If you notice these 15 signs, you’re dealing with someone who thrives on drama

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Where most of us avoid drama because of how exhausting it can be, there are some people who make it a point to CHASE after drama.

One would even say that they thrive on it!

It goes without saying that these people are not good to be around, and that you’ll do yourself a favor by avoiding them as much as possible.

So to help you out, here are 15 signs that you’re dealing with someone who thrives on drama.

1) They can’t just let things slide

They simply can’t seem to forgive and forget. And on top of that, they take everything way too seriously.

It won’t matter to them that their best friend has grown a lot as a person and has proven themselves trustworthy. They’ll bring up the fact that they lied 10 years ago and say things like “Sorry but, do you really expect me to trust you again after you lied to me?”

And if their partner said something that’s even mildly offensive, they’ll shush their partner and even threaten them by saying “Say that again one more time and you’ll regret it.”

It won’t matter to them that their partner was joking, or that they’re just being playful. They’ll jump at any opportunity to get dramatic.

2) Telling people off is their hobby

They love to correct people’s behaviors because they always see something wrong with how others act towards them.

When someone doesn’t reply fast when they’re online, they’d sarcastically say “I see you’re so busy with your life. Are you a CEO now? LOL. If you want to have friends, learn to communicate better.”

And if their girlfriend complains about their mess in the kitchen, they’d find it offensive and they’ll say “Why are you this controlling to everyone around you?”

Of course, these kinds of remarks would set people off but it’s actually what they want—they want drama especially when they’re the one that looks like the “victim” and the other one is the irresponsible, unloving, or even evil one.

3) They feel they need to prove their worth

They’re extra sensitive and defensive.

When someone doesn’t give them enough attention or praise, they’d think that person thinks lowly of them.

And, of course, as a dramatic person, they’d take this very, very personally. 

In their head, they’re thinking “I’ll show you” or “Who do you think you are?!” or “So you think I’m just a nobody. Just you wait.”

In fact, sometimes, their motivation for doing things is to prove to others how much they’re wrong about them…even if no one’s actually putting them down.

4) They enjoy other people’s drama

They love sticking their nose into other people’s business. It just gives them a thrill.

They’d listen to gossip, they’d give advice, they’d ask way too many questions. 

Heck, they might even involve themself in the drama and convince their friend to have a dramatic confrontation. And if things escalate, they’d help them plot revenge, too.

Well, what can we expect from someone who thrives on drama? They feel most alive when there’s conflict and chaos.

5) They love to teach others a lesson

If they think someone doesn’t treat them right, they’d stonewall them until “they learn their lesson”.

They won’t confront them and come up with a solution, they want the people who “hurt” them suffer.

They think that being an Ice Queen is the best strategy to do it—it will make others feel guilty, powerless, and even angry. Most of all, it will make them surrender and bow down to whatever it is that they want them to do.

Dramatic people love power, and they do it best by acting like a victim and teaching others a lesson.

6) They’re passive-aggressive

They don’t want to be direct about whatever it is that’s bothering them. Instead, they’d resort to something less confrontational…but of course, more dramatic.

They’d give sarcastic remarks when someone offends them instead of saying “Hey, that wasn’t so nice.”

And they’d say “I’m okay” even if they clearly aren’t…and then they’d just cry in one corner and post passive-aggressive quotes on their social media.

People who thrive on drama actually want to feel hurt—like the world is against them—because they actually feel like they’re the star of their own show. 

Drama makes them feel good because it makes their life exciting, and they’d want more of it even if they don’t want to admit it.

7) They think people are either “good” or “bad”

If someone offended them for whatever reason, they’ll label them as “bad”. 

They won’t even remember their good traits because all that matters is the one bad thing they did. And so, they’d keep a distance from them to “protect” themself.

They won’t even pause to think that they contribute 50% of any relationship they have and so they should have misgivings, too.

People who thrive on drama don’t have the maturity to consider the fact that nothing is ever really black and white—that the nicest people can have flaws, and the not-so-nice ones can have plenty of good traits, too.

8) They think people are either with them or against them

People who thrive on drama are always looking for alliances.

They feel like the world is against them and they have to form their circle of loyal supporters. These are basically the people who agree with them all the damn time.

And if you happen to disagree with them in any way, or befriend those who are against them, watch out. You’re now on their enemy list.

9) They care too much about how others treat them

Unlike highly sensitive people, those who simply thrive on drama are mainly on the lookout for other people’s “offenses” and “misgivings” so they can finally start a showdown.

Or so they’d finally have a reason to talk ill about others.

They’d pay extra close attention to how someone smiles at them, how someone looks at them, how someone talks to them. 

And if they feel like someone is not treating them right—and usually, people who love drama always feel others aren’t treating them right —they’d take offense.

10) They think others are always judging them

So not only do they pay too much attention to how others treat them, they also care a lot about how others think about them.

If someone asks a simple question like “What do you do for work?” or “Do you have kids?”, they’ll think those people are insensitive assh*les who just want to judge them.

If someone makes a simple comment like “Oh I love your laidback lifestyle”, they’d think they’re being sarcastic.

Most people who thrive on drama are insecure. They can get triggered by any comment you give them because they always assume people think they’re not good enough.

11) They like to use terms of exaggerations like “always” and “never”

“You always hate the way I cook!”

“You never show me any respect!”

Exaggerations to make things, well…more dramatic, and so of course they like using it.

For sure there were many times that they’re praised for the meals they prepared. And for sure they’re given respect.

They just like to use exaggerated language so they can emphasize how bad the other person is and how much of a “victim” they are.

12) They think people secretly hate them

As I mentioned earlier, people who often get overly dramatic are often anxious and insecure.

They think they’re not good enough and so they get very sensitive to how others treat them.

Even if someone is being nice to them, they’d think “Well yeah, they’re just pretending to be nice. I’m sure they think I’m awful.”

They also have a strong feeling that everyone is talking bad about them behind their back.

13) They struggle to regulate their emotions

They lash out, freak out, and have meltdowns. 

If they’re angry about something, they have to express their anger RIGHT AWAY or else they’ll explode.

And it’s not just anger, they also can’t manage their fears, jealousies, excitement, and all the other emotions.

Suffice to say, they’re not masters of their emotions, but a slave to it. 

14) They’re obsessed with connecting the dots

They make assumptions—lots of it. 

If their partner has been working overtime, and they see a text message from an unknown number that says “I miss you!”, they’d assume they’re cheating. 

They won’t even give them the benefit of the doubt…the texts could be from their cousin or friend but they don’t want to hear “excuses”.

They’d exclaim “You liar! All this time you’re cheating!” because they want full-blown drama.

And if their best friend says they’re sick and they see them posting a photo on IG that they’re out partying, they’d assume they’re just making excuses not to see them. 

They won’t even consider the possibility that they’re posting an old photo.

People who thrive on drama want to make assumptions—and they’re the bad kind, always.

15) They love it when people beg them forgiveness

A person who thrives on drama wants to be given attention, admiration, and devotion. 

They lash out and make others feel guilty so they’d go down on their knees and say “Forgive me, your highness.”

They want people to think “Oh Geez, he’s right. I shouldn’t have treated him that way” or “After everything she’s done to me, and this is how I repay her? Shame on me!”

Seeing other people do whatever it takes to win back their trust and love makes them feel good!

And that’s why they keep doing it.

Final thoughts

Drama is exhausting.

Now take note that being dramatic is not being highly sensitive or being assertive or being in touch with one’s emotions—these traits are actually wonderful to have.

Being dramatic means being addicted to conflict. Period. And it’s never ever good.

If you know someone who thrives on drama, don’t engage. And if they’re being aggressively dramatic towards you, run away.

And if you can relate to some of the signs in this list, then it’s a good idea to work on yourself. Not only will it help you maintain good relationships, you’ll also have peace of mind.

Life is dramatic enough. Let’s try to live as calmly and peacefully as possible and just save our energies on the things that really matter.

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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