Liv Walde
If you’re still committed to growing as an individual, even 3 weeks after New Year, then kudos to you.
Most people will have lost their spark by now, and forgotten how they said they’d overhaul their lifestyle and habits.
But if you’re actually committed to personal growth and self-development, you know that it’s a life-long journey.
And to keep growing, you probably know that there are some behaviors you need to let go of. Immediately.
Believe it or not, shedding these behaviors can be as impactful as adopting entirely new ones!
Sound good?
If so, settle in and as we delve into the 10 behaviors you need to wave goodbye to if you truly want to grow more this year.
You might be surprised at which of your current behaviors you need to leave behind!
1) Always needing to be right
It might seem strange to suggest that if you’re looking to grow as a person, you should let go of the need to always be right.
But think about it:
- How often does being right really serve you in the long run?
- What is the cost of always having the last word?
What’s more is that the world isn’t black and white. There are in fact thousands of shades of gray.
Much in the same way there are often multiple rights and wrongs – so knuckling down on one means you close yourself off to new ideas and perspectives, stifle your creativity, and even damage relationships
Hence why it’s better to be open-minded, willing to learn, and ready to admit when you’re wrong.
This way, you open yourself up to new possibilities and personal growth.
2) Comparing yourself to others
It’s human nature to compare ourselves to others.
We look at their successes, their possessions, their lifestyles and often feel inadequate or less successful. We get green with envy and tear ourselves apart in the mirror later that day, clamoring “why couldn’t I be richer/funnier/prettier?”
Comparison is one of the first things that needs to go if you’re serious about getting to the next level.
Everyone, and by that I mean everyone, is on their own journey with unique circumstances, abilities and challenges.
Comparing yourself to someone who started out elsewhere and wants to end up elsewhere will only detract from your own journey and leave you feeling more hopeless and inadequate.
So celebrate your small victories, learn from your failures and keep moving forward at your own pace.
After all, it’s about being a better version of yourself, not somebody else.
3) Playing the victim card
It’s easy to blame others or circumstances for our shortcomings and failures.
No one ever asks the pitiful orphan to own up to their misdoings or start getting their life together.
So what better way to make sure you avoid all blame entirely than to perpetually paint yourself the victim?
(Said with sarcasm…)
But, if you really want to grow as a person, it’s important to stop playing the victim and start taking responsibility for your actions.
This means taking accountability for and acknowledging your mistakes, learning from them, and making a conscious effort to improve.
You might not get it right the first time, but by consciously stepping away from using the ‘woe-is-me’ card, you’re shifting into a new gear of life.
Personal growth happens outside of your comfort zone.
Finding comfort in victimhood is an easy way out, so learn to embrace the discomfort of self-improvement instead.
4) Sacrifing self-care
Life is busy, and being pulled in so many directions, we often prioritize work, family, friends and even chores over taking care of ourselves.
Things like a good night of sleep, wearing SPF, taking a night off to catch up on your favorite series. All those goodies go straight out the window when time is tight.
But it shouldn’t be this way.
If you truly want to grow as a person, you need to start making self-care a priority.
I’m not talking pampering yourself with a spa day or a 6 course fine dining experience.
No, what I mean is the very foundations of what keeps you right as rain and ticking over.
Getting some vitamin D outside (not just out of a bottle), getting a bit of exercise in, having time off to see loved ones.
All of this keeps your body and mind healthy, so make sure you’re carving out time each day for self-care and ditch sacrificing your wellness for more time elsewhere.
5) Letting your short term impulses rule you
It’s easy to live thinking about short term goals, and how to achieve them as fast and easy as possible.
You know the mentality.
It involves aspects we’ve mentioned above, like sacrificing self-care for other commitments.
Living off caffeine so you can work faster and harder, and then spending all of your hard-earned wages on ‘fun’ items like designer bags and jet-setting holidays.
Thinking long term can be so boring, I know.
Saving money?!
Working smarter, not harder?!
Planning for the future and sacrificing current temptations for bigger goals?!
Sounds like a whole load of impulse control to me…
But the better you get at thinking of your long term goals, in turn setting yourself up in the here and now in ways that protect your wellbeing whilst laying the foundations for success, the better.
So cull the short term mindset. Set those big, daring goals – but work towards them in small, bite-sized portions.
You’ll be surprised how far you’ve come in a few years, trust me.
6) Extreme self-criticism
Many of us are our own harshest critics.
We tear into the person in the mirror, and belittle our accomplishments, criticize our decisions, and berate ourselves for our failures.
And yes, it’s important to hold ourselves accountable, however this constant level of degrading self-criticism can be damaging to our self-esteem and hinder our progress.
If you’re on the path to personal evolution, it’s time to say goodbye to this nasty inner critic and replace it with a kinder, more compassionate voice.
Hold yourself accountable and be honest with yourself, but know that it’s more than okay to have pride in your strengths.
Love yourself as you want to be loved, and make way for the wonders you’ll be gifted with in return.
7) Lugging grudges and resentment around
Holding onto grudges and resentment is a heavy burden to bear.
It not only weighs you down emotionally, but can also impact your mental and physical health.
Hence why if you’re striving to grow as a person, it’s crucial to learn the art of forgiveness.
And that doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning what happened, but rather choosing to free yourself from the cycle of negative emotions.
It’s not, “I forgive how you hurt me, it’s okay”.
Instead, it’s “I forgive what you did. That doesn’t mean it’s okay or that I’ve forgotten. I am simply letting go of the anger and resentment I feel towards you for what you did”.
Embrace forgiveness, for it brings peace and paves the way for personal growth and evolution.
8) Procrastinating
Let’s face it, we all procrastinate.
Whether it’s suddenly spending 5 hours on Reddit conspiracy theories when you have a deadline due, spending an afternoon folding socks when you’re supposed to be writing your book, or watching another few episodes when you told yourself you’d have an early night…
Procrastination often leads to stress and guilt – not to mention missed opportunities.
Quitting procrastinating cold turkey isn’t so achievable, but by setting realistic goals, breaking down tasks into manageable portions, and rewarding yourself for small achievements, you’ll get there.
9) Ignoring the needs of others
In our journey of personal evolution, it’s easy to become self-focused and overlook the needs of those around us.
And understandably, too. One side of personal growth argues that you need to learn to put yourself first, no matter what. My road or the high road, my truth, etc.
The other tells you to be self-sacrificing, to give more, to dig deeper into your soul and spread it far and wide for others to feast on.
Finding a middle balance between self-prioritization versus helping others out is difficult, but you better believe that true growth and evolution involve developing a great sense of empathy and compassion for others.
So if you err on the slightly selfish side of life, start by listening more and offering help when you can.
After all, we grow as individuals when we learn to care for others and experience things collectively.
10) Living in the past
One of the most common traps we fall into is dwelling on the past.
We have old mistakes playing on repeat in our mind, and spend hours ruminating on the what-ifs left behind by missed opportunities.
But the past is something we can neither change nor control.
If personal evolution is your goal, it’s time to let go of the past and focus on the present and future.
Learn from your past experiences and carry those memories carefully, but don’t let them define who you are now or who you aspire to be.
Remember, each and every new day in the present brings with it a chance to start a new and grow into the person you want to be.
Just take it one step at a time
