Leila El-Dean
We all have our limits, but some people truly take the cake.
They’re dismissive, selfish, and downright rude. What’s more, they constantly cross the line.
But you overlook it.
All because you care about them and don’t want to rock the boat. It’s your way of maintaining harmony.
Sometimes, though…
You need to say “Enough is enough.”
Be it physical, sexual, emotional, material, or time-related, boundaries are important.
Not only do they help protect us and conserve our individuality, but they promote and strengthen healthy relationships.
But how do you know when it’s time to stand up for yourself and reassert those limits?
Well, if you tolerate these eight behaviors from someone, you need stronger boundaries.
Let’s jump right in…
1) Repeatably turning up late to things
We all have that one friend. You know who I mean…
They’re a total flake.
Perhaps they cancel plans last minute, are constantly “busy” when you need them, or straight up don’t turn up (without prior warning).
And IF they do decide to grace you with their presence, they’re always late.
The worst thing is that they don’t seem to care or even notice.
There’s no accountability there.
Not only does this demonstrate a lack of respect for you (and your time), but it’s also a clear signal that your boundaries need reinforcement.
In fact, it’s crucial for maintaining mutual respect.
2) Never paying you back on time
What’s worse than being tardy? It’s not respecting your financial and material boundaries.
That’s right.
Your “friend” conveniently forgot to return that money you lent them last week – and that hoodie they borrowed months ago.
Lately, it feels like it’s all give and no take.
The thing is, it’s not the first time and it probably won’t be the last.
Not unless you verbalize your boundaries.
Until you do, they’ll keep taking advantage of you and your generosity.
3) Not taking “no” for an answer
We’ve all been there…
One minute you’re discussing plans together. Then, the next thing you know, you’re in charge of the whole kit and caboodle.
And when you try to say “no,” they outright dismiss your refusal. Moreover, they up the ante by piling on the pressure.
So that’s it, right? You’re roped in with no way out.
Well, this is the perfect time to bring up your boundaries.
I know, I know, it’s hard.
But friends and family who demand your time without offering support in return can lead to some serious burnout.
By establishing clear (and strong) boundaries now, it sends the message that you value yourself (and your time) – so they should too.
Go on, it’s okay to prioritize self-care sometimes.
4) Regularly interrupting (or ignoring) you
Urgh, it happened again!
You were in the middle of a killer story. When, suddenly, you were stopped dead in your tracks.
They interrupted you.
And bam, just like that, you’re silenced.
Not just that…
But they consistently undermine or disregard your core values and opinions like they don’t matter.
Here’s the thing.
Unless you clearly communicate your values (and the importance of respecting them), you’ll continue to be left unheard.
5) Mocking you in public
It started off with the odd joke here and there. But now, the constant unsolicited criticism, little digs, and public humiliation are getting a bit much.
It’s got to stop.
And whether it’s through belittling comments, sarcasm, or condescending behavior, consistent disrespect should not be tolerated.
So, when someone is going out of their way to mock you, you need to put your foot down and stand your ground.
The best way to do that is by reaffirming your boundaries.
6) Dismissing your feelings and opinions
No matter how many times you try to explain how you feel, you just don’t seem to get through to them.
It’s like you’re talking to a brick wall.
And whenever you attempt to broach the topic (yet again), they simply shut you down. Either labeling your feelings as irrelevant or dismissing them altogether.
It’s hurtful, to say the least.
But more than that, this lack of empathy is eroding your self-worth. Not to mention, it doesn’t make for a healthy relationship.
Ultimately, they’re pushing both your emotional and intellectual boundaries – which simply isn’t on.
For a relationship (romantic or platonic) to work, it’s important to respect each other’s feelings. Even if they don’t agree, your emotions are always valid.
That’s why you need to be prepared to reinforce your boundaries early on, before it reaches the point of no return.
7) Invading your personal space
No matter how many hints you drop, this person just won’t quit invading your personal space.
It’s like their mission to push your comfort level (and your physical boundaries).
It’s giving you “the ick.”
Whether it’s prying into your personal matters or getting too close for comfort…
Encroaching on your personal space (sexual or not) is a huge red flag.
Let me explain…
Known in psychology as “proxemics,” personal space is the amount of distance someone needs to feel comfortable around others.
It varies from person to person, with the average American preferring around 18 inches. But whatever that distance is, it’s equally important to respect it.
When someone chooses to overstep that boundary, it can cause the violated person a lot of anxiety and stress.
So, if you feel someone is invading your personal space, it’s crucial to communicate how you feel.
What’s more, you need to clearly define what is and isn’t acceptable by setting stronger boundaries.
8) Ignoring existing boundaries
The most telling sign that you need stronger boundaries is when someone keeps breaking your existing ones – over and over again!
It’s the only way to break the cycle.
You know I’m right.
Healthy relationships thrive on mutual respect, understanding, and the acknowledgment of each other’s individual needs.
So, if your limits are repeatedly crossed (without acknowledgment), it might be time to reevaluate the relationship.
Not only that…
But consider implementing stronger consequences if they continue to disrespect you.
It’s the only way they’ll learn that they need to take accountability for their actions.
And remember, setting boundaries isn’t about being confrontational, it’s about prioritizing your well-being.
That’s why it’s important to communicate your limits assertively and be consistent in enforcing them.
