Liv Walde
We’ve all crossed paths with them at some point – the fakes, imposters, and the plain old liars out there.
Their words may sound sweet (bittersweet, maybe), but their actions tell a different story.
Exposing these fraudsters in their tracks so you avoid getting hurt by their inconsistent behavior is a great way to protect your peace and make sure your relationships are with genuine individuals only.
So, join me as we delve into the world of inauthenticity and delve into the 10 behaviors fake and inauthentic people often engage in.
Who knows – this might just change the way you view some people in your life!
1) Acting like a social chameleon
One minute, they’re loud and extroverted and the talk of the town.
The next, they’re quiet and subdued and fading into the shadows.
And yes, confidence does ebb and flow for many people – but in addition, some people make the most of playing a character and change their personalities according to whoever they’re currently with.
They’re the beer-loving, soccer-playing pizza girl in the company of certain men.
Or the fashion-knowing, gym-obsessed cardio bunny when surrounded by a whole other crowd.
According to the social requirements they believe present, they chop and change whom they show up as in an attempt to win crowds over and gain attention.
In fact, they’ve spent so long doing this, they don’t even know who they are underneath the facade anymore…
2) Words and actions don’t align
‘Actions speak louder than words’, does here not apply.
Fake and inauthentic individuals will often promise the world with their words, but when it comes to delivering on those promises, they deliver very little whatsoever.
They tell people they will be there whenever needed, make a big show of ascribing themselves as kind and benevolent, and martyr themselves as willing to go out of their way to help others.
But when it comes down to the actual doing, not just the saying, they vanish into thin air.
3) Desperate to people please
As mentioned above, these types of individuals promise the world at the drop of a hat.
They’ll bend over backwards trying to be your best friend, and offer up their services readily (although they rarely show up when actually needed).
Equally, they’ll quickly forget their own views and opinions to desperately agree with someone else and try to show that person how great of a follower they are.
What this comes down to is pure inauthenticity; they’re willing to stab their own opinions in the back to get ahead and try desperately to win over people from all directions to climb the social ladder to what they envision to be success.
4) Thirsty for attention
Validation vampires, these types love being in the spotlight.
Even grazing their knee will turn into a big, staged play – dramatized with loud yelps and fat tears for effect.
They often have a deep-seated need for attention and validation from others, as it (for a short time) quietens their own feelings of dissatisfaction and makes them feel mildly better about themselves.
They live to be the center of attention, often doing whatever it takes to keep the spotlight on them.
Think tall tales and exaggerated stories, steering each and every conversation back to themselves, or even resorting to dramatic behavior just to ensure all eyes are on them (like that poor grazed knee…woe is me!)
Genuine individuals tend to be far more comfortable in their own skin and don’t require constant affirmation from others just to get by. Grazing their knee will still sting, but they won’t turn it into a dramatized soap opera.
5) Source of all gossip
They just seem to have one finger in every pie and know everybody’s business.
And whilst gossiping might seem harmless at first, a person who frequently engages in rumors and gossip spreading is likely demonstrating inauthenticity.
Because privacy and respect for personal issues are paramount to healthy relationships. In addition, gossiping tends to lead to convoluted lies and falsities being spread, many of which are harmful and untrue.
Genuine people, on the other hand, tend to avoid harmful gossip, focusing instead on uplifting and positive conversations.
So, if someone is always ready to dish out the latest gossip, it might be a sign that they’re not all too honest or genuine as they might appear.
6) Never vulnerable or authentically emotional
…unless it’s serving a purpose.
These individuals tend to have their true feelings, hopes, dreams, and desires under lock and key.
They think their authentic emotions are a weakness, so whilst they might pretend to be feeling one emotion, it’s rarely true to what is actually going on inside their heads,
Most of the time, they seem unmoved and emotionless when it comes to even difficult life obstacles they might face.
No sadness, no fear, no trepidation; just a forced smile and steely exterior, as they hide from their true feelings and put on a show of complete, faultless perfection.
7) Apathetic
Authentic people tend to be empathetic towards the plights and struggles of the world around.
But the fake and inauthentic out there, they tend not to sympathize so much with other people’s suffering.
Sure, the fake ones might pretend to be nice and sweet and caring, but you usually will detect something a little off about their behavior.
Or, they’ll turn their empathy on and off for when it suits them, or for when there’s something to be gained from a situation.
What’s more likely to happen is that they meet stories of hardship and suffering with barely contained disdain, as they have zero compassion towards anyone but themselves.
8) Extremely manipulative for their own benefit
The fake and the frauds out there love trying to spin stories and manipulate other people to their advantage.
Authenticity, on the other hand, means showing up honestly and not using other people for your own benefit.
But inauthentic individuals often play pretend at all the points we’ve covered above.
They might slink into a character role and use the pretenses of empathy or kindness, but more often than not, they do this because they know that creating a sense of trust and intimacy makes people more inclined to do their bidding.
Equally, they have no issues with lies or deception if it means that they seem wise or pitiful, leading to other people trusting them and falling at their feet.
9) Never present in the moment
Genuine people are typically engaged in conversations, attentive, and show interest in those around them.
Inauthentic individuals, on the other hand, will often seem distant or preoccupied, their minds elsewhere even during conversations.
Think glancing repeatedly at their phones mid-conversation, drifting off and yawning when you’re talking about something important, or replying only with non-committal responses.
In other words, they might be physically present, but they don’t really deem you worthy of their full attention…
10) Everything is a competition
A healthy level of competition can be a good thing, don’t get me wrong.
A bit of rivalry stokes the fire and can push us to strive for better and achieve our goals.
But these inauthentic people, they often take competition to an unhealthy extreme.
They live in a world where everything is a case of winning or losing.
On top of that, they constantly compare themselves to others and tend to value their self-worth based on how they stack up against everyone else.
Not winning at something even so trivial as a game of cards drives them into a deep pit of jealous envy, where they feel like everyone is the enemy and they’ll never be good enough.
Being happy on someone else’s behalf?
Not for these types of individuals!
Winning at all costs, even at the expense of relationships, is usually what they have their sights set on.
