If you really want to become an engaging speaker, say goodbye to these 8 habits

Not everyone’s voice carries the same weight or magnetism.

You might look back on your past presentations and speeches, and wonder why you couldn’t get your audience as invested as you’d like them to be. Or perhaps, you’re struggling to identify if your speaking style is engaging or just plain boring.

How do you know if what you’re doing is genuinely captivating, or just going through the motions like most speakers?

To help you out, I’ve compiled a list of 8 habits that could be sabotaging your potential as an engaging speaker. If these ring true for you, it might be time to bid them a firm goodbye.

1) Embracing monotony

We’re all creatures of habit, and when it comes to public speaking, it’s easy to fall into the trap of monotony.

Monotony can creep into your speech in more ways than one; it could be a monotonous tone, where you speak in a flat, unvarying pitch, or it could be through repetitive body language, where you fail to utilize gestures that add dynamism to your speech.

But here’s the thing about monotony – it’s a surefire way to lull your audience into a state of disinterest. Instead of hanging onto your every word, they’ll be battling a yawn or glancing at their watches.

So shake things up a bit! Add variety to your speech by modulating your voice and incorporating purposeful gestures. Remember, engaging speakers are like good musicians – they know when to change the tempo.

Jazzing up your speaking style to avoid monotony is just the first step. Equally important is how you manage the content of your speech. Avoid the trap of overloading your audience with information, which can be just as disengaging as a monotonous delivery…

2) Overloading with information

There’s a common misconception that to be a good speaker, you must cram your speech with as much information as possible. After all, isn’t the goal to impart knowledge and leave your audience enriched?

However, while it’s important to provide valuable content, overloading your speech with information is more likely to overwhelm your audience than enlighten them.

The truth is, our brains can only process a limited amount of information at one time. If you bombard your audience with facts and figures, they’re likely to forget most of it by the time you finish speaking.

Instead of trying to cover everything under the sun, focus on a few key points and delve into them deeply. This way, your audience can grasp the crux of your message without feeling like they’re drowning in a sea of information.

In short, less is often more when it comes to engaging speaking.

Just as cramming too much information can overwhelm your audience, so can filling every silence with words. Embracing silence is as much an art as simplifying your content. Let’s explore how strategic pauses can enhance the impact of your message

3) Fearing silence

Silence can be intimidating, especially when you’re standing on a stage with hundreds of eyes on you. The instinctive response is to fill every moment with words, fearing that any pause would be interpreted as a lack of knowledge or confidence.

However, contrary to popular belief, silence can be a powerful tool in public speaking.

Strategic pauses can emphasise key points, give your audience time to digest what you’ve just said, and create anticipation for what’s to come. It’s like the dramatic pause in a captivating movie or the rest note in a symphony – it enhances impact.

If you’ve been racing through your speeches in fear of silence, it’s time to change your perspective. Embrace the power of the pause and watch as your speeches transform into engaging narratives that hold your audience spellbound.

While mastering the power of pause, don’t overlook another crucial aspect of engagement – your body language. Your non-verbal cues can make or break the connection you are trying to establish with your audience. Your physical presence can complement your words…

4) Ignoring body language

We often forget that communication extends far beyond the words we utter. In fact, research suggests that over 90% of our communication is non-verbal!

That’s right, your body language – your gestures, your facial expressions, even the way you stand – speaks volumes. It is an unspoken language that can either enhance your spoken words or contradict them.

If you’ve been neglecting this aspect of your speeches, it’s time to pay attention.

Are your arms crossed, signaling defensiveness? Are you avoiding eye contact, indicating a lack of confidence or sincerity? Or perhaps you’re standing too stiffly, portraying nervousness?

Remember, an engaging speaker knows how to use their body language to reinforce their message, not undermine it. So start becoming aware of your non-verbal cues and use them to your advantage.

Understanding your body language is just one piece of the puzzle. Another common pitfall is the pursuit of perfection in public speaking. Embracing your imperfections can actually make your speeches more relatable and engaging…

5) Chasing perfection

We live in a world that glorifies perfection. The perfect speech. The perfect delivery. The perfect response from the audience. But let’s face it, perfection is an illusion.

When we chase perfection in public speaking, we set ourselves up for unnecessary stress. We become so caught up in getting every word right, every gesture perfect, that we lose touch with the essence of our message.

And here’s the truth: audiences don’t connect with perfection. They connect with authenticity. They connect with speakers who are real, who stumble and recover, who laugh at their own mistakes.

So if you’ve been pursuing perfection in your speeches, it’s time to let go. Embrace your imperfections. Show your audience that you’re human, just like them. You’ll be surprised at how this vulnerability can make you a more engaging speaker.

While letting go of the need for perfection, it’s also crucial to balance your focus between content and delivery. A great message can lose its impact with a lackluster delivery. Combining substance with style can bring life to your speeches…

6) Focusing solely on content

Content is king. That’s the mantra we’ve all heard, and it’s not entirely wrong. Your speech should indeed be packed with valuable, relevant content. However, focusing solely on the content can make your delivery dry and mechanical.

Here’s the twist: An engaging speaker knows that it’s not just about what you say, but also how you say it. The tone of your voice, your enthusiasm, your connection with the audience – these aspects breathe life into your words.

If you’ve been prioritizing content over delivery, it might be time to recalibrate your approach. Yes, your speech should have substance, but don’t forget the style. Because at the end of the day, a lively delivery can make even the most mundane topic intriguing to listen to.

Content and delivery are important, but they’re not the only elements that make a speech engaging. Audience interaction plays a key role too. Let’s explore ways to transform your speech from a monologue into an interactive and memorable experience for your audience…

7) Overlooking audience engagement

When we think of public speaking, we often imagine it as a one-way street. You, the speaker, are imparting wisdom while the audience passively takes it in. This approach, however, can make your speeches feel more like monologues than engaging conversations.

The key to being an engaging speaker is to make your audience feel involved. This could be through asking rhetorical questions, sharing relatable anecdotes, or even conducting on-the-spot polls.

If you’ve been treating your speeches as solo performances, it’s time to shift gears. Start incorporating interactive elements into your speeches. Not only will this keep your audience active and attentive, but it will also make your presentation more memorable.

After all, an engaged audience is the hallmark of a truly engaging speaker.

As you work on making your audience an active part of your speeches, remember that becoming an engaging speaker is a journey. Each speaking opportunity is a chance to grow and refine your skills. Embracing this continuous learning process can lead to authentic and captivating speaking…

Embracing the journey of becoming an engaging speaker

Public speaking is not a skill one masters overnight. It’s a journey, a continuous process of learning, unlearning, and relearning.

Each speech you deliver is an opportunity to learn something new about yourself and your audience. It’s a chance to discover which techniques work for you and which ones don’t. Over time, you’ll find your unique rhythm and style that resonates with your audience.

Remember that being an engaging speaker is not about mimicking the styles of great orators or sticking to rigid rules. It’s about discovering your authentic voice and expressing it with clarity and conviction.

That being said, it’s important to keep an open mind throughout this journey. Be willing to experiment with different techniques. Some might work wonderfully, while others might fall flat. But each attempt brings you one step closer to becoming the speaker you aspire to be.

And while it’s important to learn from your mistakes, don’t forget to celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem. Every time you manage to maintain eye contact during a speech or use a pause effectively, give yourself a pat on the back. These small victories are signs of progress.

Lastly, remember that public speaking is essentially about communication – about connecting with your audience on a human level. And to do that effectively, you need empathy. You need to understand your audience’s needs, their fears, their aspirations.

So as you embark on this journey of becoming an engaging speaker, keep these points in mind. Yes, there will be challenges along the way. There will be nerves, there will be stumbles. But with each speech you deliver, each story you share, you’ll find yourself growing not just as a speaker, but also as a person.

And that’s what makes this journey truly worthwhile.

Finally, as you embark on this journey of continuous improvement, it’s essential to stay true to yourself. Your uniqueness as a speaker is your greatest asset…

Embrace your true nature

As we journey through the process of becoming more engaging speakers, it’s essential to keep in mind that no two speakers are the same. Just as our voices are unique, so too are our speaking styles.

Embracing your true nature is not just about accepting your quirks and idiosyncrasies. It’s about understanding your strengths, acknowledging your weaknesses, and leveraging both to become a speaker that is authentically you.

In this pursuit of becoming an engaging speaker, it can be tempting to imitate the styles of renowned orators we admire. However, while it’s great to seek inspiration, remember that what works for them may not necessarily work for you.

Your journey in public speaking is your own. You have your unique story to tell, your unique way of connecting with your audience. Don’t stifle that uniqueness in an attempt to fit into someone else’s mold.

Instead, use the tips and techniques you learn as tools to enhance your natural speaking style, not to overshadow it. Because at the end of the day, an engaging speaker is not one who speaks perfectly, but one who speaks authentically.

So embark on this journey of self-discovery. Get to know yourself as a speaker – your pace, your tone, your gestures. Understand what makes you unique and embrace it.

Because when you speak from a place of authenticity, not only will you become a more engaging speaker, but you will also inspire others to find and embrace their true voices too. And isn’t that what being a great speaker is all about?

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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