Paul Brian
What happens if you keep improving until you become borderline perfect?
Where do you go from there?
I’m joking, of course.
But if the self-help industry had its way, you’d be taking courses and buying books until the day you die.
What about enjoying life? What about learning to laugh in the face of chaos and revel in the messiness of existence now and then?
Nothing is perfect, even perfection! If you’re one of us wild ones who knows deep in your bones that society’s obsession with self-improvement can go just a bit too far…
…You probably have these powerful traits working in your favor:
1) You’re modest
You don’t talk yourself up much or try to show off.
You know your own skills and strengths, but making sure everybody else knows about them isn’t your focus.
You’d rather actually get stuff done and live life.
Emphasizing how great you are or caring if other people notice it just isn’t your goal. It’s something you don’t think about and you’re not very self-conscious.
2) You’re self-aware
This ties into the previous point, because while you’re not self-conscious about how others see you, you are highly self-aware.
You know your strengths and weaknesses and you’re realistic about what you’re good at or have difficulty with.
Improving is something you love to do, but the idea of becoming great at everything or finding perfect inner harmony doesn’t appeal to you.
You know that a lot of life is best on the rough edges and that trying to perfect everything takes away from the spontaneity and authenticity of experience.
3) You’re blunt
When you know that society’s obsession with self-improvement is a bit much, you tend to be blunt.
Whatever filter you once had, you’ve removed it.
Sparing the feelings of others or nodding and smiling to get along is no longer very high up in your repertoire.
You’d rather just call it as you see it.
4) You keep it real
You’d rather have the ugly truth than a pretty lie, and that’s how you’ve always been.
People talking about “raising vibrations” or how “negative” emotions like anger need to be “overcome” fill you with an instinctive resistance.
You’ve always felt the underlying shame in these judgments:
What’s inherently “bad” about anger, exactly? Why is it necessarily wrong or negative?
Let’s be real: sometimes anger is not only justified but 100% natural and healthy, same with most other “negative” emotions.
It all just depends on what you do with it.
5) You’re skeptical
You’re generally somewhat skeptical about big claims and blanket judgments.
You like to analyze and understand things at a more specific level than many people around you.
If somebody says “conquer all your fears by taking this special two-week course” you raise your eyebrows.
Why is conquering all your fears necessarily a good thing, and who says it would be possible even if it were good?
You’re on the skeptical side. And that’s a good thing.
6) You’re fun-loving
You’re a person who knows how to have a good time.
This constant talk of improving oneself and leaving problems behind eventually gets just a little…boring…for you.
You’d rather get out there and live.
Self-awareness, yes. Getting better, yes.
But trying to reach some ideal state of inner enlightenment that only the precious few attain? It sounds kind of elitist and dodgy.
You’d rather have some fun while you’re alive and breathing.
7) You know how to laugh
Improving as a person appeals to you, but society’s idea of becoming endlessly better strikes you as humorous.
You have a good sense of humor and like to laugh.
You can instinctively see how the obsession with becoming some ideal is linked to a capitalistic, materialistic view of life.
It has a lot to do with the concept of always upgrading, growing, being “better.”
Instead, sometimes it’s hilarious just to laugh at the absurdity of it all and stop always trying to be something other than what we are.
8) You’re empathetic
You’re also an understanding person.
You can walk in other people’s shoes and that’s something you’ve always valued.
The idea that we’re all natural opponents or competitors strikes you as mistaken, and you prefer to look for win-win situations.
This is part of where you find continual self-improvement to be a bit much:
So much of where we progress is in groups and because of situations we are in, rather than just our own choices and motivations.
You tend to prioritize being part of those situations and helping include others, rather than always bringing the focus back onto the individual.
9) You’re emotionally intelligent
You’re a highly emotionally intelligent person and that goes for your own emotions as well as the feelings of others.
This is part of why the idea of “negative” and “positive” emotions has always sat wrong with you.
You know that people feeling ashamed of their more difficult emotions is part of why they end up spinning in circles and staying stuck.
You prefer to see life as a symphony of color than a palette with black and white on it.
There’s so much more than just A or B, and this is especially true of emotions and the meaning of emotions.
10) You’re appreciative of the present
You do your best to live in the present.
You have future plans and you think about the past, of course, but they don’t dominate your day-to-day.
You care about having fun and doing your best in the present moment, because you know that is where your power lies.
You also know that if you skate through the present without appreciating it, you’re going to regret that one day.
Getting better all the time…
You’re a person who prefers to see the bright side of most things, but at the same time, you don’t run away from the darker side of life.
You know that the idea of constant growth, improvement and harmony can actually become toxic if it’s taken too far.
You let things be what they are and find the joy and vitality in life without demanding that it always be something more or better than it is.
The same goes for your own self-development and improvement: you love getting better and improving, but you don’t withhold love from yourself or others until they reach a certain benchmark or “vibration” level.
We’re all on this journey together, and “acing the test” has never been the point!
