Ava Sinclair
There’s a vast difference between simply understanding emotions and harnessing emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence involves recognizing your own feelings, empathizing with others, and effectively managing those emotions. It’s all about how you react.
Psychology tells us that there are certain phrases used by those with high emotional intelligence.
If you regularly use the following nine phrases, you may have an innate ability to navigate emotional landscapes.
1) “I understand how you feel…”
Emotional intelligence goes hand-in-hand with empathy, which is all about understanding and sharing the feelings of others.
In everyday situations, we often encounter people expressing a range of emotions – from joy to frustration, from excitement to disappointment.
A hallmark of high emotional intelligence is the ability to acknowledge and validate these emotions in others.
This is crucial in building trust and fostering healthy relationships.
The phrase “I understand how you feel…” does just that. It shows that you are not dismissing their feelings, but instead, you are stepping into their world and seeing things from their perspective.
However, it’s important to genuinely mean it when you say this phrase.
Empathy isn’t just about uttering words – it’s about authentically connecting and empathizing with others’ experiences.
So, if you regularly use this phrase (and genuinely mean it), chances are you have an exceptionally high level of emotional intelligence.
2) “Help me understand…”
When it comes to emotional intelligence, curiosity is key. Being genuinely interested in understanding others helps to foster deeper connections and promotes open communication.
For instance, I remember a time when a colleague of mine was visibly upset about something.
Instead of making assumptions or passing judgment, I asked him, “Help me understand what you’re going through right now.”
This phrase not only showed that I was open to hearing his perspective, but also that I valued his feelings and wanted to understand the root of his distress.
By asking him to help me understand, I was able to create a safe space for him to express his feelings openly.
It also allowed me to gain a better understanding of his perspective which in turn helped me respond in a more considerate and supportive way.
Considering this, regular use of this phrase showcases an eagerness to learn and understand others, a clear indication of high emotional intelligence.
3) “I appreciate your perspective…”
When it comes to disagreements or differing viewpoints, those with high emotional intelligence tend to handle these situations differently.
They don’t simply push their ideas or become defensive. Instead, they show respect for the other person’s viewpoint.
The phrase “I appreciate your perspective…” is a clear example of this.
It communicates respect for the other person’s thoughts and feelings without necessarily agreeing with them.
Research shows that the simple act of acknowledging another’s perspective can reduce conflict and promote better problem-solving.
This approach fosters a more collaborative atmosphere, making room for productive discussions, instead of escalating into arguments.
So, if the phrase “I appreciate your perspective…” is a regular part of your vocabulary, you’re likely demonstrating a high level of emotional intelligence.
4) “I’m sorry…”
The ability to apologize sincerely is a powerful indicator of high emotional intelligence.
It shows that you are aware of your actions and their impact on others, and are willing to take responsibility for any mistakes.
The phrase “I’m sorry…” is more than just an apology. It’s an admission of error, a request for forgiveness, and a promise to do better.
It signals humility and the willingness to learn and grow from our missteps.
However, these words should not be thrown around lightly.
A heartfelt apology means acknowledging what you did wrong, understanding how it affected the other person, and making amends where possible.
Regular use of sincere apologies in your interactions with others suggests a high level of emotional intelligence.
5) “Thank you…”
Gratitude is a powerful expression of emotional intelligence. It shows that you don’t take things for granted and that you recognize the value of others’ efforts.
The phrase “Thank you…” is simple, yet profound. It acknowledges kindness, appreciation, and positivity. It’s a way of showing respect to others and valuing their contribution.
Expressing gratitude can also enhance your own emotional well-being.
Studies have found that those who regularly express gratitude tend to have lower levels of stress and depression.
So, if “Thank you…” is a phrase you use often and sincerely, it’s likely that you possess an exceptionally high level of emotional intelligence.
6) “I’m here for you…”
Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do for someone is to simply be there for them.
The phrase “I’m here for you…” carries a deep sense of empathy and commitment.
Whenever we use this phrase, we’re extending a hand of support when someone is going through a tough time, showing that they are not alone and that they can count on your emotional support.
Using this phrase doesn’t mean you have all the answers or can fix everything. It simply provides comfort, understanding, and a safe space for the other person to express their feelings without fear of judgment.
If you find yourself often saying “I’m here for you…” to those around you, it’s a strong indication of your high level of emotional intelligence, reflecting your ability to empathize and offer support when it’s most needed.
7) “I need some space…”
Understanding and communicating your own emotional needs is a vital part of emotional intelligence.
So people who are emotionally intelligent know when they need to step back, recharge, and process their emotions.
“I need some space…” is a phrase that comes into play here.
There have been times when I’ve been overwhelmed, where everything seemed too much to handle.
During these times, I’ve found it helpful to express my need for some space to think and recalibrate.
This phrase shows self-awareness and the ability to prioritize mental well-being.
It’s not about pushing people away, but rather about taking the time needed to manage your own emotions effectively.
Frequent use of this phrase, when needed, indicates a high level of emotional intelligence as it shows that you recognize your emotional limits and know how to assertively communicate them.
8) “How can I support you?”
Offering help to others in a considerate and sensitive manner is a true sign of emotional intelligence. It shows empathy, compassion, and a genuine desire to make things better for others.
The phrase “How can I support you?” is a direct way of expressing this.
It implies that you are willing to step up and help, but also that you respect the other person’s autonomy and want to provide the kind of support they specifically need.
This phrase fosters collaboration and understanding, while also reinforcing trust and mutual respect.
If “How can I support you?” is a recurring theme in your vocabulary, it’s very likely that you possess a high level of emotional intelligence.
9) “It’s okay to feel this way…”
Validating emotions is perhaps the most crucial aspect of emotional intelligence. It’s about acknowledging feelings – yours and others’ – without judgment or attempts to immediately ‘fix’ them.
The phrase “It’s okay to feel this way…” is powerful.
It communicates acceptance and understanding, providing comfort and reassurance during emotional distress.
It’s a reminder that emotions, no matter how uncomfortable, are a part of being human and it’s perfectly okay to experience them.
If you often use this phrase, it shows you understand the importance of acknowledging and validating emotions, which is essential for emotional well-being and healthy relationships.
The power of emotional vocabulary
Psychologist John Mayer, who co-developed the concept of emotional intelligence, once said:
“Emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive emotions, to access and generate emotions so as to assist thought, to understand emotions and emotional knowledge, and to reflectively regulate emotions so as to promote emotional and intellectual growth.”
The regular use of these emotionally intelligent phrases speaks volumes about your ability to do just that.
It shows your capacity to perceive, understand, and manage both your own emotions and those of others.
Language is powerful, so, as you go about your day-to-day interactions, consider the emotional weight of your words.
Reflect on how they can influence not only your relationships but also your personal growth in the realm of emotional intelligence.
