Paul Brian
Growing up I was highly self-conscious.
I’d look in the mirror and think I needed to be bigger, taller or have a different type of look.
Then in adolescence, I thought I needed to be more confident, funnier, “cooler.”
But what I’ve come to find out is that I’d been buying into a false idea of what being attractive actually is and how it works that I was socially conditioned into believing.
Here’s an honest look at attractive traits you might not even realize you have…
1) Humor
Show me a funny person and I’ll show you a person I’d like to spend more time around.
They may not be a supermodel, but if they can make me laugh I’m at least interested to hang out with them!
If you’re funny then you can be sure that people enjoy your company more than you realize and that you’re attractive to many!
2) Insight
If you are the type who sees below the surface and has useful and unique insights about things then it’s a very fetching trait.
Many people I know complain about going out on dates with people who just have little to say or contribute.
If you have thoughts about something (almost anything!) and you’re able to express your insights in a respectful and non-creepy way then you can bet your insightfulness is being noted and appreciated.
3) Accuracy
The willingness and ability to be accurate in what you say and do is highly attractive.
Whether this means not saying a statistic unless you’re sure it’s true all the way to providing advice on an issue that you actually know about, trust that this competence is noted.
In a world full of “look it up on YouTube” and “I dunno, maybe,” knowing what you’re talking about and being accurate about it is a highly desirable trait.
4) Emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence is only coming to be adequately valued in the past several decades.
As we realize the importance of navigating our emotions and those of others, it makes us much more attractive.
Not only does high emotional intelligence show remarkable maturity, it also makes you a more attractive potential partner because others know they won’t have to tutor you from scratch in dealing with and expressing what you feel.
5) Empathy
Empathy and the ability to understand others is a related quality that’s highly attractive.
If you find that you try to see things from the perspective of others, you can be sure that it’s an attractive trait that others appreciate.
Being an empathetic person is certainly a quality that others will notice and value in you as a potential mate.
6) Work ethic
Being hard working and committed to your job is intensely attractive.
There are so many people just going through the motions with their job or who expect handouts.
Not being one of those people and taking responsibility for earning your own living makes you more attractive than you realize.
In a world of people looking for freebies, you come across as the real deal.
7) Dedication
More generally, having dedication in any area of your life comes across as very attractive.
Whether that be your family members, friends, your spiritual path and faith or your culture, this is something potential mates notice.
It’s very attractive when somebody cares about their life and the people in it and is dedicated to people and responsibilities in their life.
8) Imagination
Those who have a keen sense of imagination are very attractive to the rest of us.
Having a vivid imagination and being willing to share that with others makes you a catch and also very unique in a world where so many people just recycle images from TV and their screens instead of having their own imagination.
If you possess a strong imagination and like living and creating new worlds in your mind it is something that makes you very attractive.
9) Verbal flair
The way you talk does matter quite a bit, because it’s a reflection of who you are and how you see yourself.
Having some verbal flair is highly recommended.
In our era of “lol” and “brb” abbreviations, being that man or woman who speaks in a cultured and classy way is a definite plus.
You can even try your own little puns and signature phrases to really make yourself extra memorable.
Just please don’t fake a British accent if you’re not actually British (yes, I know people who have done that…)
10) A sense of style
Along with some verbal panache, how’s your sense of style?
You might think nothing of it, but if you have comfy clothes you like to wear that don’t look half bad then you have a sense of style!
People notice that and it makes you more attractive, because a sense of style along with even the most basic personal hygiene and grooming goes a long way in today’s society.
11) Self-sufficiency
When you handle your own business it gives you a confident and attractive aura.
Being a person who’s self-sufficient and has your own life together is highly attractive.
This includes having your friendships and connections that are important to you and will continue whether or not you’re in a relationship.
12) Confidence
Confidence is one of those qualities that’s attractive no matter which way you spin it.
But it’s important to note that confidence and cockiness aren’t the same thing.
Being sure of your value and standing up for yourself is highly attractive, just ensure you don’t brag about yourself or start to become arrogant or dismissive of others.
Confidence is a powerful aphrodisiac, but it has to be delivered in a modest dose.
13) Purposefulness
Having a purpose and strong goals in your life is extremely attractive.
It means that you have a purpose to your life and are not depending on other people to fulfill you.
This is something that comes across with every move someone takes.
The truth is most of us fulfill our duties out of obligation or necessity:
If you proactively choose your purpose and follow it this creates a highly desirous and attractive impression on everyone around you.
14) Self-honesty
If you’re honest with yourself then you’re already displaying a highly attractive trait.
Many of us lie to ourselves or ignore things about ourselves we don’t like.
If you face your fears head on and are aware of your strengths and weaknesses it’s very attractive to a prospective or current partner.
That’s because it’s obvious that you’re fully responsible for yourself and not trying to pull the wool over anyone’s eyes (even your own).
15) Self-discipline
When you’re honest with yourself it’s one thing, but having the ability to put that into practice is another.
This is where self-discipline comes into the picture.
If you show that you can stick to your goals, get up at the same time daily and push yourself even when nobody’s watching, that discipline will emerge in every area of your life.
16) Spontaneity
Consistency and being reliable is attractive, but spontaneity has its place, too.
Being the kind of person who’s occasionally open to a new adventure is very attractive.
No matter what age you are, it shows that you still remain young at heart and will never be a boring person to be around.
Congratulations, Casanova
If you possess even a few of these qualities, I can assure you that you’re at least a little bit hot.
All jokes aside, a big part of being attractive really is a state of mind.
Some women are more physically beautiful than others, and likewise with some men.
But beyond judgment of fitness, curves, facial composition and having white teeth or a tall build, there’s so much more at work.
The traits above are not only something you can look at as needing to have to be attractive, they’re also traits you can consciously work on and keep developing.
That’s the great thing:
Each of us has it within our power to continue becoming more attractive day by day!
