If you struggle to gain respect from people, say goodbye to these 10 behaviors

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Gaining respect from others can be a tough feat, especially when certain behaviors are holding you back.

It’s not rocket science, but it does require self-awareness.

Often, people unknowingly carry out actions that stand in their way of earning respect.

The key to flipping the script?

Identify and let go of these behaviors.

In this piece, I’m going to share with you 10 behaviors you should bid farewell to if you’re having a hard time gaining respect. 

1) Being a “yes” person

We all know them – those who never say “no”.

They agree to everything, even when it inconveniences them.

It might seem like a good strategy to be liked or respected.

After all, people appreciate a helping hand, right?

Well, not always.

Constantly saying ‘yes’ can sometimes lead others to perceive you as a pushover.

This is because it gives off the impression that you don’t value your own time or commitments.

And if you don’t respect your own time, why should others?

It’s important to understand when to say ‘no’.

This doesn’t mean becoming unhelpful or uncooperative.

It’s about setting healthy boundaries and valuing your own time and energy.

Saying ‘no’ might be tough initially, but with practice, it can help earn the respect of those around you.

2) Over-apologizing

I used to be one of those people who apologized for everything, even the smallest things that weren’t my fault.

One day, a friend pointed it out to me, “Why do you always say sorry? It’s like you’re apologizing for existing.”

That was a wake-up call.

Apologizing when it’s due is a sign of maturity, but overdoing it can make you seem insecure or unsure.

It can detract from your credibility and lower people’s respect for you.

I realized my constant apologies were actually an unconscious habit rooted in my desire to avoid conflict.

But all it was doing was undermining my self-respect and the respect others had for me.

Once I became aware of this, I made a conscious effort to only apologize when I had genuinely done something wrong.

It was a tough transition, but it made a world of difference.

So, if you’re in the habit of over-apologizing like I once was, it’s time to reassess.

Apologize when necessary, but don’t let it become an automatic response that diminishes your worth.

3) Not listening to others

There’s an old saying that we have two ears and one mouth for a reason – to listen twice as much as we speak.

However, in our fast-paced world, many of us often forget this wisdom.

Active listening is a critical skill for earning respect.

It shows that you value others’ opinions and are open to learning from them.

On the contrary, when we interrupt, dismiss, or ignore what others say, it sends a clear message that we don’t value their input.

This can quickly erode respect and damage relationships.

To gain respect, strive to improve your listening skills.

Show genuine interest in what others have to say, and you’ll find that they’ll start respecting you more in return.

4) Being overly negative

We all have our off days when things just don’t seem to go right.

But if you’re constantly projecting negativity, it might be hampering the level of respect people have for you.

Negativity can manifest in various forms – constantly complaining, criticizing others, or always expecting the worst.

This behavior can drain the energy of those around you and make them less inclined to engage with you.

Conversely, maintaining a positive outlook even in challenging situations is a sign of resilience and strength.

It’s okay to vent once in a while, but try not to let negativity become your default setting.

5) Lack of punctuality

Time is a valuable asset, and when you’re late, it sends a message to others that you don’t respect their time.

Repeated tardiness can give off the impression of disorganization and lack of consideration.

It’s a behavior that can quickly erode respect, no matter how good your intentions might be.

Being punctual, on the other hand, shows respect for others‘ time and commitments.

It’s a small act that can significantly enhance your reputation and the respect you receive.

So, if you’re in the habit of running late, it might be time to reassess your time management.

Aim for punctuality and show others that their time is just as important as yours.

6) Not keeping your word

Promises are easy to make but can be hard to keep.

Yet, the act of following through on your commitments is a fundamental aspect of earning respect.

When you don’t keep your word, it can hurt people more than you might realize.

It sends a message that they can’t rely on you or trust in your promises.

In contrast, when you consistently do what you say you will, it builds trust and shows others that you’re dependable.

People respect individuals they can count on.

If you’ve made a habit of not keeping your word, it’s never too late to change.

Start with small promises and work your way up. 

7) Not admitting when you’re wrong

I was once in a heated debate with a colleague.

I was so convinced I was right that I kept arguing my point even when evidence pointed to the contrary.

Eventually, it turned out I was wrong.

That incident taught me a valuable lesson: the inability to admit when you’re wrong can severely impact how others perceive and respect you.

Acknowledging when you’re wrong isn’t a sign of weakness; rather, it’s a sign of strength and maturity.

It shows that you value truth over your ego and are open to learning and growing.

Since that day, whenever I’m wrong, I make it a point to admit it.

It’s not always easy, but it has greatly improved my relationships and the respect people have for me.

8) Always needing to be in control

It might seem like being in control would earn you respect.

After all, leaders are often seen as strong, decisive, and in command.

But there’s a fine line between leadership and control.

Always needing to be in control can come across as domineering or inflexible.

It can create an environment where others feel their ideas and contributions aren’t valued.

Ironically, loosening your grip and allowing others to take the lead when appropriate can earn you more respect.

It shows that you trust in the abilities of others and are secure enough to share the spotlight.

So, if you find yourself always wanting to be in control, try stepping back sometimes.

You might be surprised at how this shift can enhance the respect you receive.

9) Lack of humility

Humility is an underrated yet vital trait when it comes to gaining respect.

People who can acknowledge their limitations, accept feedback, and give credit where it’s due are often well-respected.

On the flip side, arrogance or an inflated ego can be off-putting.

No one knows everything, and pretending otherwise can quickly diminish the respect others have for you.

Strive to be confident but humble.

Acknowledge your achievements but also recognize the role of others in your success.

Remember, humility doesn’t mean downplaying your accomplishments; it’s about recognizing that you’re part of a bigger picture. 

10) Not respecting others

In the grand scheme of things, the golden rule holds true: treat others as you want to be treated.

If you want respect, start by giving it.

Show genuine respect to everyone you interact with, regardless of their status or role.

It’s about valuing others’ opinions, listening attentively, acknowledging their contributions, and treating them with kindness and decency.

After all, respect is a two-way street.

If you offer it generously to others, you’ll find that it often finds its way back to you.

It’s about self-awareness and growth

The journey to earning respect from others is closely tied to self-awareness and personal growth.

Understanding how your actions and behaviors impact the way others perceive you is the first step.

But it’s the willingness to change and grow that makes the real difference.

Change isn’t easy, but it’s crucial if you want to earn respect.

You have to be prepared to let go of behaviors that are holding you back and replace them with ones that enhance your interactions with others.

Remember, respect cannot be demanded; it can only be earned.

And often, it starts with respecting yourself, your time, and your worth.

As the well-known saying goes, “What you think of yourself is much more important than what people think of you.”

So hold yourself in high regard, value who you are, and the respect from others will surely follow.

Mia Zhang

Mia Zhang blends Eastern and Western perspectives in her approach to self-improvement. Her writing explores the intersection of cultural identity and personal growth. Mia encourages readers to embrace their unique backgrounds as a source of strength and inspiration in their life journeys.

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