If you really want to become a kinder and more tolerant person, say goodbye to these 7 habits

There’s a clear distinction between being kind and tolerant, and just pretending to be.

The key lies in your habits. When you’re faking kindness, it’s like wearing a mask that hides your true nature.

But when you’re genuinely kind and tolerant, it’s ingrained in your daily life. And trust me, it feels better than any mask.

To truly be kinder and more tolerant, there are some habits you need to kick to the curb.

And don’t worry, I’ve got your back on this.

Here are 7 habits you need to say goodbye to if you truly want to become a kinder, more tolerant person.

1) Stop jumping to conclusions

We all do it. It’s all too easy to make quick judgments about people or situations without having all the facts.

This habit can lead us down a path of misunderstanding and intolerance. It’s like seeing a movie trailer and deciding you know the whole plot.

But life isn’t a two-minute trailer. People are complex, and situations often have layers that aren’t immediately visible.

To become kinder and more tolerant, we need to resist the urge to jump to conclusions.

Instead, take the time to understand, to ask questions, and to really listen. This way, you’ll be better equipped to show kindness and tolerance in each interaction.

It’s not about being right or wrong. It’s about understanding and empathizing with others, and that’s a habit worth forming.

2) Quit holding grudges

Believe me, I understand how easy it is to hold onto resentment when someone has wronged you. I remember when a close friend betrayed my trust. It was a deep wound that took time to heal.

For a long time, every time I thought of her, my mind would replay the hurtful incident. It was like picking at a scab, never allowing it to heal fully.

But then, I realized something. This grudge wasn’t hurting her; it was hurting me. It was like I was carrying a heavy backpack filled with anger and bitterness everywhere I went.

So I decided to let it go. Not because she deserved forgiveness, but because I deserved peace.

And guess what? It made me a kinder, more tolerant person. Because when you release the burden of a grudge, you make room for understanding and compassion in your heart.

3) Ditch the negative self-talk

Imagine a friend who constantly criticizes you, doubts your abilities, and reminds you of your past failures. Would you want to hang out with this person? Probably not.

Yet, that’s exactly what we do to ourselves when we engage in negative self-talk.

Research shows that how we speak to ourselves significantly impacts our confidence, motivation, and overall mood. In fact, studies have found that positive self-talk can improve our performance and reduce stress.

So if we want to be kinder and more tolerant towards others, we need to start by being kinder and more tolerant towards ourselves.

The next time you catch yourself in a whirlwind of self-criticism, gently remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes and it’s okay.

Replace those harsh words with encouraging ones. You’d be surprised at how much this simple change can affect your outlook on life and on others.

4) Stop the comparison game

In a world where social media constantly bombards us with highlight reels of other people’s lives, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves with others. This habit, however, can be quite damaging.

When we compare, we tend to either feel superior or inferior – neither of which fosters kindness or tolerance. Feeling superior leads to arrogance while feeling inferior can result in resentment and self-pity.

But here’s the truth: every person is on a unique journey, complete with its ups and downs. It’s not fair or productive to compare your behind-the-scenes with someone else’s highlight reel.

5) Stop avoiding difficult conversations

I used to be the kind of person who would do anything to avoid a tough conversation. Whether it was a disagreement with a friend or addressing a sensitive topic at work, I’d rather stay silent than risk causing an upset.

But what I realized was, by avoiding these conversations, I was not only damaging my relationships but also limiting my own growth.

Difficult conversations may be uncomfortable, but they’re often necessary for understanding and growth.

They require us to be vulnerable, to listen, and to express ourselves honestly.

All of these are qualities that contribute to kindness and tolerance.

So instead of running away from tough conversations, I started leaning into them. Sure, it’s uncomfortable at times, but the growth and understanding that come from it are invaluable. 

6) Say goodbye to instant gratification

We live in a world where everything is at our fingertips, from fast food to online shopping. It has conditioned us to expect and desire instant gratification.

However, this habit can make us impatient and less tolerant when things don’t go our way or when others don’t meet our expectations immediately.

Becoming kinder and more tolerant requires patience. It means understanding that good things take time, including personal growth and the growth of others.

7) Let go of the need to be right

Here’s the thing: kindness and tolerance aren’t about winning arguments or proving a point. They’re about understanding, accepting, and valuing others, even when their beliefs or actions differ from yours.

The need to be right can create barriers between you and others. It can lead to arguments, hurt feelings, and a lack of understanding.

If you truly want to become a kinder, more tolerant person, let go of the need to be right. Listen more than you speak, respect other’s perspectives, and remember that it’s okay to agree to disagree. 

Final thoughts

The path to becoming a kinder and more tolerant person isn’t a straight line, nor is it the same for everyone.

It’s a journey filled with self-discovery, growth, and, yes, even setbacks. But every step you take towards letting go of these habits brings you one step closer to becoming the person you aspire to be.

So, take it one day at a time. Some days will feel like a struggle, others like a victory. All of them are part of your journey.

The goal isn’t perfection. It’s progress towards becoming a kinder and more tolerant version of yourself.

Mia Zhang

Mia Zhang blends Eastern and Western perspectives in her approach to self-improvement. Her writing explores the intersection of cultural identity and personal growth. Mia encourages readers to embrace their unique backgrounds as a source of strength and inspiration in their life journeys.

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