If you refuse to tolerate these 7 behaviors from people, you clearly have a lot of self-respect

Self-respect is a vital component of a healthy, fulfilling life. 

It shapes the way we perceive ourselves and dictates how we allow others to treat us.

But how do you know if you really do have self-respect? 

It’s not something all of us were taught in school or at home. I didn’t realize how much I was disrespecting myself until I started learning about it online. 

After years of cultivating a healthy attitude towards myself, I can finally say I know my worth. But it isn’t always easy to stay true to myself – other people’s behavior can have a strong impact. 

And that’s what we’ll be diving into in this article – behaviors that, if you refuse to tolerate, show you clearly have a lot of self-respect. 

Let’s start with the first and most obvious behavior: 

1) Disrespect

Disrespect can come in many forms – it might be the colleague who constantly cuts you off, a partner who mocks you, a parent who ignores your boundaries – the list is endless. 

But a key sign that you have a lot of self-respect is if you refuse to accept these behaviors. 

That doesn’t mean you kick off and respond aggressively – far from it. You simply set your boundaries, stand up for yourself, and walk away from those who refuse to treat you with dignity. 

Ultimately, you know your worth and you’re not willing to lower yourself to the level of those who can’t behave accordingly.

2) Dishonesty

There was a time when I’d give dishonest people chance after chance. I thought it was because I was a kind person, but I realized down the line that in having that mindset, I was disrespecting myself. 

I learned that you can be a kind person and also refuse to accept people’s bullsh*t! 

The very first time I decided to put myself first, I cut off certain family members who had spread lies about me, nasty rumors that were downright cruel.

Was it easy? 

No. I felt terrible, like I was the one in the wrong. 

But I stuck to my guns, and when I look back now, I realize that I did myself a huge favor. 

It was also a turning point in my journey of self-love – for the first time, I knew what I deserved and I wasn’t going to accept people into life who weren’t good for me. 

If this sounds like you, well done. 

You’ve got self-respect and it shows. By only surrounding yourself with trustworthy people, you’re setting the bar high and cutting out the time wasters. 

3) Manipulation

We’ve all got that little voice inside that tells us something or someone just isn’t quite…right. 

It’s like a little alarm bell that rings, especially when someone exhibits manipulative behavior. 

For example, if you’re in a relationship and your partner makes you feel bad every time you try to go out without them, something deep down tells you that that’s wrong. 

And as someone with self-respect, you pay closer attention. 

You don’t ignore your gut feeling or hope that things will magically get better. 

Instead, you start to analyze the situation. You look at past behaviors. You consult with trusted friends and family. 

And when you’re sure that someone is trying to manipulate you, you either put strong boundaries in place or remove yourself from the situation entirely. 

This shows just how much you value your autonomy and freedom. 

4) Criticism

Now, there’s a difference between giving constructive feedback and outright criticizing someone for the sake of it. 

I remember seeing a friend go through this. Her boyfriend kept criticizing every little thing she did in front of our friendship group. 

The first time she let it slide. The second she quietly mentioned something to him away from the group. 

But the third time? She’d had enough. 

She calmly but firmly told him that his comments weren’t useful or appreciated and that if he didn’t stop, she wouldn’t be bringing him to group get-togethers anymore. 

Their relationship didn’t last for many reasons (this being one of them) but in that moment, I saw how much self-respect she had. 

She refused to be ridiculed for no reason, no matter how much she loved the guy.

5) Inconsistency

I recently went through a situation with a friend of mine who, for reasons still unknown, started acting hot and cold with me. 

She’d make plans and then cancel at the last minute. She’d pretend to be concerned about me when I was going through a tough patch but then spend the entire evening speaking about herself. 

After a while, I saw it for what it was:


A true friendship is based on trust and mutual give and take. I realized that a self-respecting person wouldn’t stand for anything less, so I decided to ask my friend what was going on. 

Of course, she was full of excuses that didn’t make sense. I told her that her behavior was hurtful and inconsiderate, and what I’d love to see going forward. 

Well, it’s safe to say she didn’t respect my boundaries and I decided to give less priority to the friendship. 

Because ultimately, a self-respecting person chooses closely who they invest time into and who they don’t.

6) Neglect

Here’s the scenario: 

Your partner, once loving and attentive, now forgets important dates, rarely pays attention to you, and spends all their time playing video games or out with friends. 

They don’t help around the house and they certainly don’t show appreciation for anything you do. 

In other words, you’re being neglected. 

You know you deserve clear and honest communication and someone who makes time for you.

You know what you bring to the table. 

So, rather than suffer in silence, you confront the issue head on. If your partner realizes their shortcomings, you offer a second chance. 

But if they don’t? Well, you know you’re much better off alone than with someone who doesn’t value your presence in their life. 

7) Gossip

Sadly, gossip isn’t reserved for high school canteens and teenage girls – adults by far spend too much time gossiping about one another. 

I have a close friend whose siblings constantly gossip about her. She knows it. But unfortunately, she accepts it. She hosts them every weekend knowing that before midday on Monday, they’ll have revealed her business to anyone who’ll listen. 

She’s a lovely person, but she severely lacks self-respect

On the other hand, I have a cousin who found out that her close friends were gossiping behind her back. She confronted them and eventually moved on. 

In her own words, “What do I need people like that for? I don’t gossip, and I expect my close friends to be just as trustworthy.” 

So, if you resonate with the points made above, and you also refuse to accept these behaviors, you should be very proud of yourself. 

Cultivating self-respect isn’t always easy. Many of us have to battle the weight of the world’s opinions, bad experiences, and unhealthy examples before we reach a healthy self-image. 

But one thing is for sure, life gets much better when we take note of our own worth and surround ourselves with people who behave respectfully. 

Kiran Athar

Kiran is a freelance writer with a degree in multimedia journalism. She enjoys exploring spirituality, psychology, and love in her writing. As she continues blazing ahead on her journey of self-discovery, she hopes to help her readers do the same. She thrives on building a sense of community and bridging the gaps between people. You can reach out to Kiran on Twitter: @KiranAthar1

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