Clifton Kopp
Genuinely mature men are far rarer than you think.
Any man can fake maturity by, say, dressing well or sticking his chest out. But true maturity comes from deep within.
You see, past the facade, the truth is that many men in the world emotionally and mentally haven’t quite grown up yet.
Sometimes though, making the distinction can be a little challenging. But there will always be tells.
In this article, I’ll take you through the telltale signs of an incredibly immature man. Let’s get to it!
1) Avoidance of responsibility
A significant part of being an adult is dealing with the consequences of your actions.
So, if you’re a man and still not up to accepting responsibility when you’re wrong, you’re likely still quite immature.
Real men know that mistakes in this life are inevitable; they’re given; it’s how you bounce
back that will ultimately define you.
But when you’re immature, when you haven’t truly embraced your adulthood, you don’t tend to have the latter vision.
You actively avoid the negative feelings or the discomfort that comes with being wrong.
Instead, you’ll seek to blame others for your own mistakes and shortcomings, rather than stepping up to the plate and owning up to them.
2) Poor impulse control
Mature men are cool and collected; they’re patient and always in control.
Immature men, however, often act on impulses rather than calmly thinking things through, without thinking of repercussions.
As you grow, you tend to learn from your mistakes and act accordingly.
So if a man is still acting rashly, he probably isn’t growing. It’s just that simple.
Men who act impulsively often go on spending sprees without considering their financial status.
They might indulge in excess food and drink without considering things like health and responsibilities. Or they might go on emotional outbursts without considering how their behavior can affect other people.
Typical childish behavior is acting impulsively without thinking of consequences.
So if a man tends to have poor impulse control, always seeking instant gratification, he’s likely quite immature too.
3) Difficulty with commitment
The thing about commitment is that it requires hard work.
And guess what? Many immature men aren’t into hard work.
Sure, they might convince everyone, themselves included, that they’re up to the task, but when it comes down to it, they often fail to deliver.
So whether it’s committing to a relationship, a job, or even making plans with friends, an immature man will often struggle to stick to his commitments, disenchanting many in the process.
This is why immature men tend to jump from relationship to relationship, or from job to job… rather than put their heads down and see things through, at the slightest appearance of an obstacle or setback, they’ll jump ship and move on to the next.
Not good.
4) Inability to handle conflict
As mentioned, mature men tend to be in control of their emotions.
They have a high degree of self-awareness and thus have the ability to take a step back and calmly think things through before reacting.
Immature men don’t often have this level of emotional regulation.
Rather than be mature and graceful about handling conflict, they’ll block out issues, throw tantrums, or resort to nasty personal attacks.
They can be overly sensitive, and liable to explode at any given moment like a petulant toddler who isn’t getting his way.
Small, solvable problems can quickly escalate into major issues due to his inability to manage emotions and conflict effectively.
5) Lack of long-term goals
I’m all about living in the moment but there are limits to this.
At some point, if you want to go anywhere in life, you have to sit down and create tangible, achievable goals in life.
Mature men own their existence; they welcome adulthood and the challenges and sacrifices that come with it rather than resist them.
So if a man is simply coasting through life with no real plans for the future, this ultimately is a testament to his maturity as a person.
6) Dependency on others for happiness
I know men who are incapable of being alone.
They’ll jump from partner to partner, needing someone else to fulfill what they perceive to be lacking internally.
Mature men are all about accepting their independence, thus they have minimal fear of solitude.
Whereas their immature counterparts might heavily depend on others for happiness, a mature man will always be self-sufficient in managing his feelings.
He knows that true contentment ultimately comes from within, not from other people, and his actions often reflect that.
7) Reluctance to accept feedback
A few years ago, I opened a restaurant.
It was my first foray into food… and entrepreneurship in general.
I was a rookie–but fortunately, I was able to enjoy some moderate success in the beginning.
Word got around… and for a few months, we had lines out the door.
Though I was the new kid on the block, the success got to my head.
Then I came across a few humbling reviews online; people complaining about the food, service, and so on.
Rather than take the very valid criticism in stride as any business owner should, rookie or veteran, I lashed out, rejecting the feedback, sometimes going as far as debating with the customers.
Talk about what not to do.
These days, in my more mature and wisened state, I take a far more humble approach toward external criticism and feedback.
Rather than viewing criticism as a personal attack, I use it constructively, as an opportunity to improve and get better; anything less is frankly immature behavior.
It takes a real man to take feedback and come back stronger. Real talk.
8) Childish interests and behaviors
Sure, your interests and hobbies may not necessarily define you fundamentally… but coupled with a few other signs, your interests can reveal a lot about your level of maturity in life.
For instance, an immature man will often engage in behaviors and hobbies that are widely considered age-inappropriate.
Maybe he spends a disproportionate number of his waking hours playing video games, or maybe he has an unhealthy preoccupation with fantasy sports, or maybe he gets blackout drunk multiple times a week.
You get the gist.
When you grow up and evolve, so do your interests, behaviors, your outlook, and so on.
