Adrian Volenik
We begin every new relationship with so many new hopes, dreams, and emotions. Being in a relationship truly is the world’s greatest thrill ride.
But everything that has ups also has its downs. And so, after some time, you may start feeling undervalued in your relationship.
You feel like your partner doesn’t prioritize you anymore, they don’t support you, and overall, they kind of take you for granted, right?
It happens to the best of us, and frankly, I’ve been on both sides of this. So, without delay, let me show you the signs that clearly reveal you’re definitely undervalued in your relationship.
1) You feel taken for granted
As we ease into a relationship, many of us start taking our partner for granted. You simply assume your partner will always be there to fulfill your needs or wants, even without reciprocating the effort.
But what does that do to your partner? They’re left feeling unvalued and unimportant in the relationship.
And so if your efforts aren’t acknowledged, and you’re feeling insignificant, you’re definitely undervalued in your relationship.
I mean, you put in so much effort to nurture the relationship or meet your partner’s needs, but they don’t notice or acknowledge it, leaving you feeling unappreciated.
Plus, even worse, they don’t even consider your needs, as I’ll cover next.
2) They don’t consider your needs
Does your partner consistently overlook or ignore what you want or need, whether it’s emotional support, quality time together, or help with tasks?
For example, they always come home and launch into their own day without asking about yours.
Or, despite knowing your dietary restrictions or preferences, they repeatedly choose restaurants or cook meals that don’t accommodate your needs.
That’s very inconsiderate, isn’t it? It means that they’re egocentric and/or don’t care about you (anymore).
And because they only think about themselves, the conversations are very much one-sided.
3) Communication feels one-sided
Conversations often feel like you’re doing most of the talking or listening, with little engagement or interest from your partner, right?
That’s no fun, obviously, and if it continues, you have to do something about it.
Express your feelings and encourage open dialogue. Changing communication patterns takes time and effort from both partners.
Be patient with each other as you work towards improving communication in your relationship.
But ultimately, effective communication is crucial for maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
If you can’t cross this major hurdle, it’s reasonable to think your relationship has no future.
4) There’s a power imbalance
If your partner exerts control or dominance in the relationship, making decisions unilaterally and expecting you to comply without question, you’re definitely undervalued in your relationship.
I don’t fault you for feeling resentment towards them, too.
This power imbalance often comes from only them earning a paycheck. They think they’re more important than you, so they don’t include you in important discussions or plans:
They effectively exclude you from important conversations or decisions about the future, leaving you on the sidelines in important matters.
And when they do allow you to share your opinion, they dismiss it.
5) Your opinions are dismissed or ignored
No one should have their thoughts, feelings, and perspectives routinely brushed aside or ignored. It’s just such a horrible way of making you feel dismissed and unheard.
When this starts to happen, you feel isolated or alone despite being in a relationship.
This feeling of loneliness and disconnect from your partner makes you feel as if you’re going through the challenges of life on your own.
And that’s not what you’ve signed up for, is it? A healthy relationship is one in which you feel loved and respected, and you can voice your opinions and concerns.
Sure, you can try talking to them about it, but I’m not sure you’ll have any meaningful results. When it gets to this point, nine times out of ten, I’m afraid it’s already too late.
6) Your partner doesn’t prioritize your happiness
You’re definitely undervalued in your relationship if your happiness and well-being aren’t one of the top concerns for your partner.
They don’t make efforts to ensure you’re content and fulfilled in the relationship. It’s like they’re more focused on their own happiness or other priorities.
But why is that so?
They may be preoccupied with their own concerns or simply aren’t attuned to your emotional needs.
Or they have different personal ambitions, career aspirations, or other life commitments that take precedence in their mind.
Then there’s also stress that might be affecting them, and they don’t see your happiness as a priority at the moment.
7) There’s a lack of affection or appreciation
Are you longing for those little gestures of affection, a hug, a kiss, or even a heartfelt compliment, but they seem few and far between?
And when you do something thoughtful or go out of your way for your partner, you’re met with silence or indifference instead of gratitude or acknowledgment.
When there’s no affection and appreciation, it means your relationship has become stale. You can try to revive it if there isn’t a more sinister underlying reason behind their selfish behavior.
8) They don’t celebrate your achievements
You’ve been working hard, maybe at your job, on a personal project, or even just trying to improve yourself.
You finally hit a milestone or achieve something you’re proud of. You can’t wait to share the good news with your partner, hoping for a big hug or a “way to go!”
But instead, you get a lukewarm response or, worse, they barely acknowledge your achievement.
And that’s devastating, isn’t it? After all, in a healthy relationship, you want your partner to be your biggest cheerleader, celebrating your successes right alongside you.
When that doesn’t happen, it makes you feel like something important is missing.
9) Criticism outweighs praise
When criticism outweighs praise in a relationship, it can feel like you’re constantly under a microscope.
You do your best at something, but instead of hearing “great job” or “thank you,” you’re more likely to hear about what you could have done better or what you did wrong.
This can really wear you down because everyone needs encouragement and recognition for their efforts.
But when all you’re getting is criticism, you start thinking you can’t do anything right, which isn’t a good feeling in any relationship.
10) Your partner isn’t supportive of your goals
You know, for the longest time, I wanted to quit my nine-to-five and get a job that’s more flexible and can be done from anywhere.
Now, that wouldn’t be possible if my wife wasn’t on board with that and encouraged me all the way until I made it possible.
I have friends who have had similar aspirations. Still, they could never get them fulfilled because their partners weren’t supportive of their dreams and goals.
If your partner doesn’t offer encouragement or help when it comes to pursuing your aspirations and dreams, you’ll always feel unsupported and unempowered.
There’s just no ifs, buts, and maybes about it.
11) Your partner doesn’t make time for you
There are probably dozens of signs you’re undervalued in your relationship. But let’s stop at this one where your partner prioritizes other activities or commitments over spending quality time with you.
You’re juggling your responsibilities, maybe work, family, or personal commitments, and you’re looking forward to spending some quality time with your partner.
But when you try to make plans or just hang out together, they’re always too busy or preoccupied with other things. You’re constantly competing with their schedule for attention and affection.
It seems like everything and everyone comes before you, and that’s not a great feeling.
In a healthy relationship, making time for each other is crucial for building intimacy and connection.
When one partner consistently fails to do that, it starts straining the relationship. It also leaves you feeling pretty lonely and isolated.
Final thoughts
Relationships require effort and understanding from both sides, right? If you aren’t feeling valued or heard enough, it’s time to have a serious conversation with your partner about how you’re feeling and what changes you both can make to strengthen your connection.
The thing is, they’re not going to wake up one day and say, “Wow, I’ve been really neglecting my partner in the last few months. Time to change!”
That’s not what happens in real life, is it? If you don’t stand up for yourself and try to change things, your relationship is only going to get worse.
