If you say these 9 phrases every day, you have remarkable emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence isn’t about being nice all the time. It’s about understanding your emotions and those of others, then managing them to foster relationships and achieve results.

Using the right phrases can help you demonstrate your emotional intelligence, subtly influencing the people around you.

So, what if I told you that there are specific phrases you can use daily to showcase your remarkable emotional intelligence?

In this article, I’m going to share those phrases with you. 

Let’s get started.

1) “I understand how you feel”

In every interaction, there’s an underlying emotional current. It’s not always about what’s being said, but also about how people feel.

Emotional intelligence is about recognizing and responding to these emotions.

One of the most powerful phrases you can use to show your emotional intelligence is “I understand how you feel”. This simple phrase shows empathy, one of the key pillars of emotional intelligence.

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. It’s more than just acknowledging someone’s emotions – it’s about truly understanding them from their perspective.

When you say “I understand how you feel”, you’re showing the other person that you’re stepping into their shoes. You’re acknowledging their emotions and validating their feelings.

This phrase can have a profound impact on your relationships. It can help to build trust, improve communication, and foster a deeper connection with others.

It’s not about pretending to understand or manipulating others with false empathy. It’s about sincerely understanding and respecting their feelings.

2) “I made a mistake”

Admitting a mistake can be tough, but it’s a key marker of emotional intelligence. It takes humility and self-awareness, two crucial components of emotional intelligence, to own up to your errors.

“I made a mistake” is a phrase that I’ve had to use more times than I care to remember. But each time has been an opportunity to learn and grow.

For example, there was a time when I was leading a project at work and I miscalculated the budget. This resulted in an unexpected shortfall and the team had to scramble to find solutions. It was stressful for everyone involved.

Instead of shifting the blame or trying to hide my error, I gathered the team and said, “I made a mistake with our budget calculations. I take full responsibility for this and I understand the pressure it puts on all of us.”

The reaction from my team was not what I expected. There was no blaming or anger. Instead, they appreciated my honesty and we all worked together to resolve the issue.

This experience taught me that admitting your mistakes does not make you weak. On the contrary, it shows strength, accountability, and reliability. It helps build trust and respect in your relationships and fosters open communication.

3) “How can I help?”

Emotionally intelligent people understand that relationships are built on mutual support. It’s not just about taking, but also about giving back.

The phrase “How can I help?” shows that you’re not just focused on your own needs and wants. You’re also interested in the needs of others and willing to offer your assistance.

This phrase is powerful because it immediately puts you in the other person’s corner. It shows empathy, compassion, and a willingness to go above and beyond for others – all key traits of emotional intelligence.

In a survey by American Express, 68% of customers said that a pleasant representative was key to their recent positive service experiences, and 62% said that a representative’s knowledge or resourcefulness was key.

By asking “How can I help?”, you’re not only showing emotional intelligence, but you’re also likely to foster better relationships, whether in your personal life, at work, or with customers.

4) “I appreciate your perspective”

Emotional intelligence is also about respecting diversity in thoughts and opinions. Not everyone will see things the way you do, and that’s okay.

When you say “I appreciate your perspective,” you’re acknowledging that there are different ways to view a situation. You’re showing respect for the other person’s viewpoint, even if it differs from yours.

This phrase is particularly useful in discussions or arguments. It helps to diffuse tension and makes the other person feel heard and validated.

It also opens up the possibility for you to learn something new. By appreciating different perspectives, we expand our understanding and become more open-minded.

In essence, saying “I appreciate your perspective” is a reflection of your emotional maturity and intelligence. It’s a simple way to show respect, learn from others, and foster better relationships.

5) “Let’s find a solution”

Conflicts and disagreements are a part of life. However, how you handle them is a testament to your emotional intelligence.

The phrase “Let’s find a solution” shows that you’re not interested in winning an argument but in resolving the issue at hand. It demonstrates your problem-solving skills and your willingness to work together towards a resolution.

This approach shifts the focus from the problem to the solution, which is more productive and less emotionally draining.

In a heated situation, this phrase can help to diffuse tension and foster cooperation. It encourages dialogue and teamwork, rather than conflict and division.

Emotional intelligence is not about avoiding conflicts but managing them effectively.

When you face disagreement, instead of focusing on who’s right or wrong, say “Let’s find a solution” and work towards a common goal.

6) “You matter to me”

In a world that often feels rushed and impersonal, taking the time to express genuine care for others can make a significant difference.

The phrase “You matter to me” is a powerful way to demonstrate your emotional intelligence. It conveys a deep level of respect and acknowledgment of the other person’s worth.

When you tell someone they matter to you, you’re saying that their feelings, thoughts, and experiences are important to you. You’re acknowledging their presence in your life and the value they add.

This phrase can deeply touch people, strengthening bonds and fostering feelings of security and belonging.

It’s not always easy to express such profound sentiments, but doing so shows a high level of emotional intelligence. It shows that you’re not afraid to be vulnerable and that you value your relationships deeply.

Don’t hold back. Let the people in your life know they matter. It’s a small gesture with a big impact.

7) “I’m sorry”

We all make mistakes, and sometimes those mistakes hurt others. When that happens, it’s important to apologize sincerely.

“I’m sorry” is a phrase that carries a lot of weight. It acknowledges your mistake and the pain it may have caused. It shows that you’re willing to take responsibility and make amends.

Once, I made a harsh comment in a moment of frustration. It upset a close friend, and I immediately regretted my words. Swallowing my pride, I apologized, saying, “I’m sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

My friend appreciated the sincerity of my apology, and we were able to move past the incident.

Saying “I’m sorry” is not just about admitting your mistake. It’s about understanding the impact of your actions on others and making an effort to rectify the situation. It’s a sign of emotional intelligence and maturity.

8) “I need some time”

Emotional intelligence also involves self-awareness and self-regulation. Sometimes, we all need a moment to process our feelings or to cool down.

Saying “I need some time” is a healthy way to acknowledge your emotional state and take care of yourself. It shows that you’re aware of your emotions and that you’re trying to manage them effectively.

This phrase can prevent heated arguments from escalating and give you the space to gather your thoughts. It demonstrates your ability to set boundaries and respect your emotional needs.

Taking care of your emotional health is an important aspect of emotional intelligence. So don’t be afraid to ask for time when you need it. It’s a sign of self-awareness and emotional balance.

9) “Thank you”

Gratitude is a powerful emotion that can significantly boost your emotional intelligence. It shifts your focus from what’s wrong in your life to what’s right.

Saying “Thank you” is a simple yet effective way to express gratitude. It shows appreciation and acknowledges the efforts of others.

This phrase can enhance your relationships, improve your mental health, and even make you happier. It’s a small act with a big impact.

Don’t forget to say “Thank you” often. It’s the cornerstone of emotional intelligence and a key to a fulfilling life.

Final thoughts: It’s about connection

The power of these phrases lies in their sincerity. When used genuinely, they can significantly enhance your relationships, foster mutual respect, and create an environment of trust and understanding.

Dr. Travis Bradberry, co-author of the book Emotional Intelligence 2.0, noted that emotional intelligence is the “single biggest predictor of performance in the workplace and the strongest driver of leadership and personal excellence.”

So as you go about your day, strive to use these phrases authentically. Listen with empathy, speak with kindness, and remember that emotional intelligence is not just about managing our emotions but also about connecting with others on a deeper level.

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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