Four months ago, I went through a breakup.
Now I’m single. Again.
And I haven’t been this happy in ages. Again.
Over the years, I’ve realized that every time a relationship ends, I begin to thrive. I re-discover myself in new ways. I grow professionally and artistically. Hell, I even look better.
If you recognize these 8 signs, the single life brings out the best in you, too.
1) Glow-up incoming…
Let’s not kid ourselves. Breakups are incredibly difficult. In one quick snap, the person who meant the world to you is now gone, all your memories and plans slowly disappearing into the wide-open jaws of the past.
But once you’ve cried your heart out, ranted to all your friends a thousand times, and listened to enough angry breakup songs, the very first sign that the single life is going to bring something amazing into your life is slowly creeping up on you.
And that’s a glow-up.
Glow-ups are a real thing – some psychologists refer to them as post-traumatic growth, which is what occurs when a traumatic event in your life helps you re-discover yourself, forge stronger relationships with others, and gain an appreciation for the wonders that life brings.
Glow-ups can take on many different forms. You can flourish professionally, you might revamp your wardrobe and get a haircut (it’s done wonders for my self-esteem), or you may pick up new hobbies and build more friendships.
Whatever path you choose, your glow-up will do two things:
- Skyrocket your confidence
- Help you feel more optimistic and hopeful about the future
Oh, and let’s not forget that…
2) You’re light as a bird
It’s as if a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders.
And no wonder. Romantic relationships consume huge amounts of energy, especially if they’re riddled with issues that eventually lead to a breakup.
No matter how much you loved your ex, let’s be honest – in many ways, the relationship was a huge burden.
But now… you’re free to go anywhere and do anything you damn please. Your mind space has been freed up, and instead of crying over another argument, you can invest that effort into reading good books, making your dreams come true, and looking after yourself.
And this doesn’t apply only to people who have gone through a breakup, mind you – it’s also the case for those who have spent the majority of their lives happily single.
While your friends are ranting about their partners, you can’t help but smile because you’re free of all that baggage.
Freedom tastes wonderful.
3) You’re actively working toward your goals
Another sign that the single life brings out the best in you is that you feel incredibly motivated to create your absolute dream life.
My flatmate and I are now both single, and we spend our evenings working on our dream projects, looking after her friend’s puppy, and hyping ourselves up.
It’s as amazing as it sounds, and seeing as I spent my days crying my eyes out just half a year ago, I count that as a massive improvement.
Not to mention that many couples spend their evenings watching TV and eating take-out, and without a TV show partner, you can put all that time toward your goals, be it writing a book, landing a great job, or opening a DIY store.
Now’s the time of your life when you get to prioritize yourself.
4) You enjoy having your own space
I wouldn’t call myself a meticulously clean person.
Sometimes, it takes me a week to fold my laundry. Sometimes, I don’t vacuum for ages. And sometimes, I hoard four different mugs in my bedroom until I undergo the walk of shame to the kitchen where I wash them all up.
But after having lived with a partner, I’ve come to realize that I’m at my absolute best when I have my own space. It may be a bit messy from time to time, but it’s my mess, which basically means it’s just an unorganized organization I know my way around.
I love that I get to create my own bookshelf system. I love knowing where everything goes. I love that there are no wires, spare change, and random trinkets littering my space.
Of course, that doesn’t mean I won’t enjoy sharing a house with someone one day – but for now, I absolutely adore having my own bedroom.
It’s where I feel most productive and at peace. It’s where I get to thrive on my own terms.
5) You’re constantly learning something new about yourself
I’ve been evolving in new directions my whole life, but if there’s one period where I underwent the biggest transformation, it was my four years of singledom before I turned twenty-one.
I dare say that in those four years, I basically established my whole identity. I grew more confident in who I was and what I wanted. I was constantly in flux, learning new bits and pieces about my personality and trying out different things.
When you’re in love, that person becomes the planet around which you orbit.
But when you’re single, you are the planet itself. And now more than ever, you put a great deal of effort into ensuring the planet flourishes in all its glory.
You journal. You try out new hobbies. You go outside your comfort zone.
And every step of the way, you are getting in touch with your authentic self.
6) Your friendships are stronger than ever before
If there’s one thing I dislike about romantic relationships, it’s that friendships often tend to take the backseat.
Of course, this isn’t the case for everybody, but personally, I’ve lost a friend or two to their new boyfriends.
When you’re single, though… that’s when your friendships get to steal the spotlight.
And you know what they say. Partners will come and go, but friends will stay.
7) You’re genuinely happy being on your own
I’ve recently seen a video that deeply resonated with me. The person said, “If you want to be with me, you aren’t competing against other people. You’re competing against me. And I’m hard to beat.”
Frankly, I’m very happy on my own. That’s just a fact. I feel at peace, I get to focus on myself, and I don’t have to deal with unnecessary drama.
If someone wants to walk into my life, they are competing against that peace I’ve established. They have to show me that they can bring something even better than the happiness I feel when I’m single.
If you can relate, it’s a huge sign that the single life brings out the best in you.
8) Being single at this time in your life feels right
A few months into being single, I realized this was exactly what I needed.
A new chapter in my life. A period of time where my dreams become my primary focus. No man-shaped distractions.
So, the eighth sign on our list is all about your gut instinct. Does singledom feel right? Or do you feel ready to forge a romantic connection with someone new?
And before we part, here’s one last thing to remember: choosing to be single is always better than choosing to be with the wrong person.