If you tolerate these 12 behaviors from someone, you lack self-respect

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Have you ever heard the saying, “If you respect yourself, others will too”?

It sounds simple, but it’s not always easy to follow.

Sometimes we let people treat us badly to keep the peace or because we care about them.

But when do we cross the line from being patient to not respecting ourselves?

In this article, we’re going to talk about this. We’re going to look at certain bad behaviors you might be putting up with from other people.

If you’re doing this, it might mean you’re not respecting yourself enough.

1. They Constantly Criticize You

If someone is always putting you down or making negative comments about you, it’s not okay.

People who respect themselves don’t tolerate constant criticism from others. Sure, we all make mistakes and constructive criticism can help us grow.

But there’s a big difference between helpful feedback and mean-spirited criticism that makes you feel bad about yourself.

If someone is constantly highlighting your flaws or making you feel inadequate, it’s a sign they don’t respect you.

And if you’re allowing this without standing up for yourself, it could mean that you don’t respect yourself enough either.

Remember, everyone has the right to be treated with kindness and respect.

So next time someone starts criticizing you unfairly, take a stand.

Let them know that their negative comments are not helpful and that you deserve to be treated better.

Speak up for yourself – because if you don’t, who will?

2. They Disrespect Your Boundaries

Boundaries are a big deal. They’re like invisible lines that protect your mental, emotional, and physical space.

If someone is constantly crossing those lines without your permission, it’s a clear sign of disrespect.

Maybe they show up uninvited at your place, read your personal texts, or pressure you into doing things you’re not comfortable with.

Whatever the scenario, if someone consistently ignores your boundaries, it means they don’t respect you or your personal space.

And if you’re letting this happen without making a fuss about it, you might not be respecting yourself enough. It’s crucial to remember that it’s okay to say ‘no’ and it’s okay to protect your personal space.

You have every right to establish boundaries and expect others to respect them.

So next time someone disrespects your boundaries, be firm.

Let them know that what they’re doing is not acceptable and that they need to respect your personal space.

Stand up for yourself – because self-respect starts with respecting your own boundaries.

3. They Frequently Break Promises

Promises are a fundamental part of trust in any relationship. If someone frequently breaks promises without a good reason or remorse, it’s a sign they don’t respect you or your time.

When someone breaks a promise, it not only diminishes their trustworthiness but also makes us see them as less moral overall.

So if you find yourself constantly on the receiving end of broken promises, it’s not just about them being forgetful or disorganized. It’s about respect.

And if you’re tolerating this behavior and making excuses for them, it might be a sign that you’re not respecting yourself enough.

Remember – everyone deserves to be with people who keep their word. If someone is consistently breaking their promises to you, it’s time to have a serious talk with them about respect and reliability.

Don’t let anyone treat your time and trust as something they can easily discard.

4. They Always Put Their Needs Before Yours

If someone always puts their needs before yours without considering how you feel, it’s a red flag. I’ve learned this the hard way.

Here’s something that happened to me: I had a friend who would always decide where we’d go out, what we’d do, and would never take my opinions or preferences into account.

It was always about what she wanted to do. At first, I shrugged it off, thinking she just had a strong personality.

But over time, I realized that she was completely ignoring my needs and feelings.

This showed me two things: one, she didn’t respect me enough to consider my feelings and needs.

And two, by tolerating this behavior, I was disrespecting myself and my own needs.

And let me tell you, when I reached that point, I knew I needed to make a change. 

That’s when I stumbled upon a free Self-Healing Meditation by Rudá Iandê. 

You may find it hard to believe but taking those 19 minutes to center myself made a huge difference. 

It helped me refocus and prioritize my own needs, giving me the clarity to address the imbalance in my relationships. 

And if you’re in a similar situation, I’m sure it can do the same for you.

Here’s the link to the free meditation.

Remember that your needs matter too! It’s okay to voice your preferences and feelings.

5. They Don’t Value Your Time

Time is a precious commodity, and when someone repeatedly shows up late, cancels plans at the last minute, or expects you to be available at their beck and call, it shows a lack of respect for your time.

Consider this: In our hearts, we all understand that each moment given to us is irreplaceable. Every second that ticks by is a slice of our life that we can’t get back.

If someone doesn’t value your time, they’re essentially saying they don’t value those precious pieces of your life.

It’s heartbreaking to realize that someone you care about doesn’t value your time.

But if you’re tolerating this behavior without addressing it, you might need to reassess how much you’re respecting yourself and your own time.

Your time is just as valuable as anyone else’s.

So next time someone takes your time for granted, have an open and honest conversation with them. Let them know how their actions make you feel.

Remember, it’s not just about the hours in the day – it’s about respecting the finite amount of time we’re each given in this life.

6. They Frequently Interrupt You

We all know how frustrating it can be when someone interrupts us while we’re speaking.

It feels as if our opinions or thoughts aren’t important enough to be heard. I’ve been there myself.

I used to have a colleague who would constantly interrupt me during team meetings. Even when I was asked directly for my opinion, he would cut me off before I could finish my thoughts.

At first, I brushed it off as him being overly enthusiastic. But over time, I realized that he was dismissing my ideas and opinions, which is not a sign of respect.

Tolerating this type of behavior is a clear sign of self-disrespect. By not standing up for myself, I was essentially agreeing that my thoughts and opinions were less valuable.

So if you find yourself in a similar situation, don’t hesitate to speak up. Politely but firmly let the person know that you’d like to finish your thought before they jump in.

Remember, your voice matters and your opinions are worth hearing!

7. They Make Fun of You in a Hurtful Way

We all have friends who tease us, and most of the time, it’s all in good fun. But there’s a line between friendly banter and hurtful mockery.

If someone is consistently making fun of you in a way that makes you feel bad about yourself, that’s not okay.

This isn’t about being overly sensitive or not being able to take a joke. This is about someone using humor as a disguise for disrespect. It’s about someone intentionally or carelessly hurting you and brushing it off as ‘just a joke’.

And here’s the raw truth: if you’re letting this happen without calling them out on it, you’re not respecting yourself enough.

Humor should never be an excuse for disrespect. If someone’s jokes make you feel small, embarrassed, or hurt, it’s time to speak up.

Let them know that their ‘jokes’ are hurtful and disrespectful. Remember, you deserve to be treated with kindness and respect, even when it comes to humor.

8. They Don’t Listen to You

Listening is a fundamental part of communication and respect. If someone frequently ignores what you’re saying or doesn’t pay attention when you speak, it’s a sign of disrespect.

If someone isn’t paying attention to what you’re saying or how you’re saying it, they’re disregarding over 90% of your communication.

And if you’re tolerating this kind of behavior, it might be a sign that you don’t respect yourself enough.

Remember, you deserve to be heard. Your thoughts and feelings matter. So next time you feel like someone isn’t really listening to you, don’t be afraid to point it out.

Let them know that when they ignore what you’re saying, they’re showing a lack of respect for you and your thoughts.

9. They Dismiss Your Feelings

Having your feelings dismissed or belittled is painful. I know this from personal experience.

I once had a friend who would constantly dismiss my feelings. If I was upset or hurt, they would brush it off as me being overly sensitive. Instead of acknowledging my feelings, they would make me feel like I was wrong for having them.

Over time, this made me second guess my emotions and feel bad about myself.

What I came to realize is that this was a clear sign of disrespect. My feelings are valid and important, just as yours are. If someone is making you feel otherwise, it’s not right.

And if you’re allowing this to happen without standing up for yourself, it’s a sign that you might not be respecting yourself enough.

Remember, your feelings are valid and they matter. You have every right to express your emotions without fear of them being dismissed or belittled.

If someone can’t respect your feelings, it’s time to reconsider their place in your life.

10. They Never Apologize

Apologies are a big part of any relationship. They show that someone values your feelings enough to admit when they’re wrong and make amends.

But if you’re dealing with someone who never apologizes, even when they’ve clearly hurt you, it’s a sign of disrespect.

Let’s be brutally honest here: if you’re tolerating this behavior, it’s an indication that you might not be respecting yourself enough.

You deserve to be with people who can admit their mistakes and apologize sincerely. Don’t accept less.

11. They Take Advantage of Your Kindness

Being kind is a wonderful trait, but some people might see it as an opportunity to take advantage.

If someone is always taking but rarely giving, it shows a lack of respect for your kindness and generosity.

Here’s the raw truth: tolerating this kind of behavior is self-disrespect.

You deserve to be treated with the same kindness and generosity you offer others. Don’t let anyone take advantage of your good nature.

12. They Always Play the Victim

If someone always plays the victim and never takes responsibility for their actions, it’s a sign of disrespect. They’re essentially saying that their actions aren’t wrong—it’s your reaction that’s the problem.

The raw and honest truth? If you’re putting up with this kind of behavior, you’re not respecting yourself enough. You deserve to be with people who can own up to their actions and work on improving themselves. Don’t settle for less.

Remember: Respect starts with you. If you don’t respect yourself, others might not either. Stand up for yourself, set boundaries, and don’t tolerate disrespectful behavior from anyone.

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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