If you possess these 11 qualities, your partner is lucky to have you

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There are tons of articles out there talking about the qualities to look for in a partner. Some of us may have checklists to gauge if the person we’re dating measures up. 

That’s all well and good. It pays to be discerning, after all. But – what about us? How do WE measure up? 

I’ve always believed that being the right person is more important than finding the right person. I believe that when we shift our focus to that, the right person will naturally gravitate to us. 

And it won’t be just you who feels lucky; they will, too! 

So, do you have what it takes to be the right person for your partner? If you possess these 10 qualities, then yes, you do! 

1) Forgiving

First up – are you able to forgive your partner when they hurt you? The ability to forgive is one of the most important components of a healthy relationship

Because no matter how good a partner you have, at some point, they will hurt you. 

And unless you can understand that imperfection is a given and let go of the pain, then you’ll feel resentful and bitter. 

This old Ruth Bell Graham quote still rings true today: “Marriage is the union of two good forgivers.”

I know I’ve messed up many times in my own relationship, but fortunately, I’m married to a man who knows how to forgive. I can’t tell you how lucky that makes me feel! 

On that note, though, I’d like to clarify that being forgiving doesn’t equate to tolerating or excusing abusive behavior. 

Forgiveness is about finding peace and moving forward from hurt or misunderstandings that are a natural part of any relationship. 

So don’t confuse it with the acceptance of any form of abuse, whether emotional, physical, verbal, etc.

2) Not keeping score

One of the most common mistakes people do in relationships is to run a scoreboard. 

By this, I mean that they seem to count every move and tally it up to see who does more and who does less in the relationship. 

Sometimes, it even leaches out to matters outside the relationship, like who has the better career, earns more money, has more friends, etc. 

This often happens to those who approach relationships in a competitive spirit. Which, when you think about it, doesn’t make sense. 

Relationships are supposed to be about teamwork. It’s about lifting each other up, stepping in when your partner needs some help. 

It’s definitely not a competition with insecurity and envy at the root. According to Marriage.com, “With competition, partners view each other as rivals.” 

That’s got to be one of the most toxic relationship dynamics out there, don’t you think? 

That’s why, if being your partner’s teammate is more important to you than anything else, they’re lucky to have you. 

3) Generous

Now, I’m not just talking about money here or physical gifts. I’m talking about an overall generosity of the spirit. 

Giving gifts might not be your love language, but you know what? You can still be considered a generous person if you: 

  • Know how to forgive (yes, a forgiving spirit is a generous spirit)
  • Give your partner the time and attention they need to feel loved
  • Perform small acts of kindness for them
  • Treat  your partner with respect

Plus points if you’re…

4) Affectionate

Did you know that affection (or rather, the lack of it) is the number one reason why couples seek therapy? 

That’s right – it seems like couples can forego therapy for any other issues they might have, but a lack of affection? That’s enough to drive them to the therapist’s office.

Why is affection so important in a relationship? Let’s look at what research says about it: 

  • First, affection is a way for us to gauge if our partner is still interested in us
  • The more affection we express and receive, the  more committed and satisfied we feel
  • Affection enhances closeness
  • Affection makes us feel good physically

In fact, did you know that kissing actually reduces cholesterol? Man, that’s some real high-value lovin’ right there!

So, if you’re very generous with your hugs and kisses and just being affectionate all around, that bodes really well for your relationship. 

5) Non-judgmental and empathetic

Another quality that would make your partner feel really lucky to have you is empathy and an open mind. 

Simply put, it’s what makes them see you as a safe space, which is what every partner should be. 

You make your partner feel seen and understood. They can share their deepest thoughts and cringiest moments, and rest assured knowing you won’t be judging them. 

Not everyone can do this. I’ve had a few exes who were a bit lacking in the empathy department. 

I’d share something really important to me, only to have them dismiss it. Or I’d have a silly or goofy moment, and they’d tell me to “grow up”. 

So yeah, I didn’t feel completely at ease or safe enough to show every side of me when I was with them. 

It goes two ways, though, which brings me to my next point…

6) Willing to be vulnerable

Yes, you are your partner’s safe space. Are they yours, too? 

See, when it comes to relationships, vulnerability is a top requirement. 

As Brene Brown says, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection and the path to the feeling of worthiness. If it doesn’t feel vulnerable, the sharing is probably not constructive.”

I know it’s not easy to put yourself out there. But it’s the only path to genuine connection. 

To illustrate, I once had an ex who found it so hard to open up with me. He never asked for help, and I often felt like there was an invisible wall between us, even if he was perfectly sweet and charming and all. 

So…I can’t say I felt lucky. I felt more like I had a mission – to get him to open up and be vulnerable with me. 

But then, as I later realized, that wasn’t my job. Deciding to be vulnerable and emotionally available was entirely his. 

In contrast, with my husband, who has always let me in right from the start, I feel so lucky. Lucky to be given a front-row view to who he really is. Lucky to not have to hurdle invisible walls. Lucky to not have to second-guess how he really feels. 

And above all, honored to be his safe space. That’s how your partner feels when you allow yourself to be vulnerable with them. 

Make no mistake – vulnerability is a gift you give to both yourself and your partner. 

7) Supportive

As I mentioned earlier, relationships are about teamwork. You want your partner to be in your corner, to be someone you can lean on when times are tough. 

In the same breath, are you that person for them, too? 

If you are, then you’re quite the catch! That’s not just me saying it, the research points to that, too. 

According to studies, having a supportive partner increases relationship satisfaction. Having someone around who makes us feel good about ourselves makes us feel great about both the relationship and life in general. 

8) Loyal and faithful

Of course, this is a given in any relationship. And yet, we also know how so many fall short of this. 

I mean, in this day and age, cheating has become so commonplace that the idea of a faithful partner has become some sort of lofty, unreachable ideal. Maybe like a unicorn, even.

So when you find one, well, you just feel so incredibly lucky. That’s how your partner feels if you’ve proven your loyalty and faithfulness as well. 

9) Reliable

Similarly, being true to your word makes your partner feel like they really won the lottery. 

Think about it – in a world where talk is cheap and people throw out promises like nothing, doesn’t it feel like a breath of fresh air when someone actually does what they said they’d do? 

Your reliability makes you a huge blessing to the people in your life. Your partner can rest easy knowing they’ve got someone they can trust and rely on. 

10) Spontaneous and willing to try new things

Just as important as stability and reliability is a spontaneous and adventurous spirit. 

Why? Well, because it keeps things sparkly and fun! Any couple that’s been together for a long time will tell you that it can get boring after a while. 

Unless…their partner is up for trying new things and knows how to be spontaneous. 

I mean, daily life can get monotonous. We need those little breaks of unplanned adventures to refresh our brains. 

Plus, how else will we make new memories, right? 

But it goes beyond merely being fun. Being spontaneous in a relationship shows your partner that you’re invested in keeping the excitement and joy alive. 

At the core, it’s about assuring them of your commitment to keep your connection strong. 

11) Funny

Finally, we get to humor – a quite underrated but absolutely essential factor in relationship satisfaction. 

Case in point: Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively’s relationship. These two people love roasting, trolling and pranking each other and we all love watching how they just don’t take themselves too seriously. 

Truth is, humor makes us attractive to our partners. When you think about it, it says so much about a person, such as their level of intelligence, sociability, and agreeability. 

Not only that, it also keeps the relationship strong. Shared laughter holds a lot of power. Especially during tough times. 

It might sound corny, but it’s true – if you marry someone who makes you laugh, chances are your life together will have lots of fun and good cheer. 

And if you’re the one who makes your partner laugh…then trust me, they probably feel like they’re one of the luckiest people on earth. 

Out of 8 billion people, they’ve landed someone who can make their life so much lighter and happier. What are the chances, right? Lucky! 

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