Even the word ‘soulmate’ is a little controversial nowadays.
Twin flames, love of your life…it’s all up for debate.
Now, call me old fashioned, but I’m a hopeless romantic.
And if you’re anything like me, you’re a sucker for love.
The whole soul ties and fated lovers is your favorite plot story, and growing old side by side with the love of your life is by far your biggest dream.
There is someone out there for everyone, and I find that beautiful.
So, have you met your soulmate?
Let’s dive into these 5 signs that suggest you have to find out:
1) Nostos, or the feeling of returning home
‘Nostos’ is the term used in Ancient Greek literature to describe the homecoming of a hero.
You might well not be a hero (at least in your eyes. In mine you are!).
But if you recognize that feeling of safety, of being in your childhood bedroom surrounded by your favorite plushes or toys whenever you’re with your person, that’s a pretty damn good sign.
Maybe this even happened the first time you met.
A lil’ love at first sight style: your eyes lock, and it’s like a jolt of electric tingles surges through you.
The butterflies start batting away in your tummy, and you feel engulfed in warmth.
Trust me – this is no coincidence. You’re not overthinking it at all.
Any feelings of immediate unexplained safety brought on by another person’s presence (in a world where we panic a lot, too), is a vivid green flag.
2) Being challenged
My soulmate is supposed to challenge me?!
I thought they were my home?!
Newsflash – they can be both!
Soulmates are supposed to be our safe space, our home.
At the same time, they should ideally know our strengths, our weaknesses, and when we need that little bit of encouragement.
They (gently) push us outside of our comfort zone.
And yes, a sense of unease often follows, but it’s accompanied by growth.
You barely realize it, but you’re evolving because of them.
And you can go home to them (your safe space) at the end of the day.
It’s important to let go of the idea that love should always be comfortable, and if it’s not comfortable, it’s not love.
It’s quite the opposite, in fact.
This process of being challenged and growing in a positive, upward direction, is a surefire sign that you’ve met someone extra special.
3) Unspoken understanding
Ever spent hours in their company in complete silence, and it’s not awkward?
And it’s not a case of not having anything to talk about (because that wouldn’t be such a good sign).
You even communicate at times without words…
A knowing glance, a shared smile, the gentle squeeze of a pinky finger.
Feeling able to sit in silence, maybe even partake in your own hobbies in one another’s company, is a wonderful thing to share.
You can talk and talk for hours and never get bored.
But you can also sit with them endlessly in comfortable silence, feeling blessed by their presence yet without any pressure to chit chat mindlessly just to fill in the gaps.
4) Shared dreams
Contrary to what some people believe, you don’t need to find someone who is your mirror-match to have found your soulmate.
You might share some dreams and interests, but you can also build them together.
However, how good does it feel when you do meet that special someone and it becomes glaringly obvious: you do dream the same dreams.
Your aspirations, your goals, your vision for the future – they are all remarkably similar.
And what better way to work towards those goals than with someone who is already on the same path?
Equally, you can begin to build dreams with a soulmate.
Just because you have different visions doesn’t mean you’re not meant to be.
Quite the opposite, in fact.
Sometimes the universe sends us people who compliment our dreams yet add their own flare, or open our eyes to new pathways that make us far happier than if we had walked the same road, alone.
5) Exceptional conflict resolution
“He can’t be my soulmate….we argue, and soulmates can’t possibly ever argue!”
Take a moment to think about the arguments you’ve had with them.
Yes, you heard right – the disagreements. It might seem odd to associate arguments with soulmates, but it’s a reality we can’t ignore.
Arguments, when approached constructively, often lead to better understanding and growth in a relationship.
They offer an opportunity to view things from different perspectives.
And these disagreements are set up not in a win-lose format, but rather working towards finding middle ground, or a compromise which benefits both parties and allows for emotional growth.
The disagreements you have with your soulmate never stem from malice or the desire to win, but rather from the desire to better understand one another and improve your connection.
Sure, they might be challenging and uncomfortable, but these periods of strife actually end up strengthening your bond.
There’s few things more akin to an amber flag than a couple who smile sweetly and tell you that they’ve never, ever argued.
Because one day, some issue will inevitably come up. And if they don’t have the tools to overcome that argument, things will start to sour quickly.
While the above signs might indicate you’ve met your soulmate, it’s important to emphasize that each person’s journey in love is unique.
Not everyone may experience these exact patterns and in no way does that diminish the value of their relationship. Love, in all its forms, is beautiful and meaningful.
Meeting your soulmate, if that’s what it truly is, can be a deeply spiritual and transformative experience.
But equally, many people find happiness, love, and fulfillment in relationships that don’t necessarily exhibit all these soulmate signs.
So whether you’ve met your soulmate or a fantastic life partner, cherish the bond you’ve formed and the happiness you’ve discovered together.
Love knows many shapes, and all of them are beautiful in their own right.