Adrian Volenik
No one wants to get cheated on. We see this as one of the greatest betrayals if not the greatest betrayal.
But when you’re dating someone new, you don’t really have all the info on them. Even if you move in after some months of being together, can you really trust them?
That’s why you need to pay attention to their behavior. So, in this article, we’re taking a look at how serial cheaters act.
From obvious signs to those that are harder to notice if you don’t know what to look out for, we’re laying it all out.
1) They become unusually secretive about their actions and locations
Okay, I haven’t met many cheaters in my life, but I have known a few. Some of them were, in fact, cheating every partner they ever had.
And what did they all have in common? Secretive behavior, of course. Because they didn’t have jobs that required them to be absent at unusual times of day, they had to conceal their cheating any way they could.
You’ll notice conversations become vague and feel like there’s a secret they’re not sharing.
So, if your partner starts acting like a vault, suddenly hiding things or being strangely quiet about their day, that’s a red flag.
2) They have sudden and unexplained changes in their daily routine or habits
So, as I said, if a serial cheater doesn’t have a job that’s unpredictable (many, in fact, do), they will be regularly unavailable without a reasonable explanation.
Suddenly, they’re switching up their routine without a clear reason, cancel plans at the last minute, and there’s always a sense of mystery surrounding where they are or what they’re doing. And who they’re doing it with.
Habits that were once predictable start becoming unpredictable, and it feels like they’re intentionally breaking from the usual.
Red flags galore.
3) They’re regularly flirting with others
Have you noticed your partner being too friendly with others, engaging in playful banter that goes past harmless flirting?
Does it often feel like they’re testing the waters with someone else?
Not a great feeling, isn’t it? If they do this in front of you, what do they then do when you’re not around them?
The serial cheaters I’ve known think of themselves as players. They’re proud of what they’re doing, and many collect items from the people they were with as memories and reminders.
All their friends know what they’re doing, too. You can be damn sure about that. They love sharing their stories with others.
And, at least some have sleazeball qualities to them that make people wonder who even falls for their “charm.”
4) They get defensive or evasive when you ask them about it
When you ask innocent questions about their day or plans, they get defensive, as if you’re interrogating them. Instead of open communication, there’s a wall of resistance.
And, hey, guess what? They’ll never in a million years admit what they’re doing. They’d rather die than fess up to you.
You’ll also be the last one to know, thinking twice about who your friends really are and why they haven’t told you what was happening.
5) The stories about their day or activities don’t add up
Many victims of serial cheaters first notice something’s not right when their partner’s explanations about their day or movements start contradicting each other.
You ask them simple questions, and yet they fumble around or give you clearly wrong or confusing answers.
Here’s a tip: If one of their friend’s names comes up a lot as an excuse or as the person they were with, they’re probably spending time with someone else.
Their friend is only there to verify their story or to cover for them. They are probably doing the same to their partner as well.
6) They guard their phone closely, not allowing you to see messages or calls
We’re all weary of someone else using our phone. But when you notice someone being unusually protective of their electronic devices, that’s a concern in most cases.
It’s clear it’s not just about privacy. It feels like they’re guarding against something specific – maybe messages or information they don’t want you to see.
They’re so possessive about their phone it’s as if they’re guarding Fort Knox. They might even go to extremes to ensure you don’t accidentally catch a glimpse of their messages or calls.
That’s why their device is always on DND or even airplane mode when they’re around you.
But what are some other consequences you might be dealing with? No or little intimacy, missing money, and emotional distance will all impact you if you stay with them.
So, let’s expand on each one a bit.
7) There’s a sudden decline in intimacy or affection in the relationship
The warmth that used to be present in your relationship has dwindled like last year’s snow, leaving you feeling disconnected.
They also don’t express or make love with you because they moved on emotionally.
Look, this happens even in normal relationships where both partners are faithful. But, if there’s a noticeable and sudden decline in physical closeness or affection, that’s when you should be concerned.
Which brings us to this.
8) They become emotionally distant or disconnected
When your partner becomes emotionally distant, they’re creating a gap between you two. There’s a wall preventing genuine connection and understanding.
Conversations that used to be filled with shared emotions and understanding become more superficial.
They’re also present physically but emotionally absent, leaving you feeling lonely even when you’re together.
And the warmth and tenderness that once characterized your interactions are replaced with coolness because they’ve withdrawn emotionally.
These things could mean any number of things, but if you couple them with other things on this list, it implies you’re possibly dealing with a serial cheater.
9) Money going missing without a clear explanation
Did you notice money seems to be disappearing without any valid explanation? Whether it’s mysterious withdrawals or unaccounted-for expenses, the financial picture just doesn’t add up.
A serial cheater will spend it on their lovers. It’s easy to see where and how quickly it could be spent. Hotel rooms, dinners, drinks at the bar – all of these will suck the money you should have access to and not them.
I can’t even imagine realizing my money was spent on swooning and spending dirty time with someone else. It makes my blood boil just thinking about it.
10) Excessive and unexplained business trips are a norm
As I said, many serial cheaters have jobs that provide a perfect facade for all their cheating. They travel a lot, or they work unusual and excessive hours.
In other words, it’s a perfect alibi for spending time with others.
But even still, if your partner suddenly has a surge in business trips that seem excessive or unexplained, it’s suspicious, especially if there’s a lack of transparency about the purpose or duration of these trips.
Even then, you know they can make up something plausible enough for you to believe in.
11) You’re discovering secret social media profiles or accounts
Sure, there are many more sus behaviors I could mention, such as mood swings, blaming you for everything, and even showering you with unexpected affection or gifts.
But let’s just mention this – you discover hidden or secret social media profiles that your partner never mentioned. Think of Facebook, X, and especially Tinder or Only Fans.
It’s like finding a parallel online life that you weren’t aware of.
Final thoughts
If you do suspect something, take some time to reflect on your emotions and concerns. Don’t do anything rash, and when you’re ready to talk, pick a calm and private setting.
Instead of making broad accusations, point out specific behaviors that have raised concerns and give your partner the opportunity to explain their side of the story.
Ultimately, you need to assess whether the relationship is healthy and fulfilling. Sometimes, you need to make difficult decisions about the future of the relationship.
