If you notice these 7 signs in your relationship, you’re giving too much and receiving too little in return

Are you starting to feel like you’re putting in all the effort in your relationship but not getting much in return?

Relationships are about compromise and give-and-take, but when the balance tips too far in one direction, it can start to feel like you’re the only one carrying the weight. 

Today, we’ll explore some key signs that indicate you might be giving too much and receiving too little in return.

Recognizing these signs is the first step toward finding the balance you deserve.

Let’s dive in.

1) You’re always the one to reach out

Are you the one who always initiates contact?

Whether it’s texting first, suggesting plans, or checking in to see how they’re doing, the effort seems to fall squarely on your shoulders. Sound familiar?

While it’s natural to take the lead sometimes, if you find yourself consistently being the one to reach out, it might be a sign that the relationship is off-balance. And as noted by Psychology writer Robert Taibbi,  “An unbalanced relationship leads to resentments. The key is working as a team.”

Does it sound like yours?

It may be time to step back and see if they match your energy. A healthy relationship requires both partners to show up, communicate, and invest in each other equally.

2) You’re constantly seeking their approval

Are you always looking for that nod of approval, that sign that they’re happy with you? Have you started changing your behaviors, your decisions, and even your personality to fit their mold?

You shouldn’t have to change yourself to be loved or appreciated. Your partner should value you for who you truly are, not who they want you to be.

In my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve into how this kind of behavior can lead to codependency, where your sense of self-worth becomes tied to your partner’s approval.

You’re more than enough just as you are. And if they can’t see that, it may be a sign you’re giving too much and receiving too little in return.

3) You neglect your own needs

What do I mean by mean by this? 

Well, I mean that you’re so focused on meeting your partner’s needs that you completely neglect your own. Maybe you skip meals to run errands for them, or you forego sleep to comfort them during late-night chats.

It sounds admirable and maybe even romantic, but here’s the thing – no matter how much you care about someone, you can’t pour from an empty cup. 

Experts, like those at Choosing Therapy, have highlighted the importance of self-care, noting that prioritizing your own needs can lead to lower stress levels, improved sleep, and, most importantly, happier relationships. 

Take care of yourself first so you can also take care of others. 

4) You constantly feel drained

Ever felt like you’re running on empty, even after a good night’s sleep?

That’s what I felt when I was in a relationship where I was giving too much and not receiving enough.

It’s like being a battery that’s constantly used but never recharged. You’re always there for them, always available, always giving. But you’re left feeling depleted, exhausted, both physically and emotionally.

Feeling drained is your body’s way of telling you that something isn’t right. Listen to it. You deserve to be in a relationship where you’re nourished and replenished, not one that leaves you feeling drained.

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5) You feel unappreciated

You plan a special evening, but it goes unnoticed.

You go out of your way to support them during a tough time, but it feels like they don’t even realize the effort you’ve put in.

You’re constantly doing things to make their life easier or happier, yet you rarely hear a simple “thank you” or feel any acknowledgment of your hard work.

Sound familiar?

Feeling unappreciated is one of the clearest signs that you’re giving too much and receiving too little in return. When your efforts are consistently overlooked, it can erode your self-esteem and make you question your worth in the relationship.

Everyone deserves to feel valued, and if you’re not getting that recognition, it’s a red flag that something needs to change.

A relationship should be a two-way street, where both partners appreciate and acknowledge each other’s contributions.

6) You feel guilty when you prioritize yourself

This one may sound a little counterintuitive. After all, shouldn’t we always consider our partner’s needs and feelings?

Well, yes. We should consider their feelings. 

However, if you’re constantly feeling guilty when you take time for yourself, it’s not a good sign. 

It’s perfectly fine, and even necessary, to prioritize yourself sometimes. Whether it’s taking a night off to indulge in a hobby or saying ‘no’ to a request because you’re already overloaded, you have every right to put your needs first.

Last but not least, in an unbalanced relationship, it’s easy to lose sight of your own identity as your focus shifts more toward your partner’s needs and desires.

You might start abandoning hobbies, neglecting friendships, or even changing your opinions just to align with theirs. This can lead to a deep sense of dissatisfaction and confusion about your true self and what you want from life.

It isn’t merely about making compromises—something all relationships require—but rather about sacrificing your core self. Maintaining individuality is essential to a healthy partnership. Both partners should grow together while still honoring their own personal development. 

Final thoughts

It’s okay to want more from a relationship. It’s okay to expect reciprocation for your efforts, and it’s okay to feel deserving of a balanced, respectful, and loving relationship.

If you’ve identified with any of these signs, it may be time for some introspection and open conversations with your partner. It’s not about assigning blame but about understanding each other better and making necessary adjustments for a healthier relationship.

With understanding, communication, and mutual respect, I am sure you can achieve that balance where both feel valued and loved.