Marcel Deer
I feel like there was a definite point in my life when I was born again.
I’m not talking about a religious experience, however.
I feel like there was things point in life when I suddenly woke up. While I’d generally floated through life in the past like a leaf on a stream, I suddenly realized that I was more like a boat that could be paddled this way and that.
I realized that I could take some control of my life and also make some major changes that were really necessary.
So, I know just what it’s like to want to start over, and I was lucky enough to be able to do it.
It wasn’t easy, but what I found out can help you do the same thing. Huge, sweeping changes are just way too hard to maintain, and you usually end up falling back to where you were before.
But if you can change little things like individual habits one by one, they’ll eventually add up to that whole new life you’re aiming for.
So, if you really want to start over in life, say goodbye to these seven habits, and you’ll be able to build something totally new.
1) Being indecisive
Where does indecision come from?
I’d say it’s the result of two factors – low self-confidence and a lack of clear goals.
If you have faith in yourself and your ability to make good choices, you’re going to find yourself waffling all the time. You’ll flip-flop back and forth between your options because you can see the positives and negatives of both of them.
But the second you have confidence in yourself is the moment you can say, “This is the option for me,” and go with it. This is about trusting your intuition and your judgment and having the confidence to take the plunge and make a choice.
Of course, it’s really hard to know what option is going to be the best for you if you have no goals in the first place.
Should you eat noodles or steak for dinner? Depends on what you want to get out of that meal, doesn’t it?
Should I go in a power suit or dress casually? Well, what matters here is the impression you’re trying to give with your outfit or how you want to feel in it.
If you have no clear goals in your life, start a new habit of setting some.
You don’t need a goal for every little thing you do, but some overarching goals will give you direction in your life.
Then, when decisions come your way, the right choice will be a lot more obvious. The right choice is the one that brings you closer to your goal.
2) Procrastinating
This is one of the habits that is no doubt bringing your old life down.
But don’t worry; now that you’re starting over, you have the chance to get rid of this useless and negative habit.
What is procrastination if not your present self causing major problems for your future self?
Every time that you decide to put something off until tomorrow, you’re creating a burden that your future self will have to carry. But if you turned things around and started to do them today instead, you’d be doing your future self a big favor every day.
How can you get over this habit?
Start by pushing yourself to do just one thing that you don’t want to do. If you really want to get things going quickly, choose the thing you want to avoid the most and make yourself do it anyway.
Once you can make yourself do one thing, one more is less of a struggle. Then after one more and another after that, you’ve licked your procrastination habit and become an anticrastinator!
3) Seeking comfort
Have you always lived your life looking for comfort, for the easy way, or for actions without risks?
It’s time to throw this habit away and start over.
If you’re always trying to keep things comfortable, guess where you are?
Yep, right in your comfort zone, and that’s a place that, like an overly small plant pot, gives you no room to grow.
Instead, you should look to challenges to allow yourself to grow and develop as a person.
No doubt, you’ll run into tricky situations. You’ll struggle, and you’ll fail.
But you’ll also push past your self-imposed limits and experience a whole lot more of life!
Challenges and even failure will help to temper your character and your skills.
By accepting challenges, you’ll learn more about yourself and what you’re capable of.
By learning from failure, you’ll know what to do right next time.
Or, you know, you can stay in the same place that you know will never offer you any challenges.
It’s up to you.
4) Telling yourself you can’t do it
Call it negative self-talk.
Call it self-sabotage.
Call it what you will, but telling yourself you can’t do things or you won’t succeed is one of the worst things that you can do to yourself.
You’re not even waiting around for other people to limit you – you’re limiting yourself and putting obstacles in your own way.
For what?
Most of this comes down to self-confidence.
If you find that you always tell yourself not to try because you won’t succeed, it shows that you don’t believe in yourself and your abilities.
So what’s easier to do, build your self-confidence, or stop telling yourself you can’t do it?
This might be one of those fake-it-‘til-you-make-it moments where you have to listen to that voice inside your head that says give up and then do it anyway.
Break this bad habit by force, and you’ll end up finding that you can do many of the things you told yourself not to bother with. And once you see that you can, a boost in your confidence will follow.
5) Doing everything yourself
If you want it done right, you have to do it yourself… right?
That old saying forgets to mention that it doesn’t refer to absolutely everything in the whole world.
It only makes sense if you have the best skills and the most attentiveness to do the job yourself. It doesn’t mean that you should never rely on anyone else to do anything for you.
That would be nuts!
There’s a reason why we have the concept of division of labor, after all.
Even if you’re the best in the world at something, you’re certainly not the best in the world at everything that needs doing.
Imagine you’re a brilliant skateboarder.
Does that mean you should film, edit, produce, and market all your own videos? Sheesh – why not make your own skateboards while you’re at it?
No, this is a habit or even a mindset that you can throw in the trash if you want to start over in life.
We all need other people, and it makes complete sense to do the things we’re best at and leverage other people’s skills in other areas.
No matter what you’re trying to accomplish, bring in other people, and it will be way better – I promise!
6) Working too hard
Most people tell themselves that if they can just work a little harder and push themselves that little bit more, they’ll make more money and be more successful.
It may be true, but you have to think about what you’re giving up when you work harder.
Are you giving up some of the energy you would have had to do other things?
Maybe it’s time that you normally would have spent somewhere else.
In the end, working harder means giving more effort or more hours, and they have to come from somewhere.
So, instead of working harder, why not start working smarter?
Every day, new apps come out that can send you down more and more rabbit holes. However, there are also incredible tools that get developed that can help you streamline your work in hundreds of different ways.
Use technology when you can to make your life easier and your work more efficient.
Even more useful than new tech is better planning.
Instead of working too hard, start taking more time to plan your day and prioritize the tasks you need to do. You’ll quickly find that you’ll forget less, so you’ll waste less time.
You’ll also cut out tasks that don’t take you toward your goals and which are, therefore, just time-wasters.
7) Falling into screen time black holes
Simple.
Stop playing with your phone so much.
Yes, I’m talking to you!
Last words
If you really want to start over in life, say goodbye to these seven habits that are wasting your time and damaging your self-confidence.
Choose one of these habits to work on and start today.
Once you get the ball rolling, you’ll find it easy to say goodbye to more and more until they’re all gone and you’re starting fresh.
