If you often feel stressed and anxious, try these 8 self-soothing techniques

There was a time when stress and anxiety felt like constant companions in my life, always lurking in the background, ready to overwhelm me at any moment.

It seemed like no matter what I did, those feelings would creep in, making even the simplest tasks feel daunting.

But through trial and error, I discovered a handful of self-soothing techniques that transformed how I handle these emotions.

If you often find yourself feeling stressed and anxious, know that you’re not alone—and there are ways to regain your calm. 

As a mindfulness enthusiast and the founder of Hack Spirit, I’m here to share eight self-soothing techniques that have made a world of difference for me, and I hope they’ll do the same for you.

1) Practice mindful breathing

In the realm of stress and anxiety management, there’s a powerful tool that we all possess—our breath.

Tuning into your breathing can act as an anchor, helping you stay grounded during moments of high stress and anxiety.

Deep breathing triggers the ‘relaxation response’ of the nervous system, reducing anxiety, depression, and anger.

Yet despite its profound affects, mindful breathing is very straightforward.

It involves focusing on your breath as it goes in and out. Feel the sensation of the air entering your nose, filling your lungs, and then leaving your body.

This simple technique does not require any special equipment or location. You can practice it at your desk, on the subway, or even while waiting in a queue at the grocery store.

2) Engage in physical activity

Exercise is a stress reliever that I’ve personally found to be highly effective.

There was a time in my life when I was juggling multiple projects at Hack Spirit. The workload was immense, deadlines were looming, and I could feel the anxiety creeping in.

It felt like I was stuck in a whirlwind of tasks with no escape.

It was during one of these stressful periods that I decided to lace up my running shoes and go for a jog around my neighborhood.

The first few minutes were tough, but as I kept running, something amazing happened.

My mind began to clear. The constant loop of worry and stress started to fade into the background. I returned home feeling refreshed, my anxiety significantly reduced.

This is the power of physical activity.

Exercise releases endorphins—our body’s natural mood lifters—and gives us a break from the cycle of negative thoughts that feed anxiety and stress.

So, whether it’s going for a run, hitting the gym, or simply taking a brisk walk in your local park, make sure to incorporate some form of physical activity into your routine.

3) Mindfulness meditation

Mindfulness meditation is another powerful technique that I’ve found to be incredibly effective in managing stress and anxiety.

It involves sitting quietly and paying attention to your thoughts, sounds, the sensations of breathing or parts of the body, and bringing your attention back whenever the mind starts to wander.

Dedicating even just a few minutes each day to this practice can have profound effects on your mental well-being. It’s a way of training your mind to focus and redirect your thoughts.

In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego”, I delve deeper into the concept of mindfulness from a Buddhist perspective.

Buddhism teaches us how to be fully present in each moment, which in turn helps us better manage our stress and anxiety. The book provides practical techniques and insights that can help you get started with mindfulness meditation.

4) Progressive muscle relaxation

Progressive muscle relaxation is a technique that involves tensing and then releasing different muscle groups in your body.

It’s a practical method that you can employ anytime you start to feel the symptoms of stress and anxiety.

This technique is based on the concept of “body-mind connection.” It operates on the understanding that physical relaxation can lead to mental calmness.

Here’s how it works…

You start by tensing a group of muscles as you breathe in, and then you relax them as you breathe out.

You work on your muscle groups in a certain order, typically starting with your feet and working your way up to your head.

By intentionally tensing and then relaxing your muscles, you allow yourself to feel the difference between the two states.

This heightened awareness of physical sensations helps you focus on the difference between muscle tension and relaxation, leading to a more profound sense of relaxation throughout your body.

Psychologists often recommend progressive muscle relaxation to patients dealing with anxiety, as it’s a practical technique that can be easily learned and applied in various situations.

5) Embrace the anxiety

Now, this might sound a bit counter-intuitive, but hear me out. One effective self-soothing technique is to actually embrace your anxiety.

When we feel anxious, our natural instinct is to resist it. We try to push it away, ignore it, or distract ourselves from it.

But what if we did the opposite? What if we accepted our anxiety, welcomed it, and sat with it?

This approach comes from the school of thought known as acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT).

The idea is that by acknowledging and accepting your feelings, including anxiety, you strip them of their power.

Instead of viewing your anxiety as something negative that needs to be eliminated, see it as a part of your human experience. Allow yourself to feel anxious without judging yourself for it.

By accepting your anxiety instead of fighting it, you’re likely to find that it loses its intensity and becomes more manageable.

6) Practice self-compassion

In times of stress and anxiety, it’s essential to practice self-compassion.

Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you’d offer to a friend in a similar situation.

It’s about acknowledging your own suffering, recognizing that suffering is a part of the human experience, and treating yourself kindly rather than harshly judging yourself.

Practicing self-compassion can help you maintain a more positive attitude, even in stressful situations. It promotes emotional resilience and can help you manage anxiety more effectively.

7) Create a worry-free zone

A worry-free zone is a physical or mental space where you allow yourself to let go of your worries and anxieties. This could be:

• A quiet room in your house
• A peaceful spot in nature
• A specific time each day when you consciously decide to set your worries aside

I’ve found that having this worry-free zone can make a significant difference in managing stress and anxiety.

It offers a necessary respite—a chance to reset and recharge before diving back into the challenges of everyday life.

The key is to be fully present in your worry-free zone. Use this time to engage in activities that bring you joy or peace—reading, meditating, listening to calming music, or simply sitting quietly.

Everyone’s worry-free zone will look different. The important thing is to find what works for you and commit to spending some time there each day.

It’s not about escaping from reality but about giving yourself permission to take a break from worry and stress.

8) Practice gratitude

Practicing gratitude is a powerful tool for combating stress and anxiety. It shifts your focus from what’s causing you stress to what brings you joy and happiness.

Start by identifying three things you’re grateful for each day.

They don’t have to be big, life-changing events. Simple things like a warm cup of coffee in the morning, a friendly conversation with a colleague, or the feeling of sunshine on your face can make the list.

Writing these down in a gratitude journal can be especially beneficial as it allows you to reflect on and remember these positive aspects of your life.

Focusing on gratitude not only helps reduce feelings of stress and anxiety, but it also improves your overall outlook on life. It’s a reminder that even during challenging times, there are still things to be thankful for.

In conclusion: It’s about self-care

Managing stress and anxiety is a journey, but with the right tools, it’s one you can navigate with greater ease.

These nine self-soothing techniques are simple yet powerful strategies that can help you regain control of your emotions and navigate through stressful situations more effectively.

In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego”, I delve deeper into some of the strategies we’ve discussed here, particularly mindfulness and self-compassion.

I offer practical insights and techniques that can help you live a more balanced, peaceful life.