If you recognize these 14 signs, you genuinely enjoy being alone

For some reason, people think you’re lonely when you’re alone.

They ask you questions like “Don’t you have friends?”, “Are you SURE you’re okay?”, or even “Are you depressed?”

They say it like there must be something wrong with you—that it’s JUST NOT OKAY for someone to be genuinely okay when they’re alone.

Well then, next time, don’t just tell them you’re fine. Tell them exactly why.

Here are 14 signs you genuinely enjoy being alone.

1) You’re alone by choice

You have friends. You have a partner. You have a family.

In other words, you’re not alone simply because you’re running out of people to hang out with. You’re alone because you WANT to be alone!

And if you’re single, same thing. 

You have options to settle down and commit if you really want to. It’s just that, well, you simply don’t want to—plain and simple.

2) You always look forward to your “me time”

Ah yes. Date nights with yourself. It’s your idea of perfect happiness.

After being surrounded by people all week long, you recharge by being completely alone

You play good music, drink a glass of wine, and take your time in the shower. Then you cook yourself a good meal like you’re some kind of VIP. 

It just gives you so much joy.

That’s why you seriously wonder how some people can be happy without being completely alone at least once in a while.

3) You feel good when plans get canceled

Your friend messages your group chat “Hey guys, sorry I can’t make it tonight. Can we reschedule?”

Do you get annoyed? 

Of course not!

You feel a bit bummed but then a second later, you realize you have free time to actually enjoy yourself!!!

You do miss your friends and you enjoy hanging out with them, but being alone just makes you, well, happy.

4) You talk to yourself a lot

Since you’re little, you regularly talk to yourself. And not just in your mind, but out loud. 

When you’re thinking of what to cook for dinner, you say “Alright Bruce, what feast shall we prepare for you tonight?” 

And when you’re feeling down, you talk to yourself as if you’re a life coach. You say “ Cindy, that guy is a piece of trash. Do you think you deserve trash?”

If you’re to be honest, you actually enjoy talking to yourself more than talking to some of the people you know.

5) You’re highly observant

Your hobbies include: people-watching, eavesdropping, inventing dialogues in your head while watching people talk.

And you can’t do these things when you’re with people—even if they’re just your partner and they don’t utter a word.

You NEED to be completely alone while you observe the world. That’s the only time you’re able to truly pay attention to the nuances.

6) You’re a bit of a nonconformist

Some say you’re a “rebel” or “a bit of an assh*le”, which is unfair because you’re not doing anything. You simply don’t give a damn about what others think!

You want to honor yourself by doing what makes you truly happy. So what if they think you’re antisocial or that there’s something wrong with you? 

The question is why do we always have to socialize?

You know yourself and you don’t want to be pressured to act in a certain way just to be “more social” and “more friendly”.

You’re fine the way you are and if people don’t get that, it’s on them.

7) You’re comfortable eating alone in public

Why do people feel bad when they’re eating alone in a cafeteria? You just don’t get it. It’s not like we’re in a high school sitcom. 

You love eating alone. It’s a good pause after being surrounded by colleagues or classmates all morning.

In fact, you even sometimes go to fancy restaurants to date yourself. And boy, do you enjoy doing that! 

8) You come up with your best ideas while you’re alone

If you’re a writer, a thinker, or a creative of any kind…alone time is simply a must. 


You need to reach some level of transcendence in order for ideas to flow through you! And when people are around, that’s just impossible to do.

So, yes, you’d really rather be completely alone when you’re working. It doesn’t make you a snob, it’s just part of your job.

9) You get exhausted being around people for too long

There are just too many things happening (and too many things to think about) when you’re with others. 

You have to pay attention to body language, proximity, facial expression, and group dynamics to name a few.

And it takes a lot of work. Not only do you feel compelled to listen to people, you also feel pressured to say anything to make the conversation flowing.

And all of these people-ing just drains you.

10) You don’t read books like “How to Make Friends”

You don’t care about changing yourself to become more sociable because…well, because why would you?

You DON’T want to be sociable. You’re fine being who you are.

In fact, if there’s a book you’d want to read, it would be something like “How to be Alone Without Offending People”.

You’re totally fine being alone and you see no point in changing yourself just so people would feel comfortable.

11) You prefer to travel solo

Your friends and family will probably hate you if you let them know about this but…you really just find it exhausting to travel with them.

You have to cater to their needs, you have to plan as a group, and you also can’t just be completely quiet. So not only do you have to take care of logistics, you have to make sure they’re having fun. 

Pheww. A lot of work!

That’s why the best moments of travel for you are the ones you did alone. You can just be cool and do whatever it is you please. And the most important thing of all? You don’t have to talk.

12) You get crabby when you’re with your partner for so long

You love your partner with all your heart but you don’t want to be with them 24/7.

No way! It will drive you nuts.

When you’re together for a long time, you find excuses to be alone because you need to breathe. So you go to the toilet or take longer showers or pretend that you’re working.

You enjoy being alone and if that’s taken away from you, you become unwell.

13) You feel relief when people leave

You love it when people visit your home or your cubicle, but only if they won’t stay so long.

That’s why when they say “I don’t want to go but my wife’s waiting for me” or “Sorry, I need to rush.”, you feel relief.

You show a sad face and say “Aww, so soon” but deep inside you’re ecstatic.

No offense to these awesome friends, but you really just enjoy solitude. Besides, you have stuff to do and they’re best done when you’re not entertaining others.

14) You don’t feel sorry for people who live alone

Single since birth? Divorced at 50? An only child? 

You don’t feel sorry for them. You kinda actually envy them!

So you don’t get why people go “Aww, they must be so lonely” or “Gosh, I can’t imagine what that would be like.”

Because to you, being alone means being free.  

And if you’ll end up alone when you’re older, you won’t see yourself as a failure because you truly believe it’s fun being alone.

Last words

If you’re the kind of person who genuinely enjoys being alone, it can be annoying when people question you for it.

And it’s even more annoying when they feel sorry for you. But don’t mind them. You don’t owe them any explanation!

Just enjoy your life the way you want to. 

And if you can (and if you want), teach them the beauty of solitude and silence, and the joy of being alone

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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