If you recognize these 9 signs, you’re truly happy being childless

Growing up, I never imagined a future without kids. In fact, at one point in time, I wanted 6 (before I truly understood what birthing a child entailed). 

Something changed when I hit my mid-20s. That urge and desire to have a child waned. A few years after meeting my husband, we decided we were pretty happy being child-free. 

Now, at 31, I’m often asked if I regret/will regret this decision. People find it hard to believe that life can be meaningful and full of love without little ones in the picture. 

But I disagree. 

And perhaps you do too. 

So, if you recognize these 9 signs, you’re truly happy being childless: 

1) You feel fulfilled without children

It’s a pretty common misconception that a life without children is bare, empty, and cold. Like life has no meaning without them. 

Now, I don’t know where this myth first originated from, but I can see how untrue (and harmful) it is. I know plenty of child-free men and women with incredible lives. 

And if this point resonates with you, it’s likely because you’ve created a life full of meaning and fulfillment. 

You’ve proved the naysayers wrong. 

You don’t feel like there’s a void in your life. You don’t feel like you’re missing out on something. Instead, you’ve worked hard to build a life that nourishes and excites you.

In other words, you’ve got purpose and joy, and ironically, you found it without adding kids into the mix. 

2) You enjoy your freedom and independence

Before the parent brigade chases me down, I’ll acknowledge that you can do pretty much everything in life even if you have a child (i.e., travel, start a business, run a marathon, etc).

But when it comes to complete and utter freedom and independence? 

Logistically, it’s much simpler without having to factor in children.

I’ve only got two cats, but every time I want to travel, I have to organize pet sitters – this is nothing in comparison to having kids to see to, but it still hampers my desire to be spontaneous and wild. 

So, if you’re like me and you enjoy being independent without having to tend to anyone else (except a furbaby or two) then there’s a good chance you’re happy living the child-free life. 

You clearly value your freedom and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. 

3) You have strong, nurturing relationships

I don’t doubt that the unconditional love that comes from having children is a bond like no other, but it doesn’t mean that other relationships are less significant. 

If you’ve got strong connections with family, friends, or a spouse, you might not feel the need to bring children into the mix. 

Put simply, you’re content with the strong relationships you’ve already formed. 

I met a couple the other day who never had children. Now they’re retired, they spend a lot of time socializing, hosting dinners, and going on holiday with their friends. 

When I asked if they were happy with their decision, they said they had never felt lonely because they made a conscious decision to invest time into their loved ones. 

For them, that’s more than enough. And perhaps you feel the same way too.

4) Your career and passions take center stage

Another sign you’re truly happy being childless is if your career or passions are the main focus of your life. 

I have a cousin who is incredibly passionate about teaching in impoverished countries. She never had kids because they wouldn’t have been compatible with her lifestyle. 

Does she feel miserable without them?

No. She takes great joy in her work and as she feels this is her calling in life, she’s made peace with the fact that having children wasn’t right for her. 

The funny thing is, through her work, she’s like a mother to hundreds and hundreds of children around the world anyway. 

5) You feel financially secure

Ever heard of the term “DINK”? It’s trending on social media, and it stands for “Double/Dual Income No Kids”. 

Whether you’re a DINK or SINK, the peace of mind that comes with knowing your money only needs to support yourself and not a growing family can be a big thing. 

While my friends with children are currently budgeting, worrying about how to pay for their kid’s futures, and sometimes, struggling to make ends meet, I feel pretty financially secure. 

I’m lucky enough to have saved up for the foreseeable future and live a pretty comfortable lifestyle. 

Not to mention, I can invest my money into things that bring me fulfillment (AKA flights to new and exciting destinations) and other ventures that take my interest. 

6) You don’t feel pressured by societal norms

Does it really get under your skin when people ask why you don’t have kids? Does it give you a sense of longing or sadness? 

If the answer is a resounding NO, then there’s a good chance you’re truly happy being childless. 

You don’t buy into the norms that have been pushed onto us through society. You know you can be a complete, whole, and happy individual without kids.

You also know that your sense of worth in this world isn’t tied to having a family. 

My guess is that you also question other societal norms like having to work a 9-5 to be successful or that sticking around for toxic family members is the honorable thing to do. 

Don’t worry, dear out-of-the-box thinker, you’re not alone! 

7) You’re invested in personal growth

Now, another thing that many people overlook when the conversation turns to having kids is how much one has worked on themselves. 

I know a few individuals who refuse to have children because they know they wouldn’t hit the mark as a parent. Or, because they don’t want to pass their unresolved traumas down to their kids. 

Or because they simply have a long journey of healing and development ahead of them, and having kids would undoubtedly serve as a distraction. 

So, if personal growth is a priority for you, then it’s likely you’re happy without kids in the picture – your focus is solely on bettering yourself. 

And on that note – don’t ever let the naysayers make you feel bad or selfish for putting yourself and your well-being first. 

I personally think the real selfishness lies in bringing children into a world where they have to deal with their parent’s unresolved issues for the rest of their lives.

8) You enjoy peace and quiet

Ah, now this is a point I can really relate to! 

I don’t know about you, but for me, walking into my quiet, calm, and clean house at the end of the day is just heaven. 

Waking up on a Saturday or Sunday morning to nothing but the sounds of the birds outside is idyllic. 

On the otherhand, I visited family last summer, and staying with my cousin and her three boys (all under the age of 5) was total mayhem.

Love them to bits, but no way could I live with that level of noise and chaos on a constant basis. Four days was enough to confirm my life choice as correct!

So if you also cherish your peace and quiet, sounds like you’ve made the right choice too. 

9) You feel a sense of contribution beyond parenthood

Finally, I’m going to address a common argument that people put forward to those of us in the child-free realm, and that is that we’re not helping the human species by not having kids. 

That somehow, we’re selfish. 

But they couldn’t be further from the truth. 

If you actively do things to give back to society, whether that’s through your work, volunteering, or other activities, you’re contributing. 

There’s no two ways about it. 

In fact, I’d argue that you’re contributing significantly more than let’s say, a parent who raises spoiled and entitled children. 

And for that, you should feel proud and content with the decision you’ve made. 

Kiran Athar

Kiran is a freelance writer with a degree in multimedia journalism. She enjoys exploring spirituality, psychology, and love in her writing. As she continues blazing ahead on her journey of self-discovery, she hopes to help her readers do the same. She thrives on building a sense of community and bridging the gaps between people. You can reach out to Kiran on Twitter: @KiranAthar1

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