my parents for decisions, big and small.
It was comforting, but I noticed a growing distance between us—they saw me as their little kid, not the adult I was becoming.
I decided to change that by making my own decisions and taking responsibility for them.
Eventually, they began to see me as an independent individual, which opened the door for deeper and more mature conversations.
Learning to stand on your own two feet strengthens your character and helps you build a healthier relationship with your parents.
6) Avoiding conflict
It may sound strange, but avoiding conflict doesn’t always lead to a peaceful relationship—in fact, it can sometimes do more harm than good.
When we avoid conflict, we often suppress our feelings and opinions, which can lead to resentment and misunderstanding.
Rather than running away from disagreements, we should learn to face them head-on.
It’s through these challenging conversations that we understand each other better—discuss the issue openly, express your feelings honestly, and listen to their perspective.
7) Neglecting quality time
In the hustle of life, it’s easy to overlook the importance of spending quality time with our parents.
We get so consumed with our work, friends, or personal life that we forget to carve out time for them.
Keep in mind, though, that it’s about genuinely engaging with them, sharing experiences, and creating memories.
Whether it’s a simple dinner together, watching a movie, or going for a walk in the park, these moments can do wonders in strengthening your bond with your parents.
8) Lacking empathy
At the heart of every relationship lies empathy—it’s the ability to understand and share the feelings of others—and it’s particularly crucial in a parent-child relationship.
By not showing empathy towards your parents, you’re missing out on a significant part of the connection.
Your parents are humans too, with their own set of worries, dreams, and emotions.
Push yourself and try to put yourself in their shoes and understand their perspective, their fears, and their hopes.
Doing so will not only bring you closer, but also foster a deep sense of mutual respect and understanding.
Final thoughts
Deepening your relationship with your parents goes beyond communication—it’s about understanding, empathy, and respect.
Our parents won’t be around forever as, in the rush of life, we forget this reality.
One day, their chair at the table will be empty, and all we’ll have are the moments we shared.
Cherish these moments, let go of harmful behaviors, and create a space of love and understanding.
Your parents are individuals with their own dreams, fears, and hopes.
As George Washington once said, “All I am I owe to my mother,” and the same applies to fathers too—in short, our parents shape us in ways we often don’t realize until we’re older.
In improving your relationship with your parents, you’re not just enhancing your present life but also paving the way for the person you will become.
