If you’re invested in relationship dynamics, you’ve no doubt heard of the three attachment styles before; anxious, avoidant, secure.
The latter being a bit like a unicorn of the relationship world, I’m guessing you fall either into the category of being a bit anxious about yourself and whether your partner is about to up and leave you.
Or as an avoidant you want to be loved, but you’re also terrified of it.
As a self-confessed anxious lover myself, I’ve had to work hard to teach myself how to relax into my partner’s love and reassurance.
And whilst at the end of the day, anything can happen, there are ways in which you can assure your anxious and doubtful mind that your partner is in it for the long run.
These 8 signs will help you to gradually believe that your partner does in fact love you more than you realize:
1) They never make you feel second-best
Listen, I get that life comes up.
You make plans, something more important materializes, and plan A needs to be put on hold.
You always need to take such circumstances into account.
But if you never err into feeling like your partner is putting you second (or third, fourth, fifth) place in contention with family, work, friends and so on, you’re doing pretty well.
We tend to put those we love on such a pedestal, they come first in our lives.
2) They’re quick to say sorry
If your partner digs their heels in mid-argument and refuses to back down, let alone meet in the middle, I’ve got some bad news for you.
But if they’ll readily admit fault, even if it’s not their mistake, just to appease the situation, they sure do love you.
Don’t encourage this behavior or take it for granted though.
Relationships should always involve give and take, which means healthy communication and compromises which are based on the feelings of both partners.
Not just the one that’s eager to say sorry and makeup.
3) They’re consistent in their communication
Ahhh, you’re so in love. It’s all butterflies and roses and visions of marriage.
And then your partner goes on holiday and BAM, no message for a week.
As I stressed above, life is busy.
It pulls you in different directions and gets in the way, but not finding even a minute to text your other half is a bad sign.
But if you can count on your partner to check in, ask how your day is going, or even just send you a cute selfie or funny meme, you’re on their radar even when you’re not physically together.
4) You’ve been introduced to the parents
(At least for most).
Jumping the gun and meeting all the extended family on date 3 is slightly suspicious and verging into love bombing, but if you’ve been seeing each other a reasonable amount of time, meeting your partner’s family is a sign that they truly value you.
They’re hardly going to take a one-night stand back to Mum and Dad’s now, are they?
Meeting parents and family (however daunting) is almost always a sign that your partner loves you and sees a committed future with you at their side.
5) They want to spend all their time with you
“Where are you going?”
“Oh, just off to get some milk.”
“Can I come?”
Someone who truly loves you will want to bask in your presence at every opportunity. Even at the grocery store.
Whilst codependency isn’t to be encouraged, if you notice that your partner is eager to tag along to meet your friends, partake in your hobbies, or otherwise do anything that involves being in your presence, they likely adore you.
6) They talk about your shared future
Are baby names popping up?
If not that, future cat/dog/hamster names?
Have they already found the IKEA sofa they’ll purchase for your shared home?
Expressing visions and ideas for a shared future is your partner’s way of conveying how when they close their eyes and think of their future, they see you.
That’s a pretty big commitment which is only achieved through a sincere devotion.
7) They plan date nights
A bit of a grey area as whilst I love my partner deeply and I at least think the feeling is mutual, we both hate planning.
However, people in love usually bend over backwards to come up with fun and invigorating activities to whisk away their lovers and give them the best times.
Paris for the weekend!
8-course dining experiences!
You name it, it’ll end up in your calendar as your lover wracks their brains to find fun ways to spend time with you and make the most of your time together.
8) They’ve learned your love language
Say initially in your relationship, you’re still a bit unaccustomed to one another.
Your partner keeps bringing you bouquets of flowers or chocolates, when really, you like to be loved through physical touch.
In fact, you crave hand-holding and warm hugs and someone running their fingers through your hair.
Someone who loves you, truly madly deeply, will learn this.
I wouldn’t be surprised if this person has sussed you out and tailored the way in which they express their love to you in the way that you want it.
So they do love me?
If you can relate to the above signs, you’ve got a romantic on your hands.
Being truly loved is such a blessing that many don’t have the pleasure of experiencing.
But be careful not to take it for granted, nor to take advantage of such a tender devotion.
And if your head is plagued with doubts and you suffer from relationship anxiety or other insecurities, rest assured that actions such as the above speak louder than words.
A partner engaging in these behaviors is showing you that they love you.
Listen to them and believe them when they do.