If you really want a healthy and lasting relationship, say goodbye to these 8 behaviors

Are you wondering how you can keep your relationship strong and healthy for the long haul? 

Well, start by looking at your behaviors.

In my years of experience as a relationship expert, I’ve observed that certain behaviors can poison even the most promising relationships, leaving both parties feeling frustrated and unfulfilled.

On the flip side, saying goodbye to these toxic behaviors can open up a path to a healthier, happier, and more enduring partnership.

This is Tina Fey, founder of the Love Connection blog, and I’m here to guide you on how to enhance your love life. I’m going to share with you 8 behaviors that you need to bid farewell to if you want a truly vibrant and lasting relationship. 

1) Criticizing your partner

It’s often said that love is blind, but in reality, it’s all too easy to see and focus on our partner’s flaws.

In my experience as a relationship expert, I’ve noticed that one of the most destructive behaviors in a relationship is constant criticism.

Sure, no one is perfect, but constantly pointing out your partner’s flaws isn’t going to make them disappear.

Instead, it’ll just foster resentment and bitterness.

Criticizing your partner can create a toxic environment that inhibits the growth of love and trust. It’s 

So instead of criticism, try constructive feedback. Approach issues with kindness, understanding, and patience. This way, you’ll create a safe space for both of you to grow and thrive.

Remember, a healthy and lasting relationship is all about acceptance and growth. So let’s start by saying goodbye to constant criticism.

2) Keeping score

Now, let me share a personal lesson I’ve learned in my own relationships.

One of the most damaging behaviors I’ve seen (and admittedly been guilty of) is scorekeeping.

This is when we keep a mental tally of who did what in the relationship. “I did the dishes last time, now it’s your turn,” or “You forgot our anniversary last year, so you owe me this year.”

Scorekeeping turns love into a competition, and trust me, nobody wins in this game.

In a healthy relationship, we all make mistakes and nobody is keeping score. It’s about being on the same team and supporting each other through thick and thin.

So say goodbye to scorekeeping and hello to shared victories and unconditional love.

3) Being overly dependent

On a personal note, this next point is one I feel deeply about, and I’ve dedicated an entire book to it.

Over-dependency can be a heavy burden on any relationship. It’s not just about leaning on your partner for emotional support but relying on them for your happiness, self-esteem, and identity.

This is unhealthy and can lead to a codependent relationship.

In my book, “Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship”, I delve into this topic in great detail and provide practical strategies to overcome it.

Part of a healthy relationship is maintaining your individuality and understanding that you are two separate beings with separate lives.

Yes, you share a life together, but you also have your own passions, interests, and friends.

So let’s say goodbye to over-dependency and embrace the beauty of being individuals in love. 

4) Avoiding conflict

Here’s something that might surprise you: avoiding conflict isn’t always a good thing.

I know it sounds counterintuitive. After all, who wants to fight?

But here’s the thing: avoiding conflict doesn’t mean you’re creating peace. Often, it means you’re just pushing problems under the rug.

In a healthy relationship, conflicts and disagreements are inevitable. They’re signs that you are two different individuals with unique thoughts and feelings.

What matters isn’t avoiding these disagreements, but how you handle them.

Instead of running away from conflict, face it head-on.

Learn to communicate effectively and solve problems together.

This doesn’t mean shouting matches or hurtful words, but calm, respectful conversations where both parties are heard and solutions are sought.

So let’s say goodbye to conflict avoidance and welcome healthy communication. Remember, it’s through resolving conflicts that we grow closer and stronger together.

5) Ignoring the small stuff

In my own relationships, I’ve learned that it’s often the small things that matter most.

Many people believe that grand gestures are the key to a strong relationship. While these are certainly beautiful, they aren’t the backbone of a lasting bond.

It’s actually the small, everyday acts of love and kindness that build a strong foundation.

Think about it: A surprise vacation is wonderful, but so is a warm hug after a long day at work. A diamond ring is dazzling, but so is a heartfelt note left on your pillow.

Ignoring these small moments and gestures can lead to a lack of appreciation for your partner and can create distance in your relationship. So let’s shift our focus to them.

Say goodbye to ignoring the small stuff and start celebrating and cherishing the little moments of love and kindness in your relationship. Trust me, they add up to make a big difference.

6) Hiding your true feelings

This is a tough one, but it’s time we had an honest conversation about it.

One of the most harmful behaviors that can exist in a relationship is hiding your true feelings.

Whether it’s out of fear of being vulnerable, or not wanting to upset your partner, keeping your emotions to yourself can create a barrier between you two.

In my experience, true intimacy comes from being able to share your deepest fears, hopes, and feelings with your partner.

Yes, it’s scary. Yes, it makes you vulnerable. But it also brings you closer and strengthens your bond.

So let’s be brave and say goodbye to hiding our true feelings.

Let’s be open, raw, and honest with our partners. Because at the end of the day, the greatest gift we can give to someone we love is our authentic selves.

7) Neglecting self-care

This next one is a lesson I’ve learned the hard way in my own life.

It’s easy to get so wrapped up in your relationship that you forget to take care of yourself. But remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Neglecting self-care doesn’t just affect you, it also affects your relationship. When you’re stressed, tired, or burnt out, it’s hard to be a good partner.

So let’s say goodbye to neglecting self-care. Make time for yourself. Do things that nourish your body and soul. 

Remember, a healthy relationship involves two healthy individuals. So take care of yourself, for both you and your partner.

8) Settling for less

Here’s the last, but certainly not the least, behavior we need to say goodbye to: settling for less than we deserve.

This is a hard truth to face, but sometimes, we stay in relationships that aren’t right for us because we’re scared of being alone, or we think it’s the best we can do.

But let me tell you something: You deserve love, respect, and happiness. And you should never settle for a relationship that doesn’t provide these.

It’s never easy to walk away from something familiar, even if it’s unhealthy. But sometimes, it’s the only way to make room for something better.

So let’s be honest with ourselves and say goodbye to settling for less. Because you’re worth so much more than that.

Conclusion

So there you have it. Eight behaviors to say goodbye to if you truly want a healthy and lasting relationship.

Remember, it’s all about fostering love, respect, and understanding. It’s about being honest with ourselves and with our partners. And it’s about not settling for less than we deserve.

For more detailed advice and strategies on how to cultivate a healthier relationship, I invite you to check out my book, “Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship”. I believe it can provide valuable insights and practical steps for anyone looking to enhance their love life.

In the end, remember this: a relationship is a journey, not a destination. It takes effort, patience, and a lot of love. But with the right mindset and behaviors, it can be one of the most fulfilling journeys of your life.