There’s a fine line between being generous and giving too much of yourself to others. In fact, it’s a balancing act.
Sure, it’s great to be there for people, to lend an ear or a helping hand. But it’s equally important to take care of your own needs and wants.
Sometimes, though, the scales tip in favor of others. You find yourself constantly running on empty, wondering why you’re always so drained.
And that’s where these 8 signs come in. If you can relate to them, chances are you’re giving too much to others and not enough to yourself.
1) You’re constantly feeling drained
Ever find yourself feeling exhausted all the time, despite getting a good night’s sleep?
It’s like you’re running on fumes, with no energy left to even enjoy your own life.
This could be a sign that you’re giving too much of yourself to others. You spend so much time and energy taking care of everyone else’s needs that you neglect your own.
Remember, it’s not selfish to prioritize your own wellbeing. After all, you can’t pour from an empty cup. It’s essential to recharge your batteries and make time for self-care.
Again, balance is key. Be there for others, but make sure you’re also there for yourself.
2) You struggle to say ‘no’
I remember a time when I couldn’t say ‘no’ to anyone.
A friend needed a favour? I was there. A colleague needed help with a project? Count me in.
The problem was, my own tasks and needs got pushed aside.
This is an all too common sign. You might find it hard to say ‘no’ for fear of letting others down, or maybe you feel guilty for prioritizing your own needs.
But here’s the thing.
Saying ‘no’ is not about being mean or selfish. It’s about setting boundaries and respecting your own time and energy.
It took me a while, but once I learned to say ‘no’, I found more time for myself and felt less overwhelmed.
If you’re always saying ‘yes’ at the expense of your own needs, you might be giving too much to others and not enough to yourself.
3) Your self-care routine is non-existent
Self-care isn’t just about bubble baths and spa days. It’s about taking care of your physical, mental, and emotional health.
A study by the University of Navarra in Spain found that self-care activities can help manage stress and promote overall wellbeing.
Yet, when you’re always focused on others, these essential activities can easily fall by the wayside.
If you’re neglecting your own self-care because you’re too busy caring for others, it’s a sign you’re giving too much to others and not enough to yourself. It’s time to make self-care a non-negotiable part of your routine.
4) You feel responsible for other people’s happiness
Do you often find yourself going above and beyond to make others happy, even when it comes at your own expense?
While it’s wonderful to want to spread joy, it becomes a problem when you feel solely responsible for other people’s happiness.
The truth is, you can’t control how others feel.
Everyone is responsible for their own emotions and reactions. It’s not your job to fix everything or make everyone else happy.
If you relate to this, it might be a sign that you’re giving too much of yourself to others and not investing enough in your own happiness and wellbeing.
5) You’re always the listener, never the talker
Isn’t it a beautiful thing to lend a listening ear to a friend in need? To sit with them, offering comfort and support without uttering a word. You’re there for them, always.
But sometimes, you might notice that the roles are seldom reversed.
You’re always the shoulder to cry on, the sounding board, but when you need someone to listen to you… silence.
If this resonates with you, it’s a sign that you might be giving too much of yourself.
It’s important to remember that your feelings and experiences matter too. You deserve to be listened to, just as much as you listen to others.
6) You feel guilty when you prioritize yourself
I recall a time when taking a day off to just relax felt like a crime.
I’d sit there, trying to unwind, but all I could think about was the chores undone, the friends I could be helping, the work I could be doing.
The guilt was overwhelming.
It’s a common sentiment among those who give too much – feeling guilty when you finally decide to put yourself first.
But it’s crucial to remember that prioritizing your own needs isn’t something to feel guilty about. It’s necessary for your wellbeing.
So, if guilt creeps in every time you choose yourself, it’s a clear sign that you’re giving too much to others and not enough to yourself.
7) You neglect your own goals and dreams
We all have dreams and goals, things we want to achieve in life. But when you’re constantly focused on others, your own aspirations can get pushed to the back burner.
Maybe you’ve always wanted to start your own business, learn a new language, or train for a marathon.
But these dreams are gathering dust because you’re too busy helping others chase their dreams.
If your own dreams are taking a backseat because you’re always putting others first, it’s a sign that you’re giving too much of yourself away. It’s time to start prioritizing your own ambitions.
8) You feel unappreciated
When you’re always giving, it’s natural to hope for some appreciation in return. But often, when you give too much, your efforts can be taken for granted.
Feeling unappreciated can leave you feeling drained and resentful. It’s a clear sign that the balance is off.
Remember, it’s not about seeking validation from others, but about recognizing your own worth. You deserve to be appreciated, not just for what you do for others, but for who you are.
If this feeling of being unappreciated resonates with you, take it as a sign to start investing more in yourself.
Final thoughts: It’s about self-love
At the heart of all this, there’s one concept that stands out – self-love.
It’s not just about bubble baths or treating yourself to something nice. It’s about acknowledging your worth and understanding that you, too, deserve care and kindness, just as much as anyone else.
The American Psychological Association found that self-love and self-compassion are key predictors of mental health. They can help reduce anxiety and depression and promote a healthier lifestyle.
If you find yourself relating to these 8 signs, it might be time for a change. It’s time to shift your focus inward, to value your own needs and feelings as much as those of others.
Remember, it’s not selfish to love yourself. It’s necessary. As you turn the page on this chapter of perpetual giving, remember to give back to yourself, too. Because you matter.